I was 19 when I met my husband. He was just separated from his high school sweetheart whome he married. She left him. I dated him for 2 yrs. & lived with him for 8 yrs. I told him to **** or get off the pot. I wanted to have children! I got pregnat within 3 mos. I was married. We have been married for 17 yrs. I had a beautiful daughter & a son. We worked our way up in life. All of our friends were getting devorced! But we always worked things out. Both of us are very old fashioned! I was raised in an strict itilian family. He was hurt so bad by his ex. I felt that I could make him happy?? Guess what I almost destroyed myself doing that! I was soo naive I thought that I could change him. My Mom told me I couldn`t. But I was too young to understand! He developed a bad habit. Alcohal & cocaine. I am not perfect. Last year I realized I`m an alcohalic. I sought help! I am no longer the same naive woman that he met 27 yrs. ago. I want out! I still love him. But feel so sorry for him. HELP!!
2007-08-01 14:21:12 · 8 answers · asked by Little Jeannie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow.... that can't be an easy marriage.... but no marriage is....... and starting over again isn't either. You didn't mention whether he recognizes his problems and addictions. You also didn't mention if you have discussed any of this with him. You might find that he wants you more than his addiction and is ready for change. I suggestion a long serious talk..... with a little reminicing of your early days together. Perhaps you both miss those time. I also strongly suggest counseling......... for all of you.... no matter which road you choose. If you stay together, you will need some help to work through all the emotions. If you don't, you will need it to help you get through the past and truly enter the future. Either way, your children will need it. Just remember, no major decision should be made in the heat of a moment. Take your time, think things out, call a good counselor, get informed.
I wish you love, laughter, and happiness. God bless.
2007-08-01 14:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by trish r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on recognizing that you have a problem and getting the help you need. I'm assuming that your husband has not come to that point yet. You have to ask yourself if your marriage would improved if your husband got treatment. If the answer is yes, then it would benefit you to get him some help. If he refuses treatment or the marriage wouldn't be better off anyway, then I guess you'll know what to do. But, I would probably try to get him some help first.
2007-08-01 22:28:30 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a woman says "I dont love him anymore" its the end!
You still love him, so work it out! Its a hard life starting over, Im sure with the right help, your marriage will survive! Good Luck!
2007-08-01 22:03:15 · answer #3 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's still abusing drugs or alcohol and you are trying to get straight, you need to separate for awhile.
The best thing you can do is to get your own life straight first. Then - you can decide if you're better off with him or without him.
2007-08-01 21:29:28 · answer #4 · answered by Answer Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will only get worse if you do not act now.Try separating first if thats easier, Im sure it won't be but you need to save yourself!
2007-08-01 21:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sxoxo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one's very tough. You have waaaay more experience in the marriage curse.
Why did all the freinds divorce?
Do you regrett not divorcing?
2007-08-01 21:28:01 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to get help...if he doesn't leave him.
you can't change someone...all you can do is hope they change on their own. and many people other than you need to realize that too.
2007-08-01 21:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by gymclasshero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry what's the question .
2007-08-01 21:29:02 · answer #8 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋