My husband went to the movies with a huge group of people and called me 10 minutes before the movie and informed me that he is going. Now I am really laid back and I let him go wherever his heart desires. I was upset him for going ( i wanted to go myself but I couldnt make it) and he knew I was upset but he still went anyway. What ever happened to consideration of other people's feelings?
To top it off...he stayed with his friends after the movie and hung out with them for a couple of hours. knowing that I was pissed off and not picking up his calls. I mean its common sense that he should have came straight home after the movie.
of course he comes home and apologizes and says it wont happen again. I am still upset and he says that I am overreacting. Am I?
Right now I am giving him the cold shoulder and today he wants to hang out with his friends again.
2007-08-01 14:13:13 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not allowed to do this. He is married and stuck in this prison-like condition for life. He should be ashamed. He should be disciplined. He should pay big time. No more outings for hubby-boy.
2007-08-01 14:31:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've got to side with your hubby on this one. You said that you couldn't go to the movie so why do you expect him to stay home just because you can't go?
Why would you expect that he would come home right away and what was with all the calls - were you calling to pick a fight with him for going out with his friends?
You said that you "let" him do what he wants - interesting choice of words which suggest that all the power in the relationship should belong to you.
Cold shoulder? No - time to grow up. If you are pissed, talk to him about it unless you are still too mad to get to anything constructive.
If you expect him to only socialize or do things with friends when you are present / or available / or authorize it and he does not comply with this, he might not be the man for you.
But let me suggest this: if the worst thing a man does to you in life is to go to a movie when you can't go and then not race home to you, you will have lived a very good life indeed.
Ask yourself this: WHY are you so upset about this?
2007-08-01 14:25:26 · answer #2 · answered by banana6464 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to start with the cell phone thing. He may not have heard it ring, maybe he was in a car, listening to loud music. Also he could have turned it off when he was in the theater. Now that we got through that, lets move on.
"What ever happened to consideration of other people's feelings?" hm-mm, your not being very considerate, just because you couldn't make it, you think he should have to stay home and not go?. That one goes two ways, you both weren't being very considerate of the other, so its time to drop that part of it.
Called you ten Minutes before the movie started, hm-mm, he might have had his ticket already... And it would have been stupid to waste money like that.
And he is you husband, not slave, there is a difference. Maybe he lost track of time, stuff like that tends to happen. "When you having fun, time flies." ever heard that one?...
Your an adult, and need to act like one, ignoring him, well, that's just immature, if he wants to go out again, its his choice. Just because your married doesn't mean he has to spend every second with you.
Maybe you could go out with them, and chill. I'm not trying to sound like a prick, because i would have waited for my wife, if i was in that situation. But it shouldn't feel like a must to you. To answer your question directly, yes, you are overreacting, its okay to be upset, but don't be immature.
2007-08-01 14:30:54 · answer #3 · answered by Donovan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting how you claim to be really laid back and you let him go wherever his heart desires, but in the same sentence you were upset with him for going...
To be honest it seems like you wanted to go and because you couldn't you didn't want him to either.
Sorry, sounds kind of passive aggressive to me.
If I were him I'd be pretty pissed at you for being misleading.
2007-08-01 14:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Samantha K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It sounds like he knows how to push your buttons!!
You need to let him know why you were so upset and that he didn't take your feelings into consideration and then decided to stay out after the movies. If that wasn't bad enough, he went out again tonight.
You need to let him know that you and your marriage should come before everything else and that he is being inconsiderate.
2007-08-01 14:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You ask should you be pissed? My guess is that you are doubting yourself just in the fact that you asked the question.
You should ask yourself why does it bother you so much? Were you just jealous because you could not be there and was that his fault? Should he deny himself fun just because you can not be there?
There is no nice way to say this...... you are trying to control him. Did you marry him because you could control him or because you loved him?
You are trying to make him do it the way you want him to do it because of something in yourself that you are not comfortable with. I think it is sad that he apologized to you. I don't hear you telling anything that he did wrong, except to apologize to you. Obviously, he loves you because you convinced him he did something wrong. He had a good time and you made him feel he did something wrong. This is the type of behavior that destroys relationships. One controls and one gives in and neither partner is being true to themselves and neither party is happy.
Seriously think about what you are doing if you value your marriage. If you are still struggling with this, you should seek counseling.
2007-08-01 14:56:10 · answer #6 · answered by warriorandangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You aren't over reacting. You are doing what every woman in a relationship does: poisoning the well over something minor. You could do the mature thing and talk it out, tell him why you were annoyed by his behavior and accept his apology. But that is asking too much for a woman.
Of course don't be surprised if he gets tired of your moodiness and starts going out more. Then the cycle repeats.
2007-08-01 14:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by morgan j 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would be upset if my boyfriend/husband went to a movie that I specifically had told him I'd like to see with him.
I'd be more upset if after the movie he didn't answer his phone.
I don't think you're over reacting. I would tell him that it bothered you, and you felt disrespected.
2007-08-01 14:17:40 · answer #8 · answered by Sumie 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey Moon over.Good Luck.
2007-08-01 14:48:28 · answer #9 · answered by 45 auto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would be pissed off too... but it sounds like he is needing some space for some reason...
i would give him his space and relax... go have some girl time
2007-08-01 14:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by happygolcky75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋