example: i was going for a walk last night. it is hot here in ohio-95. i pulled my hair back in a ponytail and sprayed the top with hairspray-i didn't want my growing out bangs to fall in my eyes.
he said i was "funny". only i would put hairspray on my hair to go for a walk in the country-it won't hold,etc...I ended up taking my hair down.
2007-08-01 17:43:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
No ..that is not abuse. My spouse is the total opposite of me and thinks I have funny ways.
Don't be so touchy and let it roll off your back like water off a duck. Your personality shows you are too sensitive and to allow yourself to go on emotionally like that is no good.
Train yourself to laugh it off and next time offer to do his hair as well.
2007-08-01 17:50:20 · answer #1 · answered by Swampmoth 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Amy,
My short answer is: you bet it is.
My long answer is: Unless you are a minor and it's your parents, then you don't have to take any crap from anybody. If you aren't doing anything wrong, and it's something that you prefer, just do it. You could simply say "quit insulting me, you worthless a.h." If this is the type of person this boyfriend (I assume that's who you are talking about when you say 'he') is, then, that's how he is and you probably aren't going to change him. If he's constantly criticizing you, and you choose to stay with him, then you have made the choice to accept the criticism. Your other option is to dump him like a full cat box. There are worse things than being alone - and being with a mentally abusive partner is one of them.
The other option is to get some couples counseling and see where it goes. If it doesn't go anywhere, then, you'll have your answer. In the short run, I'm assuming you've told him how you feel?
What I would do is a three step program.
1. Tell him how you feel, and if you can't have the conversation, write a letter. After that - each time he is hypercritical - Tell him "thanks for the love, s**thead. ", then pop him with a hand towel as hard as you can and run like crazy. (I'm serious here). If you think he'd seriously hurt you back, you need to get out of this relationship asap regardless of any other details.
2. 2 weeks into this, if it's not working at all, go to counseling. If he won't go - go without him.
3. If counseling doesn't work - do the Ray Charles on him: tell him to hit the road jack, and don't come back no more, no more.
good luck
Kevin
2007-08-01 17:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Constant criticism is emotional abuse. But it you are permitting him to criticize you, and then adjusting your behavior to suit him, there are no healthy boundaries between you.Another word for that is codependency, and that is a two way street.So take a look at how you are reacting to him. If you can see that you are actually playing along with his behavior, it may motivate you to get some help. He won't see the need to change, because what he's doing is working for him.But if you can work through some changes,you will not repeat the "victim" role in other relationships. And you deserve more than that.Good luck.
2007-08-01 18:07:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be more verbal abuse.
Emotional abuse would be getting your hopes up about something and then snatching it away at the last minute. "Want to go to McDonald's for lunch?" then when it's time to leave "Oh, I changed my mind."
Both forms of abuse, if committed on a long-term basis, can cause severe mental and emotional damage.
If you want to wear hairspray to go to BED, that's your business and he's the one that's "funny" thinking it's any of his business what you do with your hair, or when, or where.
2007-08-01 17:50:39 · answer #4 · answered by mrscjr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends - a snarky comment here or there may not be abuse, but I don't know how you define constant.
I've attached a link of behaviors checklist if you'd like more information on controlling behaviors.
2007-08-01 17:49:56 · answer #5 · answered by Buttercup 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Constructive criticism is the best but I think (He) as in men will never know what really makes a woman tick....spray your hair honey.
2007-08-01 17:46:42 · answer #6 · answered by Big Sexy 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if its abuse, but why take it, just end that relationship if you can call it that, there are nice guys out there who would appreciate your efforts.
2007-08-01 17:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by patricia f 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe it just you. just kidding.
don't let other people bring you down, your opinion of yourself is the only one that TRULY matters. hold your head up and walk with confidance. peace.
2007-08-01 17:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely it's abusive
2007-08-01 17:46:03 · answer #9 · answered by Jackie Oh! 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
if you are an emotionally sensitive person... then yes, it is emotional abuse
2007-08-01 17:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by Blazin 22s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋