do you think she's lying?

Question

i've known my best friend for the past 2 years and have never had any reason to doubt her but in the past year she has claimed so many things have happened that im starting to wonder if she is lying
-shes had loads of problems with her ex (him beating her up, broken ribs etc. she decided to press charges eventually and hes been locked up for 6 months)
- she had an abortion in november (ex's kid and she was scared of him. she hasnt been the same since this)
-her mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in january (luckily it was caught early)
-her gran died 2months ago
-6 weeks ago she told me she was 5 weeks pregnant, she decided to keep it and was really happy about it.
- but yesterday when i phoned her she said she had lost the baby (she sounded devastated).

but with everything she said happened, we've never seen any proof of it (except her in pain, never saw any bruises etc) .

do you think all this could have happened or could she be lying to us?

sorry this is so long

Answer 1

Even if she is lying about the baby and the boyfriend, be supportive. She probably couldn't lie about the cancer or the grandmother and it's possible that she's in a rough spot and is sort of reaching out for help (that is, if she is, in fact, lying).

So just be there for her. Keep being a good friend. She'll come out of it, but she'll need your support.

Answer 2

All I know is this.....
In the past two years, my daughter nearly died at the age of 14, both my parents got cancer (my mum's still particularly ill...breast cancer which has spread), my husband and I split up, I faced severe financial problems, my eldest son (6 foot tall) lost a load of weight (lowest weight 7 stone 10 pounds), my best friend died (aged only 48) and lots of other crap...enough to keep Jeremy Kyle going for another season I think (and my life previous to the last two years contains a catologue of similar and worse).
If she's lying, then it's probably because she's in need of attention and perhaps the only way she can get it is to have a 'troubled' life.
By the way, women beaters rarely leave bruises on exposed skin, usually it's a punch on the arm or back, or a kick to the leg or stomach, sexual abuse, verbal, emotional, mental etc.
If she's had a pregnancy terminated, it couldn't have been an easy decision and to lose a baby through miscarriage (and some hospitals call it a 'spontaneous abortion'....how sensitive is that!) relatively soon after would probably make her feel that she's being punished for having had the termination.
Stand by her, even if it turns out she's been dishonest. She obviously needs a really good friend.
Don't doubt her until you have definitive proof of doubt.

incidentally, I doubt she would have a picture of the scan of her aborted child in her purse!

Answer 3

There is nothing your friend says that couldn't be true. It is highly likely that she is being truthful. I spent 4 years being a victim of domestic violence and no-one saw any bruises! Men can be that clever! The fear around domestic violence is hard to understand; you start to blame yourself for the beatings you get. Phoning the police seldom gets you any protection - just another beating when they've gone.
The fact that her ex has been locked up for it indicates that she's been through a very nasty experience of having to face him in court and prove her injuries. The jury would have seen photos of her injuries, her medical records and more - her dignity must have been so low! You cannot doubt her on this one - she's been through an awful experience and has had to put up with being doubted by judge, jury, etc, she doesn't need you doubting her. Women should protect each other and respect the difficulties we go through.
As regards the abortion - to have gone through the court case and then find yourself pregnant must have been terrifying. Did she want a child? Can you imagine the dilemna? Wanting a child but knowing that the child gave her violent ex access to her future and would be able to hold that fear over her for at least 18 years? She had no choice but to abort! No wonder she was messed up after and hasn't been the same since!
Why do you need proof her Gran died? Why do you need proof of her Mum's cancer scare?
As for her second pregnancy I can only say that it is unlikely that she would have a first scan until about the 12th week or later. By calculation of the times you give she was only about 10 or 11 weeks pregnant.
I don't know why you doubt her and I feel ashamed that you and the other women/girls who have answered your question have been so blind and scathing.
Women need listening to and understanding in this patriarchal society!
I'm sorry to go on so but one day you could be in her position and your friends will be so important to you - how would you feel if they doubted you in this way?

Answer 4

I don't think that her ex would actually beat her up or she wold of had bruises and went to the police, did she tell you that? if not then shes definitly lying about that.
Abortion in November - Did she tell you she was pregnant before this 'abortion' ? Yes - She might be lying but its a less likely shes lying. No - She is more than half way percentage lying because she would of told you straight.
Breast Cancer - I dont think she would lie about that but why is she telling you that? :S
Gran died 2 months ago - I wouldnt lie about that, that isnt right lying about somebody dead!
6 Weeks pregnant and lost baby - Did she show you the scan before the abortion? No - Then shes lying although abortion is a serious thing for the baby so she couldnt of lied ask her partner who got her 'pregnant'
Overall I think she has lied to you some of the things there.
But dont worry if you dont feel comfortable then you know ... you dont have to be her friend right??
Keep happy though :) Amy x

Answer 5

Did you say your a friend !!!!! Listen even if she is lying it sounds to me she needs friend to rely on...If she has been involved with Domestic Violence 1) the bruises wouldn't show as they are always very careful where they leave marks. 2) most of it would be emotional abuse, this could be why she has changed as she is trying to deal with the guilt issue, abuser would have convinced her it was her fault. If you really want to confirm can you not check if this person was charged and imprisoned........My only issue is that she became pregnant again....Who by. Advise her she needs to get some counselling as her life has been so traumatic she needs some help. She can access this through her Dr. If she is lying then she needs this help even more......

Answer 6

Believe me, you should just comfort her and go along with it! My best friend was always prone to lying! She told me her mum was in hospital cause she had cancer! I thought this was just another of her stories! A few weeks later on my birthday we were burying her! Believe me, it is the worst feeling in the world knowing that you knew about it but werent there for your BEST friend when she needed you the most!

Be there for her! Even if shes lying, she must be doing it for a reason! She needs attention and therefore help!

Answer 7

Even if she is lying the important thing is she wants you to believe it. If someone lies about very important stuff, its possibly because they have a real problem that cannot be seen - i.e. a mental illness like depression. These people cannot express how awful they feel so they make up stuff in a warped effort to make you see how much pain and suffering they have. In your friends case, I would treat it as sincere unless you have definite proof that she is lying. Even if she is, don't give up on her. As I said, it may run much deeper.

Answer 8

Pretty sure they wouldn't have locked her ex up without some proof. I think she's just had a really bad run of luck compounded by rash/ poor decisions.

Hopefully she'll get her head together and put the brakes on her life for awhile.

She maybe slightly attention seeking as a reaction to everyones past sympathy for her and got slightly addicted to it. I don't think she's lying but maybe she's looking for situations to cause a drama now.

Just wait and see, sounds like a bad run of luck though to me.

Answer 9

well it can work two ways hun, you can belive her and support her through these tough times,, or you can confront her and get answers,if it was me a truth friend would understand why you are asking question tell her its not beacuse you dont belive her its true it just some stuff doesnt sound right, and just let her know you will be still her friend even if it is lies and help her sort herslef out it could be she depressed or something and just wants to make sure she got people there for her,,, i know its sounds horrid saying that for attention but some people make up storys just to get the attention and feel loved and things,, just ask her and support her either way and also tell her if it isnt true she could have just asked for help without making things up,, and if it is true just explained you thought some of it wasnt and if she is trye friend she will understand where your coming from,,,, good luck

Answer 10

It relies upon on what the lie is like if I ask: Q: have you ever completed something with yet another lady whilst we've been relationship? A(lie): uh... no Than on no account would forgive him. If it replaced into: Q: What grade did you get in ELA? A(lie): ninety 8 that should slip