There is something quite pressing that I must make clear immediately.
I am afraid I am going to have to take that donut. That donut with the chocolate frosting. The one with the soft, fluffy cake and the white-paper wrapper. Yes, the donut that is virtually indistinguishable from the 16 to 20 other donuts around me at this time.
This is the sole donut I have singled out. Granted, it happened to be the first to enter my field of vision as I came in the room.
The donut situated in that location is the donut of my desire. The one at which I am at this moment intently staring. That is the donut that I will shortly be removing from its wrapper and consuming. The sooner you grasp the reality of this, the easier it will be for all of us.
While the donut in question is not, at this time, officially "mine," I wish to make it known, in no uncertain, vague, or ambiguous terms, that under absolutely no circumstances will anyone other than myself be eating that donut.
2007-08-01 09:59:16 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
And, yes, this remains true regardless of anyone else's opinions, plans, or intentions vis-à-vis the donut and the eating of the donut. These are the facts as they stand. I fully intend to make that donut there exclusive to my own ingestion, and I can only hope to convey the extreme level of urgency with which this statement is intended.
I am told there are other donuts available elsewhere, and, yes, it was certainly a nice gesture to have donuts for all to share. I am aware of the myriad arguments against my eating this donut. Yet I fail to see what any of these disputations have to do with me. No one understands better then me the complex yet inevitable future of that donut, with its multi-chocolate sprinkles, as it pertains to my gullet.
Unfortunately, a compromise of any kind is not going to be a possibility at this point. For I am willing to undertake any task, move any mountain, do all within my power in heaven and earth, to lay my teeth into that specific tasty confection.
I
2007-08-01 10:00:06 · update #1
I am taking that donut.
And there's no conceivable series of events whereby anyone other than me is eating it.
I'm not referring to the white-powder chocolate one, or that one over there with green frosting, or any other donut here or anywhere ever in the history of time. Rather, I am resolute and steadfast in my unblinking fixation on a very specific donut now almost within arm's reach, with a lopsided top and an appealing pile of crumbs surrounding it.
Undoubtedly, my plans do not include walking across the room to the box of donuts from whence this donut originally came. I want the chocolate one. I do not care whether or not there are numerous chocolate ones "exactly like it" in the aforementioned box. I am not interested in irrelevant information about other donuts. No, the truth is, that chocolate donut that I previously indicated is the donut for me.
I do not want to hear about the donut place down the street that delivers.
2007-08-01 10:01:14 · update #2
Nor do I wish to recall the donut from last week that was given me despite others obvious eagerness to eat it themself. Those are entirely different, separate donuts that have no bearing on my relationship with the one in question, the one I have selected. Those are abstract donuts that, as of now, exist only in the mind—purely hypothetical donuts that have no constructive place in this scenario.
In no way are any personal dynamics, motivations, or animosities entering this equation. It is simply a matter over which no one has any control. The matter of the donut is not open to negotiation.
So there.
2007-08-01 10:01:25 · update #3
Too late....I ate it.
2007-08-01 10:01:40 · answer #1 · answered by arhoden76 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow, man! That is just an amazing piece of writing you got here. I love the style you wrote it in as well as the concept itself. You are an artist man, really.
All hail the Donut King!!!
2007-08-01 17:54:04 · answer #2 · answered by Venom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I relinquish all claims to that particular donut in exchange for 2 points.
2007-08-01 17:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by dru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are ready for that donut & if you have to go to court for it you are prepared for that as well
kinda like that first song you hear of a day sticks in your head all day,so is this choclate donut eat that s.o.b.you deserve it!!
2007-08-01 17:03:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Donuts are an illusion.
2007-08-01 17:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by lurkingonthirtyfourthstreet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Writing for The Onion now? ;-)
2007-08-01 17:56:26 · answer #6 · answered by KC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, man.
Reason with Homer on this one.
2007-08-01 17:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by Banana Hero [sic] 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that was brilliant :)
first time i seen true philosophy in a while.
you earned that donut thanks for the post.
2007-08-01 17:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it's a Krispy Kreme, you'll have to fight for it.
2007-08-01 17:03:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i ate it while you went on your little tangent
2007-08-01 17:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgiggles1225 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you a lawyer?
2007-08-01 17:03:02 · answer #11 · answered by The Nerd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋