One of my friends didint invite me to a baby shower?

Question

i have this friend who lives in texas and i live in minnesota. well anyway i found out that she is having a baby shower. i had asked her why didnt i get a invintation and she said its because she knew i could not make it becuse we are long distance she also said its because she dosent want me to feel like i have to send a gift. what should i do. im so mad at her for not inviting me
im so sad. should i be stressed

Answer 1

No, actually, you should not be stressed. You should be sympathetic and understanding of the fact that your friend is PREGNANT. She has bigger problems and more things to worry about than what the proper baby-shower-invite etiquette happens to be. Moms-to-be make funny decisions sometimes (every time I've been pregnant I made my husband promise not to let me paint ANY walls in the house because my judgment was... weird) - she didn't mean to make you feel left out, she was just thinking of other things. Send a present anyhow. She's still your friend.

Answer 2

I think you are blowing this way out of proportion. Don't you have more important things to worry about? I think your friend has enough on her plate, without the guilt trip you are trying to lay on her. Grow up and realize it's not always about you.

Your friend told you were not invited because of the distance. Since she knew you would not be able to attend, she did not want you to feel obligated to send a gift. From her point of view, if she had sent an invitation, it would have seemed like she was just asking for a gift. Don't take it personally. It didn't mean she doesn't like you.

If you want to send her a gift, wait until after the baby arrives and then send something gender appropriate.

Answer 3

I do understand that that must have hurt but I think u r taking it a little to personal. She probably would have loved having u there but really felt it would be asking alot. And I do feel obligated to send a gift if I'm invited to an affair that I cant make it to and she felt you would to . Dont let this come between u and ur friend send a gift and let her know u are happy for her the apology will come due to this and she wont do it again. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I think you are in the right. Even though you live a distance away, it is your right to choose not to go. She could have said something like, "I know you probably can't come, but I'm having a baby shower", that way, at least there was acknowledgment about it. I'm wondering if someone else planned it and didn't realize you should have been invited? I would at least let your friend know that you would have liked to have been invited (whether you could have attended or not) Good luck.

Answer 5

You need to let her know that even though you do not live close to each other that you want to be involved in her life. Maybe she needs to be reminded of that. I wouldn't hold a grudge, overlook this and start over with her, there will be many more occasions now that a new bundle of joy is soon to arrive. Suggest that someone video tape the shower so that she can send you a copy to watch. Also, send her a gift even if you just buy something small. There are lots of ways that you can be included or include her in your life that don't cost alot.

Answer 6

Well if you are real friends then do not dispair. Doubt can cause a molehill to look like a mountain. She probably didn't send it because of what she said. I would send a card for the shower and tell her that you would have went and that she better invite you if she has anymore. LOL. Then drop it, she has alot on her plate. Would you even have been able to go? Was she right? Anyway, it really doesn't matter, I understand how you feel but don't let it haunt you.

Answer 7

I can see why you might be upset over not being told about the baby shower, but your friend had her heart in the right place. If you knew ahead of time that your friend was pregnant, you could have went ahead and sent a gift on your own. Don't let this tarnish your friendship, this is a happy time for your friend. Pick out a wonderful gift and send it with your best wishes.

Answer 8

SOunds to me like she was trying to be considerate of you. Some folks with that amount of distance would think of an invitation as just asking for a gift. I am sure that you wish you could have been there, but really...it is a bit silly and immature for you to be mad at her about it considering the circumstances. Send her a really nice gift anyway and write a sweet note along with it letting her know how much you wish you could have been there to share in teh special time. Beyond that...I hate to be blunt - but get over it - this is little stuff! Friendships are too precious for you to waste time worrying about them!

Answer 9

I think talking to your friend was the best thing. She explained her thinking to you, and I feel she was honest in her answer. Her thinking was certainly reasonable.

I don't feel you should be mad at your friend for her way of thinking. She was thinking about you and how you would feel if she invited you and you couldn't come. She also didn't want you to feel obligated to buy her anything.

You should however, examine your attitude towards your friend. Ask yourself why you are so focused on your feelings? Always remember this: No one can make you mad......you allow yourself to become mad. Your attitude can make a huge difference in your daily life. We all have to make daily decisions, and each one is an individual. Maybe you would have done it differently, but you are not her.

Tell her you appreciate her thinking about you, but that her thinking was wrong and that you would love to come. And.........bring a gift if you want.

Answer 10

I wouldn't be upset if i were you. It was a good thing you asked her and it seems like she gave you an honest answer. I am not sure if this is your situation or not but maybe she thinks you you don't have the means to afford a gift for her right now. Also, maybe she didn't send you anything when you had a child. If you haven't had a child, yet, maybe she doesn't want to have to send you one back. Hope I was helpful.