Grief and Loss?

Question

Hi guys. I have just lost my beloved father-in-law and I am in a lot of pain. Why did he have to die? Please no god botherers answer this question. I was with him when he died, I feel so honoured with that but so terribly sad. I just can't say any more. I loved him.

Answer 1

Nonjourno,

Allow me to offer my condolences for your tragic loss. I too, have lost several deeply loved and respected individuals to death, and it rocked my world to the edge. Having gone through this a few times, I would like to share a couple of observations: There is nothing anyone can do, to take away your pain. It is like a wide but shallow river that you must cross, and no one can cross it for you. You must go through the pain, but you will survive it. The only thing that will take the pain away is time. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but I promise you, that sooner than you think, the anguish you are suffering right now, will begin to heal. In time, you will think less and less of you lost loved ones, and when you do think of them, it will be with loving fondness. We do not know why such beautiful people must die, but they do, and we cannot stop it. We must realize that this passing, is a natural, and actually desirable part of life. Take comfort in all of the wonderful memories you have of him, and always try to act in a manner which honors his memory. No one can say, but personally, I take comfort in the belief that I will see my beloved ones again someday. It may be a fairy tale, but it gives me peace, and harms no one. May your healing come quickly, and may you always be enriched by the time you spent with him. Peace be with you...........

Will

Answer 2

Hello

Sorry for your loss

I found that diverting your attention to something else, can help

Time is ultimately the key here, although that sounds really shallow given to your recent loss

Try some relaxation exercises with deep breathing attached

Shock is a component of grief, so please, watch your diet and stay warm.

Hope you have a better week

Answer 3

Homeopathy and Bach Flower Essences are useful in your coming to terms with the loss. Feeling sad is normal but if you are stuck in grief, you need help.

Email me if you need more help.

Answer 4

OMG confident, a loved puppy is area of THE kinfolk continuously. No diff than a sister , brother. I mourned for 2 years over the dying of my listening to dogs chum. i could no longer recover from the dogs being long previous. I trusted him to enable me comprehend whilst the telephone replaced into ringing, and for some many different issues . He replaced into EMBEDDED in my coronary heart so deeply. It took me over 2 years to discover yet another dogs that even got here remotely close to to him. yet, my Sadie is my present from God. The loss of a loved puppy is horribly complicated on the coronary heart.......yet remember, your puppy has crossed the RAINBOW BRIDGE and is now with different individuals of his species and with GOD!

Answer 5

I know how you feel, I have lost my Mom, and Dad also a daughter. it is a pain, that every one of us will face. the best you can do is go, on with your life, and try not to think about it if you can. I know that is hard to do, because the lose tends to just pop back into your head.

My wife also lost her Mom and Dad, also our daughter. she took it very hard. it sounds as if you blame God. my wife did the same thing. but she now understands , that it is not God's fault, it is not your falt, it is not your father-in-laws fault. it is just things that happen, there is no one to blame. it is a part of life. and the same thing will also happen to you and me.

I feel for you... and wish I could help. but this is something that will take time, for you to feel better. time will never stop the pain, but it will tend not, to bother you as much.

Our daughter' was just a little child when she died. my wife, went into some sort of withdraw from everyone. it took her years to get better. but I still, cannot say she is back to the way she used to be.

It will help you to talk about this with other family members, that are also in pain over this. it will help both of you. but too, I know that different people face things in their own way, some tend to act as if they just ignore what has happen, as some take it very hard, others go into depression as some just go away by them self, and close themselves from everyone else.

All people face things like this in their own ways. I do not understand what you mean by no, God botherers answer this question?

the truth is God is what you really need now. in time my wife came around to understand this same thing. please do not do something like sit and look at pictures of your father-in-law. this will just tend to make you feel worse. it is best to find something to work with, to keep your mind off this pain, if you can.

remember you are not alone in something like this, this will happen to all of us. also as my only son is in the Army, he calls when he gets a chance. but the thought of not knowing if I will ever see him again, is a torching type of pain. that I have never had to face, before. it is as if you are close to him but, too you are not any longer. I find myself, at lose of words at times. because, what or how? do you talk to someone that you care for, but not know he will be alive tomorrow? What can you say?

I tend to choke up, just by talking to him, because I am never sure if that will be the last time I will ever hear his voice. this is something I do not know how to react too. but the worry tends to eat at me, and keep me scared if things will ever be as they were, before. he is a Sargent, and I am proud of him, but at the same time I feel sorry, for him. that is the best way I can explain this.

I do hope things will get better for you. and I do wish I could say something to help ease your pain. but I know for something like this, that will be hard to do.

Please take care, and please do not dwell on this? it will not help matters. it will just, tend to make you feel worse. I have never met you, but I can say, I will be thinking of you.