Hubby was caught in an affair - now doesn't want me. But at the same time wants me to file for divorce. So that he doesn't have to pay any alimony....
2007-08-01 19:45:39 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thats really funny! It doesn't matter who applies for the divorce. It is actually to YOUR benefit to apply for the divorce and ask for alimony. Remember Alimony is paid for either 1/3 to 1/2 of the length of the marriage...depending on you work status....meaning that if you are not working and/or making alot less money than he does. If you have children and assuming he makes more money than you...then automatically he would have to pay child support. If you have helped him go through school then you are entitled to a cash settlement due to the fact that a degree cannot be equally divided as an asset. I would recommend that you find yourself a GOOD lawyer if you want a divorce, depending on the state where you reside you can be entitled to alot. Additionally, if he is the one at fault, in many cases you can ask the lawyer to have HIM pay for the lawyer services. Go to a consultation and ask all those questions, it doesn't hurt to understand the system.
It seems to me that your husband wants to be with this new person...Let him go. Go to a good Lawyer and sue him for divorce and try and get what you can...especially if you have proof of the affair. Oh and if he is military take him to Jag so you will be entitled to military benefits after the divorce.
I know what it is to not want the divorce...and I know that you are going through alot. TRUST ME! I would recommend getting your evidence of the affair and then doing something for yourself. Go to church, go shopping, hang out with friends, anything that will keep your mind off of this.
When the time comes and the divorce is final, your husband is going to regret his decision and he will be begging you to come back.
Remember mistresses seem like a good idea at the time...but they end up sucking everything that you have, and the sex becomes routine...just like any relationship...and he will soon realize that.
2007-08-02 00:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by yuma yuma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha, ha, ha! Oh that is so rich! It sounds like the guy is a real twit!
This isn't like leaving a job and not being able to collect unemployment benefits because you quit. He would have to pay alimony anyway if you are in an "alimony state"... of course, a lot depends on the length of the marriage... there are some legal tests.
If you are in a "community property" state, you would be entitled to 1/2 of everything acquired during the marriage, including 1/2 of his 401K, 1/2 of the savings, investments, real estate and whatever other assets that have been built.
Go to the bookstore
The twit wants to avoid shelling out the $200 or so to file for divorce? It will cost him a lot more than that to get his freedom to merge with that hootchy! If he wants to contest the divorce papers you have filed, it will take a lawyer (and a hefty retainer fee).
Get him good, honey... make it hurt!
2007-08-02 02:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do it. File a divorce under Adultery. He will still have to pay alimony, if you have children together child support, and every thing that you both own will be split in half. And you will have custody of the children if their are any. Get as much proof as you can about the affair. Good luck.
2007-08-02 02:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold on-- your cheating husband wants a divorce but wants YOU to file for it? What a jerk! I hope he catches gonorrhea or something nasty like that...
But seriously, if I were you I'd go ahead and file it. I would never want to stay with a cheating husband, especially one that cheap. He may not have to pay any alimony but you know what? That's a small price to pay for any future trouble he may continue to cause. File the divorce-- he cheated on you and doesn't deserve you at all.
2007-08-02 02:50:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymousgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't know that if a woman filed she lost her claim to alimony. Unless you have checked this out with a lawyer he's probably giving you a line of sh**. If he refuses to work on the marriage, unassuming that's what you want, then get a lawyer and file. You will get whatever you are entitled to plus some if you have a good lawyer.
2007-08-02 02:53:11 · answer #5 · answered by Strike2? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, he's coward. Even no guts to apply the divorce. Don't let this kind of irresponsibe man to treat you like that. In contrast, find the best lawyer to fight for what you should get.
2007-08-02 02:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by Notorious Guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consult a lawyer and tell them what your husband is trying to do.... he/she will let you know if there is a way around it. I don't even think that it matters who files especially if it is on the grounds of adultery. A lawyer is best fit to help you. Your husband might even end up having to pay your legal fees.
2007-08-02 02:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest talking to a lawyer -- there may be advantages to you doing the filing.
Even though he shouldn't be dumping the work on you, you taking control might be to your advantage.
2007-08-02 02:54:24 · answer #8 · answered by Winnie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if his ***** *** wants a divorce hes filling for it hes the one who ****** up not you. Dont be a pushover and if you start out as one the divorce can/will get reall rough be strong and domineering DO NOT SUCCUMB. I HPE YOU WILL BE OK dIVORCES ARE HARD
AKEPP YOUR KIDS OUT OF IT AND ALWAYS DO ANYTHING YOU CAN FOR THEYRE MENTAL WELL-BEING ITS THE HARDEST ON THEM
2007-08-02 02:53:08 · answer #9 · answered by Josh H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he wants the divorce he will have to file, that it wasn't you who cheated.
2007-08-02 02:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by M.S. Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋