My partner has a child with his ex-wife. He has very limited access to his child. And it upsets me that he doesn't fight for his child, he doesn't want to create trouble! He advise me that we have a function to attend in September and that I have to be socialble with his ex-wife. Now I don't like her very much as we have had a couple of difficult meetings. He blames me entirely for those difficult times and continuely makes her to be the better person and not me. What should I do in this situation?
2007-08-01 18:00:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out of this situation. Sounds like he likes her more than you. Had similiar situation myself. You can't be second to an exwife, only builds resentment and is a relationship doomed to fail.
2007-08-01 18:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by Jay R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out! This man obviously still has feelings for the ex. You are going to be playing second fiddle to her your entire relationship. If he doesnt want to fight for his child that shows what kind of person he is as well.
You dont have to make nice with her at this function. You can be civil, but there is no need for you two to be friends.
I would seriously rethink my relationship if he is blaming you and sticking up for her. He isnt over her and you are going to get hurt in the long run.
2007-08-02 01:34:47 · answer #2 · answered by SKITTLES 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I be blunt? tell him straight that if he does not change his attitude to you being the first woman in his life, then he should rather go sort his troubles with his ex wife.
If you're the first woman after his split up, you're likely to get hurt as it IS a rebound relationship for him, where he gets all your support to deal with his ex and all their troubles and you get the crap.
Not your problem, you did not create it, and if I were you, I'd find someone who is truly single and ready for a one-on-one committed relationship. You deserve better, even if he is all that!
This dude sounds like he barely knows his own name, and soon you'll be blamed for all sorts of other things. Your relationship is already NOT working. Just accept it and move on, before you get in so deep that you end up in tears, or do something really silly to prove a point.
His ex, their baby, their prob. It's simple. Keep it simple.
Enjoy your life, you only get one to live.
2007-08-02 01:12:07 · answer #3 · answered by justaguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you still want to be with him? Do you think he will change his attitude towards you?
I believe NO. We women are always in denial and stay on hoping that our men will change. This is the biggest mistake we make. If this issue causes you misery, then leave him for good. Have a heart to heart talk with me about this and be serious. Give him some time and if he continues, then you are sure he is not the one for you.
2007-08-02 12:23:02 · answer #4 · answered by salsps 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like my husbands exwife either. So if we ever run into each other or anything. She speaks to me first and I answer nicely but don't make small talk.
It shouldn't be to hard to act your way througha function. I'm going to assume that its big enough that you could just say hello how r u and let it go.
He shouldn't blame you and I would just tell him she makes you uncomfortable and you can't help it if you don't like his ex/
My husband has a child with her that he rarely sees b/c she raises such a fit that he said it will be easier to explain to him when he is older what happened than to go through hell every week.
2007-08-02 01:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by his wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, it's not your place to advise him about his child.
As for the Sept. function, there's no reason that you need to socialize with his X. + if he truly does what you're saying, he's showing a lack of respect for you. I would not tolerate such words OR actions. I wish you the best of luck in resolving these issues before they become unmanageable.
2007-08-02 01:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a difference between polite and socialable. All you have to be is polite. You don't have to like her and he needs to understand that. Also, if he doesn't fight for his kid, he might lose them. Too many don't want to cause problems and just let the mom do whatever. It only causes more issues to not do something.
2007-08-02 01:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by traceylenore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋