Should I let my hubby go play poker?

Question

We have just about no money. Hubby has been working his bum off nonstop for the last 2 months but we still are struggling. He wants to go play poker tonight because he feels its been all work and no play (which he is right). But I am 9 months pregnant and am sick of staying home 24/7 with our 7 year old too. So I said no because money is tight and if I can stick it out (staying in 24/7 for the last 2 months with a 7 year old is not my idea of fun) then so can he. But I understand how he feels as well. So should I say yes or no?

I'd like to add that I am not at all upset or angry with him. And we are not "fighting" about this.

Why does everyone say that I choose to be the mom so I should expect having to stay home 24/7 with the kids????? It takes two to make a baby. And simply because I "choose" to have a baby did not mean I wanted to stay home 24/7. Money is tight, that is why I don't really go out. Second, I am 9 months pregnant. And last I checked, I was supporting him just as much as he is supporting me. But regardless, we are very much in love and it seems you guys have more of a problem with the situation than we do!

Answer 1

Tell him to play for no money. He can play for doritos or M&Ms or something. He should not be spending money on frivelous things when he has a family at home.

Answer 2

I say yes. I mean for one he is the top bread winner here and its just a little bit of money. Give him a bit of a limit he could use to play with. But if you don't let him go at all he will more likely get very mean and start having issues at work because he is over working and not being able to relax. He could possibly even lose his job if he comes in with a foul mood and starts picking with the other employees and the supervisors. Which wouldn't be too smart especially with a baby on the way and a small child already. I say you should put a kiddy movie on for the 7 year old and rest on the couch while he is away. Even teach the 7 year old how to take a bath on his or her own. Because no doubt with the new baby being around the 7 year old will need to be able to help out a bit more as well. Just supervise and soon you will see some changes. As for you I think maybe if you found a job online or something to make a little bit extra money or something. Maybe try selling some stuff you don't need on ebay to get some cash. That might help as well.

Answer 3

Smart spouses don't tell each other, "No." They discuss things and come to a mutual agreement. He's a grown man, he can go play poker and you can order $3000 worth of stuff from QVC.

Don't give him a limit--you're not his mother. This is not a time for an argument; this is a time for you two to work together to solve a problem of lack of recreation and a need for same sex socializing. Work together on this.

Ask him how much your family can afford to spend on recreation. If you agree with the amount, say that you'd like to have half of it for a pedicure or a budget movie or whatever half will buy while he plays with the child. (He's not a hired person; he's not a babysitter, he's a parent.) That should make this whole business more like two adults than a woman with two children and a baby on the way.

Answer 4

First and foremost partners do not grant permissions to one another... Partners discuss things and come to conclusions together. You are the one who is pregnant and this is a short lived time in your life and you chose to have the baby so it is your resposibility to "stick it out"... So what 24/7, I would think it is worth every second.

As for your husband getting a few hours of reward, well, you may want to consider "letting him go" - or the result may be that he will resent you and not continue to put forth the effort he is currenty doing.

Give the man a bit of relief. The real subject here is the discussion of how much money he can use to play poker with.

If you are truly way behind in your bills then he should have a minimal amount to play with.

Be careful not to put him on the defense, it will take him far away from you...

You are the mom and that is the role you chose. Pregnant or not, it is your job to me the mom 24/7.

Answer 5

Hmmmm, he has to ask.......

Well then you really have 2 kids in the house and another on the way.

I understand how you feel, but he needs (and deserves) some time w/ the guys. I assume this will be at night. The 7 y/o will likely be in bed anyways. Or ask him to stay and help put Jr to bed before he goes to play.

As for you - how would YOU feeel if you had to ask HIM if you could go shopping, to get your nails done, etc.... (insert something you like to do). Not very good, I'd guess.

The issue as I see it. (And as I've lived it w/ my wife and one kid w/ #2 on the way):

You feeel "trapped" at home all day. You put the kids first which is very good and admirable. Your husband does as well. He works hard and supports / helps out at home. You both deserve (and need) some "me time". Poker is his "me time". You need to find yours.

Make a deal with him. He goes and pays that night, but you would lilke to go somewhere (park, a play, etc...), something in your budget with a couple of your girlfriends on Saturday. So your expectation is that he takes the kids on Saturday so you can have your "me time". Its a give and take.

Sounds to me that you are feeling put out because he wants to go "have fun", and that you haven't been able to "have fun" in awhile. You got cabin fever, so DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT !!! Don't be upset or angry with him because you feel trapped in the house - he doesn't force you to stay there, does he?

Now, if he wants to go play poker, but is unwilling to take the kids on a weekend day so you can get away for some down time, then yes you have an issue and have every right to be upset w/ him.

Answer 6

Give the man a break, he is working to support his growing family. "staying in 24/7 for the last 2 months with a 7 year old is not my idea of fun" then you shouldn't have gotten pregnant if you didn't want to stop having "fun". I say compromise. Tell him to limit his play for a couple of hours then pick an evening where HE takes care of the 7 year old while YOU take a couple of hours off, go window shopping or just go grab a two hour nap, take an extra long shower, just get a couple hours of "me" time.

Answer 7

Yes, with a money limit or have him stay home and play online. www.partypoker.com then your not sitting home alone and you can monitor what he spends...LOL

My husband goes twice a week. He has hobby/outlet that he enjoys. He has a limit and unless he is winning he comes home after he's spend what he has budgeted. It gives him an outlet (he works hard too) and he doesn't feel confined or like I have him on a leash. I would rather him be playing poker than in a nightclub drinking or womanizing.

Do what's best for you but I think you should let him.

Answer 8

I would say that you have been working your buns off too girl, and give him a night out with the boys, and poker means money that you don't have. I would say get a friend to baby sit, and the both of you go shoot some pool, or go to the movies, but the poker game would be out of the question. He would be selfish to even want to. So I think that maybe you both should go out somewhere together.

Answer 9

honestly the few times I've gone with my friends to play poker (not much of a card player) we all put in bout 3 bucks each and played doing that..I mean really they just play for fun they are not out to get each other. So your argument on money is tight is kinda a waste. Just let him have his time after all he is doing his best to support you. You should be willing to give back that support.

Answer 10

Why not let him go for a while and give him a certain amount of money that he can play poker with. It wouldn't hurt for him to go hang out for a while...especially since he has been working so hard!

I know you don't relish the thoughts of staying home all the time, but sometimes we have to let our men by boys...LOL.

I don't think it would hurt for you to allow him to have a little fun and maybe you and your daughter could play "salon" or something and do one another's hair or paint your nails.

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 11

The registry basically lists the persons who've been caught. basically a million in 25 situations of sexual abuse are ever suggested. which skill for each individual living close to you on the registry, multiply that by using 25. This record additionally would not delineate the adaptation between somebody who urinated in public, replaced right into a Romeo and Juliet case, streaked, replaced into sexted by using a teenager, or replaced into framed for downloading baby porn which will properly be a percentof a 17 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous. The registry expenses tax payers over $six hundred,000,000 in keeping with 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. do no longer click it. It basically validates its worthlessness. Sandusky wasn't on the registry. Ariel Castro wasn't on the registry. Did it shield any of their sufferers?