Old memories never disappear
I wish I could relive them
But, it is impossible
Nobody can make this miracle happen
For I believe I can live with them
When I'm alone...
2007-08-01 10:58:43 · 10 answers · asked by gadet 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
It's good that you are trying to express your inner sight with poetry. I like the theme of your poem, but such a theme has been done many times before, and because of that, you need to bring something new to the insight that although we enjoy old memories, they will never come again, no matter what we do. For example, listen to these lines from Fitzgerald's "the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam (1859):
The moving finger writes and having writ
moves on; nor all thy piety nor wit
shall lure it back to cancel half a line
nor all thy tears wash out one word of it
And this was based on a translation of a manuscript that was over 800 years old back then! So, you're doing good by asking the question and putting it into a poem...all you have to do now is find a new way of saying what everyone feels...and don't worry that it's hard, it should be...anything "new" is new for a reason, and it makes it special for that very same reason.
Never stop trying, and keep writing
2007-08-05 16:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4/10
2007-08-01 12:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by greywolf_222 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7/10. I understand the meaning, which is very important when writing poems, but it is not well written enough. I suppose I am also being a little subjective because I like longer ones and those that rhyme, and you need to change your words... especially 'But, it is impossible' and 'Nobody can make this miracle happen'.
2007-08-01 11:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by X) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! in straight forward terms 12?! Your outstanding!! i might supply it a 9.5. There are some misspellings, some punctuation issues, and the begining is slightly if-y, yet basic, outstanding POEM!!! astounding interest, and good success writing destiny poems!!
2016-10-09 00:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by manjeet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously short and sweet. Needs a little more substance.
2007-08-04 22:26:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 of 10 keep writing!!
2007-08-01 11:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really can say more on this its sort of unclear i will give you a 6/10 for effort. You really can say more with this try to expand your horizons and go beyond!
~K*E*E*P W*r*T*t*I*N*g!~
2007-08-05 20:36:57 · answer #7 · answered by Sh00ting_St@r! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
...... out of a score of 10, id give tht a 5 or 6
2007-08-01 11:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by desigirl64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nifty, short and sweet
2007-08-01 11:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by roger m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is short cute and sweet.
2007-08-01 12:06:09 · answer #10 · answered by sweet_blue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋