They were molested 11 years ago, by their uncle who was adopted into the family. I really wanna do something but i dont know, all i can do is just talk and comfort them...i know where the perpatrator lives and im not gonna lie, ive thought about doing a lot of things, but i decided it wouldnt be right. The person who was molested is my girlfriend, and weve only been dating for like 5 months. But please...i really feel that i should do something, suggestions?
2007-08-01 22:32:27 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As a victim of "family" sexual abuse I hate to tell you that it is up to your girlfriend to get the strength up to either "tell" or to get counseling and try to live with it.
I tried both. I told and was ostercized by my family. It was a while ago and abuse was hardly ever believed even if a family member went to prison or jail.
Counseling helped me the most. After 40 years of self defeat and self mutilation and suicidal ideology I found the sterngth to go on.. I found this strength only through me.
I have always felt worthless, nasty, dirty and just bad. I know differently now. I've gotten my life together. I got my Master's Degree and face each and every day with a smile. Some days are much harder than others.
I do take a vey low dose of a seritonin uptake drug to help me along. Sometimes I need sleeping pills and I do occasionaly have panic attacks. But all in all I am a survivor. Whatever it takes I'll do it. Someone hurt me. I never hurt anyone else.
As much as it hurts you, let her make the decisions. They are private
and should be made with no other deciding factors. I went to court and to this day I wish I hadn't. It was the worst experience of my life. It not only destroyed me, but also my immediate family.
I am in no way discouraging anyone from telling the truth. Today laws are different and more for the victim. Only the victim can decide what is right.
She needs counseling and it is out there. Please if you love her help her find it so she can go on and lead a positive life.
There is so much more help then there was 25 years ago. Encourage her no matter which route she choses.
God Bless you Both.
2007-08-01 23:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sexually abusing a child is a serious crime. I think the man who did it ought to be brought to justice. The thing is your girlfriend might be against it, and of course you will want to concider her feelings as well. Turning the guy in won't necessarily be the best way to helping her. Whatever you do, don't take justice into your own hands, it will cause trouble for you and hurt to your girlfriend. I think you can best help her by being understanding, listening if she wants to talk, but not pushing her to open up about it.
2007-08-01 22:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Thats hard! I give you alot of credit for this and this is great you wnat to help her. I honestly would ask her to go to counseling. The reasion why i say this is cause she will release the anger and emotion in her so she can cope with it. You can try talking to her about it and just tell her that your there for her and all. Just dont push her on telling you all the details. but it seeems that if she told you than she wnats help so i would speak to her and just be there for her when she needs you.
2007-08-01 22:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything except be there for her emotionally. Reassure her that what happened was in no way her fault and that it doesn't change your opinon of her in any way. Let her know that if she ever needs to talk you will be there to listen. Beating the guy up for something that happened 11 years ago will only cause more drama and trouble for all involved. He will get whats coming to him some day.
2007-08-01 22:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She probably can't file charges this late in the game, but she can get therapy to help her understand that the adult is to blame, not her. Most molested children blame themselves, but they are not responsible. She should definitely talk to her parents about it because he may still be molesting children.
2007-08-01 22:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had better talk to your girlfriend before you do anything. You may feel you want to do something but it is her past your going to drag up. Don't you think that if she (they) had wanted to do something about it, she (they) would have done it by now. She has had 101/2 years to do something before you came along.
2007-08-01 22:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Tony A 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to start talking....everyone should know what he is. It is your g/f's and your duty to protect other child. That creep is still doing it, they never stop unless someone stops them.
Please help the children.
2007-08-01 22:40:25 · answer #7 · answered by jcampwick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the family really should be told, especially if there's other small children around him, just think, by warning them you could save their lives or give them a better one?be a hero!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-01 22:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by debbie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres nuttin u can do. statute of limittions.why r u telling us he is adopted? is blood wat family is all bout? unless u think hes at it again dont even bother, could had been molested himself and stopped himself at some point.
2007-08-01 22:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by the_eliminator444 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't get involved.
2007-08-01 22:43:51 · answer #10 · answered by Feinschmecker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋