Me and my best guy friend(or so I thought) are in this thing for our school that only has a few select students, and we will have to partner up next time we meet and so I asked him to be my partner and he said he didn't know b/c he was probably going to be with some of his other friends...so I told him that he could be with one of his guy friends and I would just make friends with someone else and be partners with them....and then he told me about how he didn't think that the person I had in mind liked me very much....so then I told him that I was already a little upset about what he had already said and that I didn't want him telling me this...so then he started telling me about how he was only stating the truth....basically my question is, how come guys can't comprehend what they're doing to be just a little bit hurtful
2007-08-02 01:03:26 · 6 answers · asked by problem_girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
A lot of guys just are not sensitive. They don't realize they are being hurtful. He probably wonders why are you are being so emotional when he is "just trying to help you out."
2007-08-02 01:06:13 · answer #1 · answered by so Fresh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Different people are hurt by different things. What is hurtful to you is probably not hurtful to other people, and they don't get it. Your girlfriends probably don’t always understand you either, but they pretend like they do because they have been taught that they should be sensitive and tell white lies to save feelings.
Young boys, by contrast, are taught at a very young age that getting upset too easily about things that you cannot change is immature, and that they need to learn how to be tough in order to survive as an adult (there is some truth in this). So boys usually think that acting emotional over small things is “childish”, and they have little patience for it. Young boys are also taught the importance of being completely honest no matter what, while young girls are taught to tell white lies to smooth hurt feelings. Neither approach is completely right or wrong, but boys and girls are taught different things growing up.
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PS: Boys get hurt feelings too, but no one cares if we are upset, so we learn how to deal with it quietly, rather than complain about it. So we come to expect other people to do the same.
2007-08-02 08:16:15 · answer #2 · answered by Randy G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he thought he was your friend and you would be OK with him having other friends, he thought it was OK to partner with another person and then help you out by telling you the truth. That is what real friends are for. I do not think that he was mean at all.
2007-08-02 08:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people may not realize what they are doing is hurtful. He probably should have realized since he is your friend but I am sure that he didn't because I don't think that he would have said it. Tell him how you feel and I am sure that he will apologize and be more understanding to your feelings. Good Luck!
~Candice~
2007-08-02 08:55:33 · answer #4 · answered by Candice 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think thats a fair question. i think its not a guy thing but a friend thing. thats a cruel thing for a friend to say to you but him being a guy is not what made him say that. i suggest you work with whoever you think you might be interested in meeting and who knows, maybe youll hit it off.
2007-08-02 08:10:39 · answer #5 · answered by AO 4 Yayo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girls are jjust as hurtful as guys,STOP PLAYING THE VICTIM.
2007-08-02 10:01:45 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋