Why is a father forced into fatherhood ,but a mother isn't?

Question

A woman that doesn't want to be a mother can have an abortion. If a condom fails a man is forced to be a father. How is this far? He just can't terminate his rights. A woman can say she doesn't know who the father is and get rid of it by adopting it out. Why are men forced to be the responsible onces?

I think some of you are wrong. If a man could sign away his rights there would be a lot less dead-beats. I think the only time he can do it is if the mother is married to another man, and he wants to be the father.

Answer 1

Its a tough predicament and there really is not easy solution. Basically the premise behind the current laws is that if a child is brought into the world it needs to be taken care of (preferably by the parents and not social assistance) so the father will be forced to at least provide child support if the mother decides to keep the baby. The father can always sign away his rights, but if the mother needs his financial support to raise the baby he helped created then he will have to help with that (only with the monetary aspect though, he doesn't have to raise the kid).

The reason men don't have a say in whether to abort or keep the baby is because they aren't the ones that are going to have to go through either the pregnancy or the abortion (both of which come with health risks not to mention physical and emotional stress). Men really aren't forced to be responsible though, they don't have to raise the baby, all they are legally responsible for is child support, which they can often get out of unless the mother takes them to court. A lot of men just cut and run and the mother is left with ALL the responsibility. There are also many cases where the guy might provide child support and see his kid every weekend or every other weekend but the mother is still stuck with a lot more of the responsibility.

Answer 2

Wow. Just wow. Men are not forced to be the responsible ones. More often than not, men are the ones who run off when the woman utters "I'm pregnant" or they themselves either force or pressure the woman to get an abortion.

So it's 50/50 really. Yes, the woman can decide to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption (which by the way she can only do adoption with the father signature, and if he were being "responsible" with the baby, he'd know when the baby was born and be at the hospital so she oculdn't just give it up.). The man CAN terminate his rights, but it's a hard case to fight if the woman fights him in court.

But on the other hand, the man can leave as soon as he finds out she's pregnant. He doesn't have to carry the child. He doesn't have to wear the physical marks of carrying the child whether she keeps the baby or not. He doesn't go through the emotional and physical pain of an abortion. So....

I'll stop now.

Answer 3

""I personally believe these women in the majority of cases choose to be single mothers right from the beginning,"" No, a lot of them don't. I'd say the number that actively choose it is somewhere near 10% and the rest are there because their relationship imploded. And you can NOT tell me that that's all the woman's fault. There are a lot of men who take off once they find out their girlfriend is pregnant. Maybe if more couples actually saved sex until they know each other for longer than a few weeks or months, there'd be less single parents. Hey here's a crazy thought - maybe if people saved sex for their *wedding night*, this problem would nearly disappear. Of course, you'd also have to be careful who you marry and not marry someone you can't stop fighting with. Radical, eh? ""What can men do to spot these wolves before being trapped by them ?"" Don't treat them like blow up dolls and just use 'em for your own pleasure. No more one night stands or diving into bed with a new girlfriend after a couple of dates. Act like you've got a brain and a modicum of self-control, and save sex in a relationship until you know her really well and are sure she's the one you want to be the mother of your 86 children, and be with for life. Then you won't have to worry about it. It's up to you. It's your future and your future kids. You do the right thing too.

Answer 4

Bottom line - if both parties were responsible and used precautions then none of this would be an issue! Fair enough, there can be 'accidents' where the condom breaks etc but there is also such a thing as the morning after pill.

There are so many responses that can be made regarding this subject, most of which have already been touched on but what about the poor child stuck in the middle of all this? Shouldn't their needs and rights be considered as after all, the child didn't ask to come into this world and then be rejected.

One thing that seems to have been forgotten. It is the child who has all the rights. We as parents have a responsibility to the child.

Answer 5

Excellent question! :)

I don't necessarily agree with you on the idea that mothers aren't forced into it, or that fathers are. I think that a) they should both be taking active responsibility for their actions, b) it depends on the morals they were raised with, and c) no one is forcing them to have sex and then not face the consequences.

I do agree that SOME mothers are irresponsible and have abortions or give their children up for adoption simply because they don't want their child, but I think those raised with decent morals and a sense of right and wrong would never do this. My husband and I had our first child when I was 16, and we kept her. Never in a million years would I have had an abortion, even if I had to go it alone, and adopting out was not an option, either. I never would have forced him into supporting her, either, because it was as much my own choice as his to be having unprotected sex. So, while some women may be that lax in their morals and totally irresponsible, the point is it takes two to tango, and it's not fair to lump all men or women into either of those categories.

Answer 6

It is probably assumed the the mother will always have to take care of the child, but the father can just up and leave if he chooses.

I believe that men should be able to terminate his rights if he does not want to be a part of his childs life. The person that decided to keep the child should be the one stuck with it...

You know what is bad? I heard of this child support case on television: Even after testing showed that none of his ex's children were his, he was still forced to pay the child support...

Answer 7

That was probably the most unintelligent statement that you could have said. What do you mean men are forced into fatherhood. I guess the women jump on them make themselves get pregnant and keep the baby just to trap their sorry behinds. Did you ever think that men are the problem? How many times a day do you think that they talk talk girls and women out of using condoms? Then you have teenage girls and young women scared because they are pregnant and have a child on the way. Did you ever think that maybe abortion is against people's religion and what is the purpose in carrying a hild just for it to get adopted? Thats dumb most of the time the children end up in foster care getting abused and mistreated just because the parents where too selfish to step up and raise their kids. You need to grow up and check yourself.

Answer 8

Why do men have sex knowing full well what the consequences might be, and then jump up and down and act surprised and angry when it does?

No one forces them to have sex.

If they arent willing to accept the responsibility of what might happen - don't have sex. It's that simple?

A man who signs away his rights as a father IS a dead beat dad. Dead beat dads, by definition, don't take responsibity for the lives they create. And I'm pretty sure a man cannot just sign away his rights, just like that. There has to be more to it, like adoption of the child by a third party. That's pretty legally questionable.

Answer 9

If both parties had been responsible and kept their pants on, there wouldn't be the issue of the poor, unwanted, innocent child. A child, who is a human being from conception, therefore, not an it.

I have limited understanding on this. (Thank God, it's limited from lack of experience.) However, my husband comes from a blended family. When his paernts met, they were both divorced, for what I consider legitimate reasons. (My MIL's first husband beat her once and she left. My FIL's wife committed adultry.) My MIL brought into her marriage a daughter; My FIL two sons (my husband's older brothers). Eventually, they had my husband and his younger sister. My FIL's ex-wife terminated her legal maternal rights; My MIL's ex terminated his legal paternal rights. My siblings-in-law now address their "step-"parents as Mom and Dad. My husband and I were together nine years before I even met my FIL's ex-wife.

I agree that if men were "forced" into it, there wouldn't be any deadbeat dads. For that matter, there are deadbeat moms as well, but they don't the same "publicity". Personally, from what I understand (again, blessed with no firsthand knowledge), women don't even have to legally tell the father that she is pregnant. Men only have legal rights if they know about the father, and even then, some have to fight for it. There are men who want to be an actual father, but are kept from their children.

However, if men and women would just keep their pants on more often, we wouldn't have these problems.

Answer 10

Men aren't forced to be the responsible ones. This argument is really silly. Having an abortion is not an option to a lot of women so saying she can have an abortion is easy for you to say. It's a traumatic experience that will change your life so when guy says hey go get an abortion. he doesn't understand. 2nd if you're having sex condom or not you are responsible for the outcome. If you play you pay. If you want to terminate your rights get a lawyer and legally terminate your rights.