I found out I was pregnant about a month ago with my boyfriend of 2 years- we have talked about marriage before but im not sure whether I should just hurry up and get married before the baby comes & I start really showing. I think it may be the right thing to do but then again- I don't know!! I just want some opinions!
2007-08-01 09:52:19 · 46 answers · asked by Jami 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
As hard as it is to do, you MUST think separately about your pregnancy and about marriage. Is this the right guy for the long haul? Will you be able to make him happy? Will he be able to make YOU happy? Are you old enough to get married? Are both of you mature enough to handle a marriage? Can he support you and a baby until you are able to go back to work? You need to be as sure as you can be about all of these questions and tons more before you get married.
It is easy to think of marriage as the answer to the pregnancy, but you will be doing yourself, your boyfriend and your baby a big dis-service if you get married only because you are pregant. A baby makes the relationship harder, not easier, and marriage is a lot of work in the best circumstances.
You need to do some serious thinking, and opinions here shouldn't count. However, getting advice from an expert, like a minister or, even better, a professional marriage counselor, might help you sort out what is right for you. You have a tough road ahead, but I wish you very good luck whatever you decide!!
2007-08-01 10:00:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no right or wrong answer - you have to figure out what makes you most comfortable. I would definitely get married soon, so I wouldn't have to worry about it after the baby is here.
P.S. I don't care about the bible or any of the religious rhetoric - but if I'd been with a man for two years already, we have talked about marriage, and we were expecting a baby, I would want to be married to this man. It's not like you met him yesterday at a bar; I assume you guys had already been inclined to think about marriage, and the baby is just bringing the thought into focus.
It goes without saying that if you two don't want to get married, then you shouldn't - baby or not. But it sounds to me that the idea is on the table, and you're just thinking of timing.
2007-08-01 09:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to get married? I would advise against getting married just for the sake of having a child together. A marriage is hard enough work as it is and when you throw an unplanned pregnancy into the mix it can be a recipe for disaster. I'm not saying everyone who has gotten married when they found out they were pregnant is making a mistake, I just know that getting married for the childs' sake is usually not a good idea.
2007-08-01 10:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by DelinquentGurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not something that should be rushed into and is not something that should be done just because you are pregnant. Marriage is something that needs to be done for one reason and one reason alone and that is simply because you love him want to be there to support and care for for the rest of your life. People look at marriage different now adays and that bothers me it is not something that you go into thinking well if this does not work I can always go get a divorce. Wrong come on people put so love a effort into this and do it for the right reason. NOT a good one to do it only for the baby will be harder one the child if it does not work out in the long run. Think about it.
2007-08-01 10:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by Karma M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you weren't ready to get married to this man BEFORE you became pregnant, then don't make your pregnancy the only reason that you get married now.
If you go ahead, & force a wedding just because of the kid, then I think you are putting an overwhelming & unfair responsibility on your unborn child for things to work out between you & the childs father.
Don't get married until you both are ready. It's too late to say the same about getting pregnant, so don't try to make two wrongs make a right.
2007-08-01 10:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush it! Marriage is a serious commitment and it shouldn't be taken lightly. I don't think that anyone should get married just because they are pregnant. You marry someone for love and because you want to share the rest of your life with that person. I would really think about it. You can always get married, why rush into it. Have the baby and see where your relationship stands then?
2007-08-01 10:06:39 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations!! I've been married now for 2 yrs and I really love it. But I personally dont think you should ever rush marriage. Don't just get married because you are having a baby, get married because you love each other and cant live without each other! Well good luck with everything and congratulations again!!
2007-08-01 09:58:56 · answer #7 · answered by Mandilou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT get married unless you ready! It's okay if you aren't married before the baby comes as long as you both raise the baby. Then after you are over with loosing the baby wait and ready to get married, go all and get married. Don't rush into bc you are pregnant! Good Luck!
2007-08-01 09:55:57 · answer #8 · answered by Chicka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what I had to do. Was going to get married in March of next year, found out we were pregnant in June and moved the wedding up to October.
Good luck and congratulations
Update: We also did the courthouse wedding 3 weeks ago, so the big wedding is in October, hopefully before she really starts showing.
2007-08-01 09:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by sam l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both really love each other and want to spend the rest of your life together then get married. If it is for the baby, I don't recommend it. You should marry when YOUR ready, having a baby or not will not guarantee a happy or successful marriage.
2007-08-01 09:56:40 · answer #10 · answered by Natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋