I got a call from a recruiter, and when I didn't call her back immediately, my mother got angry. I was in the middle of helping my mom. Then she stated that I was making her look bad, and then slammed the door in my face. I thought we were going out, and was waiting for her. Found out she had me out in the car waiting for her. So she starts a fight with me telling me that she cannot understand how I pay for things, like clothing, and that I should have listened to her when she said I should go alone. I swear she never said a word. I work for a living! Then she asks me if I want to go out to the mall or out to lunch, after everything she said to me. I make a point never to make her feel bad, but she uses everything I say against me. I have felt so bad today, my hands would not stop shaking. I feel like everything I do is never good enough for her. She intentionally wanted me to feel bad.
2007-08-01 13:50:28 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your mom sounds a little sick (no offense). She has been playing mind games with you and you keep playing hoping the outcome will be different. This is obviously effecting you mentally and physically. You are a grown up now! You don't need her in the same way. Accept her as she is, but you need to separate yourself from the mommy-baby relationship.
Read "Boundaries" by Dr. Townsend, it's really helpful and seems to address your situation. This is hard, but not impossible.
2007-08-01 13:58:39 · answer #1 · answered by Ann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi AC,
I'm sorry you had a bad day with your mom. I think we all go through stages in our lives where it feels like our moms hate us. I felt that way when I was between ages 15 - 17. I felt like she would pick on only me all the time. I am an adult now, but sometimes I look back at that time and still feel justified by my thinking. Maybe your mom just really wants you to succeed, and maybe she just does'nt quite know how to show that she really does love and care about you. I have a suggestion, if you don't mind me saying. Maybe you should tell her that you really try to make it a point not to make her feel bad because you love her, but also tell her how bad you felt when she spoke to you that way. If you do decide to go with this suggestion, be calm about it and approach her when she is in a good mood. I'm sorry you feel bad now, but I hope you'll be feeling better soon.
Sincerely
Amonda
2007-08-01 21:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by Amonda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I'd feel great!
You have shown with your story that you are a well adjusted individual.
The strange responses of your mother may be due to some sort of stress as they do not appear cohesive in your relationship.
You seem to be able to handle it alright though, I would not become too wrapped up in it as I think this will pass as long as you keep up the cool attitude.
It may very well be that your mother is jealous of you because you are so well adjusted AND you have YOUTH which she probably admires.
;-)
2007-08-01 21:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by Bert H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe your mother is suffering from terrets syndrome. Or she could be bi-polar. I think that while she is sleeping you need to tie her up, put duck tape on her mouth, gently throw her in the trunk of your car, and bring her to a mental institution. She crazybitchosis or she is on a very strong and illegal drug. I think you should get a restraining order against her so she does not try to murder you in your sleep. Good Day to you.
2007-08-01 20:58:54 · answer #4 · answered by Blueeyedbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have only told us about her actions, and not at all about what she is going through and what she has dealt with in the past. Without that information, you have merely conveyed your frustration. Maybe you could try understanding her a little bit better. It seems like you have the patience needed for that.
2007-08-01 20:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by Elie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is getting old. She dosnt remember what she said which is a common older people problem. I know you dont want her to feel bad , but if you dont explain to her what you feel she will continue doing this. I do expect you will make her feel bad, but you can make up with her and she will possiblaly understand better. good luck.
2007-08-01 20:55:34 · answer #6 · answered by Johhny Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your Mom is going through some things of her own. I would suggest sitting down and telling her exactly how she makes you feel. Go into detail. Call her on it. Maybe she really doesn't see what she is doing.
I'm sure she loves you.
2007-08-01 20:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by Rita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope she does not hate you maybe shes just trying to get you settled and steady. i mean the job wise. i am not sure but hate no. i hardly have ever seen that a mm wold hate their kid now i have seen it on rare occasions but there are so many that its not funny of long parts away. so take this as maybe you should see a recruiter and maybe if you took this you would maybe get along better with her being far away. try it you may like it its wortha try maybe
2007-08-01 20:56:16 · answer #8 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I know how you feel. But trust me, this is not about you. Your mother, much like my own, sounds like she has a personality disorder. Maybe borderline or bipolar. She is obviously very unhappy. You can only control your actions not other people's reactions.
2007-08-01 20:54:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom's got issues. As soon as you turn into a legal adult, it's time to put some distance and space between you two.
Good luck
2007-08-01 20:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by Answer Queen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋