i need serious help!!!! please help me!!! please!?

Question

look, this might be long, but please help me anyways! i need to get over my nervousness, my anxiety if ya wanna call it that w/o taking any medications or anything! it's like weird b/c i don't give a shiat what anyone thinks of me ever...i sit there all alone like a freak and hear them say how weird i am, and it doesn't bother me...but the fact that i am in a place with other ppl makes me so nervous i shake...i only feel safe when i can hide behind my sunglasses...and i know i am not ugly either...and if someone speaks a word to me, i almost pass out...i can't sit still. i have to fidget and i feel all sick when ppl talk to me...obviously, i have like no friends b/c of this....and i can't do the things i love b/c there will always be PEOPLE there! what do i do to get over this??? and don't say "just get over it!!!" it is not that easy!!!! i have tried!!! i also beat myself up any time i make even the smallest mistake! i guess ya could say i hate me..oh and i've tried shrinks!!!

THANKS!!!!

Answer 1

have you considered therapy? I know it really helped me

Answer 2

Someone mentioned writing things down...this is a fantastic idea.

Keep a notebook with you, always. Carry a backpack if you must, or a little spiralbound in your pocket. ALWAYS have a pen, and never cross things out. Overexplain to yourself if you must, but NEVER ELIMINATE A SINGLE WORD. I will explain...

At the beginning of each entry, write out the question (however you want to word it, but something similar): Why am I bothered today? And then write out what/who exactly bothered you, how and why it did. You may find that you have a hard time explaining it, but try anyway. Never cross out words because when you reread your entries later (as you will be naturally inclined to), you need to know your exact thoughts as they flowed, not as you wished them to be.

If there is no explanation, write IRRATIONAL in big block letters. Do this mid-sentence if you desire - perhaps in some cirumstances it will be the only word under the question. Make SURE you write out the question EVERY TIME, so that it is impacted into your mind.

DO NOT WIMP OUT AND WRITE "IRRATIONAL" SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORD SOMETHING. You can write total gibberish...but it's something, and something is always a start.

This may all sound a bit ridiculous, a bit extreme and an inconvenience to life's routine, but over time (perhaps a week or five years? Who knows?) it will help you to realize that fear is all perception. You perpetuate your own fear. The other people aren't doing anything to you - therefore, this lies within you. Focus your mind on WHY, not WHAT, and I believe wholeheartedly that you will establish an understanding of this emotion. Only when you understand will you be able to fix the problem.

Good luck to you. This will seem stupid at times, and at others it will seem crucial. It may not seem like it's even worth doing...but for your own sake, give it at least two weeks of entries. I suspect you will have many per day, at least at first. Let us know how this goes, regardless.

A psychologist can only deliver theories - you realize that you have a problem, so do what you can to fix it first. IF NOTHING ELSE, that little notebook is something you can show the next therapist and perhaps help he/she to understand your level of intelligence and the severity of your issue. Again, good luck.

Answer 3

You're right, you do need serious help, but I dont think going to a shrink or taking medication is going to help. I've been exactly where you are before, and I've cried out for help exactly like you just did. . . a million times. I think the only way for you to overcome this is to be your own psychiatrist, sit down with yourself and ask yourself questions, and then answer them HONESTLY. Even when you are dealing with a real 'shrink' like u say, you are not free to express yourself becasue, well, HEY! guess what!? THE SHRINK IS A PERSON, too. which is what you fear, so your not going to get anywhere with them, your going to hide things, even if you don't mean to. But I really strongly suggest trying to work with yourself, like for days weeks, months, whatever it takes to get the answers you need. They will come to you with honesty, I promise. They say you can inherit anxiety, but I think that's bullshit, I think it just comes from an unfortunate series of events in your life, and the supressed feelings you held onto becasue of them.......and those meds will seriously ***** you up, don't take them, unless you feel like killing some brain cells. And they're addictive, then you need more and more, and you start lying and all that bullshit just becasue you want to be able to be in a room full of people without hiding under the nearest table!? No. ***** those people that think this is some sort of imbalance that needs permanant fixing, your fine, all you need is to figure out why you feel this way. It wont happen over night, but I think you should sit down and re evaluate your past, like a zillion times, I mean, dont devote your whole life to it, but just try to be your own shrink, ask serious questions and be brutally honest with yourself, even if you dont want to hear it, and it should at least make your anxiety a bearable burden........

Answer 4

You need serious help and Medication. Why don't you want medication?? You say that you don't care what people think of you. That's a lie. If you really didn't care you wouldn't be writing this. Seems to me that you are crying out. You have a severe inferiority complex that is taking you over. Find some body to talk to and get on medication. If not for your own sake for the people around you. You could become dangerous to yourself or ohters.
Good luck!!!

Answer 5

Well, I do think you care what people think about you. You say it doesn't bother you but subconciously, your paranoia of being around people is how you deal with it. In my humble opinion here's what I'd try. Start by going to the library or somewhere quiet where there are some people around. Not alot but some. Get comfortable with that. Then take the next step, go to a park or somewhere that there are more people but you will have space. Then when you are comfortable with that, take the next step. Do it gradually. If this doesn't work then try the "shrinks" or therapy. You need to deal with this. Its unhealthy.

Answer 6

Maybe you have tried shrinks but nothing works unless you learn to give yourself over to someone you trust. You have to really, honestly make the effort to have a change. Some medication may help but I believe not over a long period of time. You have to go and go again to seek help until you find someone you can listen to. I won't try to make any over the long term prediction of what could happen if you don't make this effort, you must say over and over to yourself you want to get better, you are worth it, you deserve to be better. I hope you have other answers that say something to you. I hope for you the best of everything. It is worth it!!

Answer 7

I think you need to get away. Get out of your normal environment for a while. Relax. If you can..... take a vacation, maybe go camping, lay in a big grassy field. Enjoy nature.

Try to find a way to calm, or relax yourself, without using drugs of any sort. Just slllloooowwww down dude.

Obviously the more you can do this, the more you'll be able to get along, in society.

Answer 8

Well...my first inclination would be to tell you to speak with your doctor and/or psychiatrist. But, since you've tried that before...

what do you think about giving yourself an assignment everyday to face this anxiety? Let me explain.

prepare for the reality that someone is likely to talk with you in public.

when someone does talk to you, take deep (not noticeable, though) breaths and respond to the person.

quietly talk to yourself (in your mind - not aloud) saying, "it's going to be okay. relax."

If you can find ways to de-sensitize yourself gradually, you might be able to work you way through this extreme anxiety.

I hope so.

Answer 9

I can only recommend what worked for me. (Bhakti Yoga) (Self realization) This is such an amazing path of the self to bring one to the spiritual realization of your true higher self, beyond all fear and lamentation,and suffering. It helps you understand who you are and everyone and the purpose of life. Frankly nothing else will do the job sufficiently. No drugs, (not street or psych drugs) no antidepressants nothing. Only realizing you and your eternal relationship will fix you. I can help, you can writ if you like. You can start with reading the Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedanta Prabhupada asitis.com you can read on line how. But I am sure you will have questions so please write. Don't over look this it really works,but you have to do it for yourself no one else can. I can only assist.

Answer 10

It is a definite phobia - I think you need a better therapist, or some strong medication. There are some that will relax you, and some that will make things brighten up, and even the social lubricant of alcohol makes it easier to bear people.

Answer 11

I know what your talking about, my bestfriend was like that but her problem was worst! Every time she was near people she wanted to kill them but I always stop her and she use to hurt herself to contain herself, (DONT DO THAT BY THE WAY!)
somehow we became good freinds and ended up calling eachother sisters but anyways! What me and her did was write about how we felt on paper but that really didnt help but maybe it will up for you but she also got help. You cant just leave this problem to the side, it can get worst! You just really need to get help forget the shrinks! Go to your doctor and tell him/her your situation and take it step by step cuz this wont end overnight! I wish you luck and hope things get better for you.