I've been married for over 2 yrs now. My husband is in the Army. We've spent more time apart then together. When he comes from Iraq, he's a sweethart for about 2 months. Then comes the drama. He starts downloading porn, which I don't have a problem with at first. He told me it helps him when he's away so he doesn't go astray. I being the wife that I am believe him until I find evidence that he has cheated on me. So now, I outed the porn. I give him everything he ever wants and then some. He makes empty promises to me and lies to me all the time. I'm always catching him at some lie. He leaves in September. I'm lonely and he barely spends time with me. He thinks 45 min to an hour a day is suffice time with me. He thinks when we lay our heads down at night that it's time with me. I told him no way is us sleeping in the same bed spending time with me. I'm asleep. I'm really tired and drained. I've been thinking of cheating on him to make myself feel better and more attractive. Help!!
2007-08-01 23:56:05 · 12 answers · asked by CHIGALORE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I do have proof he cheated. I thought the fact that he confessed afterwards was enough for me. It would have been had he changed his ways and been a better husband towards me and my needs.
2007-08-02 00:18:38 · update #1
We have a baby boy who is 22 months old and I would hate for him to see me like this and grow up thinking that the way his father treats me is the way he's suppose to treat all women.
2007-08-02 00:20:14 · update #2
I would never cheat if i were you but get a divorce.. I think if you have proof of this you could talk to some one from his base I am not 100% about this but I think they can take action for him cheating but like I said I am not sure about this but it's worth checking out. I am sorry you are going through this and I will pray for you...
2007-08-02 00:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by lisa_sonydadc 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have some serious marital issues going on. You have to compete with porn, empty promises, lies, and no time spent. Are you married or just roommates? Seems after you expressed all this to him that he would be willing to make a slight change. You should not feel lonely when you are married. You should be happy and feel great about yourself. By no means do you need to cheat on him. That would only give him ammunition to go out and do whatever. I am sure you are an attractive person and you don't need to do something you may regret. I feel drained just thinking about your situation. I wish I had some magical words for you but I don't. When you reach your ends wits, you will decide what you need to do. Just Don't Cheat. Bless You.
2007-08-02 00:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by flirty30 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're going through a really hard time. But cheating wont make you feel better, maybe at the moment when the other man is giving you the attention you are craving you'll feel great but when it ends and you realize what you've done you will probably regret it for the rest of your life... Sounds like you two should go to marriage counseling it could save your relationship, but cheating will only hurt it more. Or maybe it should just be over if you two cant work it out. Good luck to you, I hope you make the right decision for the future and not just for the moment.
2007-08-02 00:01:45 · answer #3 · answered by Jenniferann88 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you my wife gives me none and thinks the same but she thinks sleeping in the same bad is sex figure that. Cheating is really not the answer I know first hand. You only been married for 2 years time to call it quits. I hope you don't have kids for your sake. This cheating on his part should never happened this early in your marriage for the first 7 years the husband that is in love thinks of nothing but his wife and no porn needed while he is with you or without you. While satisfying himself during long separation when he closes his eyes he should se you and only you in his mind. Divorce him now he will NOT change I guaranty you.. Good Luck
2007-08-02 00:09:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a Marine Wife I can relate, but cheating is NEVER an option. You really need to understand how he feels, and understand that if you didn't have a relationship in which you experienced a deployment before you were married it's going to be much harder. But in the end you really need to talk to him, and before the last minute. I would sit down with him as soon as possible and tell him what you're feeling. If he wants to avoid it, keep after it. It's better to fix before he leaves then try to do so while he's overseas.
If you need anything, feel free to email me. I wish you the best. God bless, and Semper Fi.
2007-08-02 00:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The same thing happened to my friend although unlike you she was dumb and chose to stay with him. You have to sit him down and ask him where his priorities lie. He can either be a good husband or father or you can go to his commanding officer and tell them what's going on. Trust me threaten him with that he will shape up real quick. I am a navy wife and I love my husband very much but he knows that there are some things I won't tolerate. Sometimes after a long day at work they just want to relax get on the computer or have a beer but when they don't have or want to make time to spend with us it is frustrating. I hope that you can get things resolved.
2007-08-02 00:38:40 · answer #6 · answered by TELO 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You definately shouldn't cheat on him... that would make you loose all the moral high-ground you have. If you aren't happy with the situation try speaking to him about it... go to counselling.. if he isn't willing to change, don't put up with it... he isn't being fair to you and being in the army isn't an excuse... whilst he is at home, he should at least be giving you some love and attention as it sounds like you are doing the same for him...
2007-08-02 00:00:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lauren 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he doesn't start doing things with you, you are going to leave--and do it if necessary. You are wasting precious young years on a selfish, inconsiderate man. Don't lose the best years of your life in a miserable marriage. For goodness sake, don't get pregnant until you have worked everything out. It is hard to raise a child when the marriage is broken.
Don't destroy your moral character by cheating. You will only feel worse about yourself.
2007-08-02 00:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hold it....hold it! Don't jump to conclusions. Unless you have solid proof that he's cheating, you cannot do much. Continue to be a good wife and give him all the fun and excitement he wants. And when he's gone back to Iraq, get yourself busy with some community service activities. Be strong and don't let loneliness make you weak and fall for temptations.
2007-08-02 00:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Cheating wont make you feel better. It will just make you a liar and cheater like him. Why not divorce him? There is no love, respect, or trust within this marriage so why hold onto it?
2007-08-02 00:04:27 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋