dear all you yahoo answers, i really need your help. my cousin whos 16 is expecting a baby around christmas time. yes, i said 16. her and her boyfriend have decided to keep the baby. i myself ain't so happy about it her life is completely ruined if you ask me. i'm older and i always thought i would be the one who would have a child first. i'm 20 but my boyfriend and i are still in college and we are getting married in the spring. but were not ready for children. anyway whenever she talks about the baby or about naming the baby, i try to be happy for her but i'm hurting in the inside. also, she asked my boyfriend and i to be the god parents. how can i get over her being pregnant first? and i'm really mad about her being 16 and expecting a baby.
2007-08-01 11:14:14 · 15 answers · asked by Jennifer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You don't have to be happy about her being pregnant. that is a tough situation. However, she needs your support now more than ever. You have to get over these feeling because the baby is coming rather you are ready or not.
2007-08-01 11:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by thesweetestthings24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world would you say she's "ruined her life"? I think the fact that she's keeping the child is a testament to her character at such a young age! Good for her, her boyfriend, and THE BABY!
As for you, Jennifer, ask yourself why are you competing with her. You are cousins, not contestants. Love yourself and love your cousin and you won't feel like you have to be better. You're a wonderful person, I just know it. Don't live down to an insecure thought pattern and lifestyle. You have your own life to live. Look. If you screw up your life, nobody's going to look at your cousin and blame her. And vice versa.
Why don't you take the high road and support your cousin for her courageous decision? It's going to be difficult for her and she could definitely use your help. Plus, kids are wonderful. I have two!
It is never okay to murder a child. After conception, that so-called "thing" in your womb is a human being. Planned Parenthood has wreaked havoc on mankind with this sort of propaganda that tells people that the baby isn't a human being yet. Huh? If it isn't a human being, then what will it become? A cow? A pig? It's the offspring of a human being; it has to be human, folks! Hello!
God said, "Do not bear false witness." (Do not lie.)
Think about this:
On September 11, 2001, three thousand people died as a result of terrorism. The American government started a war and is still very much in search for the perpetrators of these crimes against humanity.
On September 11, 2001, four thousand five hundred BABIES were murdered in abortion clinics.
God said, "Thou shalt not kill."
Ever consider that people who support abortion were never aborted?
2007-08-03 03:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by Michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well obviously it's her choice. As immature, & naive as she is, she's gone ahead & got herself knocked up, & she's decided to keep the baby, & there's nothing you can do about that except allow her to live with her decision.
My wife & I were very young when she became pregnant. She wasn't 16, but she wasn't too much older. We were both way too young & naive to really know what we were getting ourselves into, but we made a go of it. Many of our early life goals had to be either put aside, or put on hold. I wouldn't go so far as to say our lives were ruined, but they certainly were changed.
Our son is now 36yrs old, & we have a fabulous 8yo grandaughter (she was planned). Our marriage continues, & we are relatively happy together.
I agree with you, it would have been a far better thing if your 16yo cousin would have waited until she was an adult before she had any children of her own. Obviously you are making better choices for yourself, but remember those choices you make are YOUR OWN. You make yours, & she makes hers, & right or wrong those are the ones you both will have to live with.
When the baby comes, being able to say that you are the childs godparent will be a thing you can be proud of, I can promise you. Children are a blessing no matter what the circumstances, so enjoy it. It is clear to me that your cousin thinks very highly of you. That is why she chose you as a godparent for her child. So stay involved in her life.
I think you must be a positive influence on her, so hang in there, because one day she will learn better how to use your good example. :-)
2007-08-01 11:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Uncertain why you are angry. Are you envious of her pregnancy? You have expressed that you have the wisdom to wait until you are more mature and better able both financially and emotionally to have children. Your children are much more likely to be happy and better cared for than your cousin's. Your cousin just made her life much more complicated and the life of her child fraught with difficulties. How smart you are to get your education and get established in your life before you have children. Pat yourself on the back. Be happy that you are waiting. Complete your education and get your life in gear... then have your family. You, your significant other and your kids will be happier and better adjusted. As for being godparents, why not? Wish your cousin every happiness and best of luck. She will need your good wishes and support because she has a long, difficult road ahead. Good luck to you and your cousin.
2007-08-01 11:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by The Swami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her life isn't ruined... it's just held aside... now all she got to worry about is the pregnancy and how to take care of the baby... when the baby is old enough to be in school... she can continue her life.. back to school!!! she's not the first to do this and i know some that went through it just fine... she just have to work harder than everyone else because of the baby..
for you to be mad about it... look at it as she will be the one working harder and she can use a lot of motivation and advice from you... she needs your support.
that's what happen when you get your freak on early and unprotected. LoL.
2007-08-01 11:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it is unfortunate she is having a baby so young.
but you have to be supportive because she will be going through a lot & will need help.
there is nothing you can do about it so you just have to accept it.
you may have wanted to be the first one to have a baby, but just as you said, you're not ready.
you're saying you aren't ready at 20, imagine how she feels at 16.
im 16 & although im nowhere near ready for a baby if i was to become pregnant i would keep it & want all the support i can get.
so, although it might be hard on her being pregnant first when you wanted to be.
just try to be there for her.
2007-08-01 11:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you don't have to like or agree with her decisions but it would be good if you supported her. She is going to need someone to help her and encourage her with the baby. I am glad to her she is keeping it because I think that is the right choice.
I think you could turn down being its godmother because you can tell her that you don't agree with what she did but will still help her.
2007-08-01 11:21:08 · answer #7 · answered by Slightball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure what you are feeling is anger and not envy and jealousy, yes she is 16 but it can still work out, maybe its what she wanted, what is right for you doesnt make it right for her, are you sure you arent just upset at her stealing the thunder by having a baby before you, instead of outrage maybe you should consider yourself honoured she wants you as Godparents
2007-08-01 11:21:16 · answer #8 · answered by sadistic_bondagelover 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to sit down and talk with her privately. Tell your sister exactly how you feel. It is okay that she wants to keep the baby. She is going to need guidance and support with learning parenting skills and finishing school. She will probably want you there for the guidance.
2007-08-01 11:25:03 · answer #9 · answered by plutarian04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never say that a baby ruined her life..she did. She chose to have unsafe sex and she is responsible. You sound like a smart woman. But you should wait til' your married to have a child. It creates a healthier enviroment for the child and makes it harder for the child to abandon you and the child.
2007-08-01 11:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by Bman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋