how do i accept myself?

Question

I find it hard accepting myself as a person in general. I am generally a shy, quiet person which i feel to some degree is holding me back in life. I find im not always as liked as others and want to be seen as confident and friendly not miserable and uptight. I just feel that most girls are prettier than me but normally its just the fact they got an attitude people like. I have my hair,nails done and i do my make up but it dont seem to help I want to be friendly and bubbly its just not in my way to be smiling constantly

Answer 1

Well don't change then! The reason they are more bubbly and bright and liked is because they LIKE themselves! Learn to like yourself as you are! NOT everyone can be a wonderful 24/7 party animal that everyone loves! They have their 'moments' too!

Learn to like who you are and don't change for anyone except yourself! Be confident that you are not that sort of person and you will become more natural and confident with that image. It is WHO you are!!! If others don't like it then they weren't meant to be your friends!

It is no use looking at the Queen and saying I want to be like her if you can't now is it! Be realistic and embrace all the GOOD things about YOU!

You listed a pile of them just now! So keep going!!!

I was just like you....I thought I was an ugly duckling...but as time went on they were being dumped at the side by people because they were 'flakey' 'airheads' and too self absorbed. I suddenly blossomed and was VERY popular for who I was not some shallow self absorbed bimbo...but someone with substance who could actually talk about other things except myself!

Give yourself time and don't worry about it! You are the person you are and you are meant to be that way!! Time will give you the contentment of who you are meant to be...for now just accept it and relax around people.....if you accept yourself....they will notice and accept you as you are....trust me!

Answer 2

You should accept yourself for who you are, but your looks at 13 don't mean much. People's bodies and facial features mature until they are in their 20s. I'm in college now and people that were less attractive or normal looking in high school now look like models. The opposite is also true, nothing like drugs and partying for years straight to make someone go from pretty to ugly. I remember in high school junior to senior year a lot of girls started blooming, some people just take longer. Don't stress out, you have a lot of time to change. Part of being attractive is acting attractive, if you show confidence people will be more attracted to you. A lot of people your age are in the same boat and can't tell what is REALLY attractive and are insecture. If you act like you are pretty and don't let the nasty comments bother you then people will assume you are pretty and popular. (just some hindsight from going through it a couple years ago. It's from the male side, but I saw how all you girls worked lol).

Answer 3

I definately know how you feel. It's not that you are'nt as liked as the other girls, it's that those girls just have more confidence to get up in peoples faces and talk to them, whether it be guys or girls. Don't change who you are just cause you think your not liked. You are a shy girl, that is who you are and if people can't see that you are just shy then they wouldn't make very good friends anyway. You will find someone who loves you for who you are, shy or bubbley, whether it's a guy you like or just friends you want. You are right about the girls you think are prettier than you just really being confident, I'm sure you are just as pretty as the other girls, you just have to believe that yourself. Hold your head up and be who you are. They will come around and some day love will find you.

Answer 4

I was once told that you must draw up a mission/vision statement. The best way I found to do this is get a huge message board for your bedroom wall, then stick pictures, quotes and things up there of how you want to lead your life.

When I was in High School, I had a picture of a cheerleader stuck up there. I didn't want to be a cheerleader, but I wanted to be popular, friendly and "all that" and I felt a cheerleader represented that. Every day I would ask myself, what can I do to be more like her (or at least how I imagined her to be).

However, now my noticeboard contains different things to then, because I realised there is more to life than just being popular and liked by everybody. However, the method still works wonders!

Answer 5

Being confident and friendly can be difficult if it doesnt come naturally, I know ive been there. the important thing is that you need to assess if you are a miserable person and happy with that, or if you are a happy easygoing person stuck waiting to burst. i was very shy and still am, but a lot of pressure can be at school, college or work where you need to talk to people. I found that getting a new hobby can help, i got very much into punk and metal bands for which there is a huge bunch of misfits that are into this which i fit straight in with.

Answer 6

Everyone, no matter how confident they appear go through this self doubt. Our doubts are made worse when we concentrate on how others see us other than how we see ourselves. Try to diminish how much power others have over your self esteem by concentrating more on whether YOU like the person that you are i.e would you hang out with someone like yourself?If the answer is yes then your fine the way you are. If the answer is no ask yourself why not and make a positive change.

Answer 7

Edwina, my dear you, sound beautiful to me. It's what's inside that counts. We are all only actors anyway. Check this out. And for heavens sakes don't pay any money. You can get everything you need on the web for free. The more they charge, the less they give and even take away what they've already given for free. The best is up front. Like a movie promo has it all, the rest just ruins the plot.

Answer 8

oh, well, honestly, i think it would be better for you to not apply make-up. i think people are more popular when they stay simple and quiet, rather than sophisticated and annoyingly noisy. It is not true that there are a lot of girls prettier than you. If only i can see your picture, I might even say that you are the prettiest so far.

I think it is a psychological phenomenon. "We are what we think." If you believe and you keep on thinking that you are beautiful, then you are BEAUTIFUL. But if you keep on thinking that you are not, that you have a bad attitude, and you keep on thinking that you are the worst, then, you will be such.

Develop a high self-esteem. Only then shall you be able to accept yourself.

Answer 9

Trust me there are more than enough silly dollybirds who do nothing but squeal in the middle of the street, yap on about big brother and talk a lot about nothing in paticular. What is in short supply however are people like you who absorb a lot more from the world around watching and listening quietly. LOTS of men will appreciate your personality as frequently their biggest complaint about the opposite sex is all the incessant talking. Perhaps somebody may even find you mysterious?

Answer 10

be yourself, dont be fake. Thats the worst thing that you can do is try and be someone that you are not. If people dont like you for who you are then you dont need to know them nor associate with them. Everyday when you wake up you have 2 choices.. you can either wake up and say this is going to be a happy day or a mad day. If you choose happy stay happy no matter what. Always think of the positive and your day will be brighter. ;-)