Sometimes people say "I don't know" when we ask them why they love a particular person. It is hard for them to answer. Is that how love should be?
Or should it be more definable like qualities a,b,c......
2007-08-01 09:50:19 · 8 answers · asked by ? 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
It is you (through the instinct of procreation combined with "survival of the fittest") choosing the best prospect on your horizon.
Further, this "attribute" you posses manifests itself differently throughout your life. When you are younger (and more desirable) you will be more particular, judgemental and fickle about a prospective love-partner. When you are older (and frankly more desperate for one)...love will come much easier...
2007-08-05 09:11:26 · answer #1 · answered by M O R P H E U S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Our bodies make us attracted to people whom have genes that are the most dissimilar to our own - that way our children will be more biologically diverse and resistant to disease and genetic defects. This is "love at first sight."
Also, physically healthy people in general are attractive.
Falling in love causes certain chemicals to be released in our bodies, and those chemicals make you intensely drawn to a person. The feeling when experienced at its peak is similar to some addictive drugs, and indeed drugs can stimulate these chemicals as well. The experience is short term as our body cannot maintain this "high" for too long.
The feeling for that person will go away quickly if (after the initial attraction) we find that the person is too un-nurturing, or unkind. Kindness, even if there is not a lot of physical pull to provide an initial attraction, will make a person very attractive, as it means they will be good with their children in the future.
But, its what you already know, just put into scientific theory...Its all about having children, and being able to take care of them. Men don't get pregnant, so they are wired to try and spread as much of their seed as possible, and women can only get pregnant by one man, so they are naturally choosy. The instincts are there, and that is what they are based on, even if you don't plan to have children.
But asking "why" spoils the fun, just relax, and use some common sense when choosing a partner. When you find one, and have been with them for a while, make sure not to take each other for granted - or else things go stale very quickly.
Thinking in terms of a, b, c is very boring...Analysis is really just a masked form of doubt and negativity. Just enjoy as much as you can enjoy...Trying to Have things "perfect" is also just another type of doubt and negativity.
2007-08-03 10:24:22 · answer #2 · answered by driving_blindly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A series of things can make you love a person....the way you feel around them, the way they do small things that matter like bringing you roses, the way they tell you you're beautiful in the morning.....it's never one thing. Qualities and chemistry attract you to them, but love goes deeper than anything that can be described.
2007-08-01 16:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by Samantha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe love is defined as "a mixture of emotions,feelings and efort from both sides". sure it's easy to blame it all on our hormones, but it takes courage to admit that what you feel is more than just physical attraction... real love doesn't see faces nor bodies... doesn't care if you have big breast, small nose, muscles, full lips or long legs... it's all about the heart and the feelings... those who take love as a simple attraction are not trully in love... the qualities,the flaws and one's determination to meet happiness actually makes you fall in love eventually. of course hormones have their way but only when it comes to sex...
2007-08-01 17:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by uptowngirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you fall into that "love at first sight" category, then it is a mixture of hormones, pheromones and timing.
If you gradually slip into love with someone you know, someone that you have spent time with, who has become a friend and a companion as well as a lover, then it is recognition and comfort, with a strong dose of hormones thrown in for "flavor".
2007-08-01 17:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by mikalina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a little of both. Like, the "a, b, c" is more like a set of guidelines to steer us towards people we are likely to have more chemistry with.
I've met people who met ALL of my "expectations," who had it all, "a, b,c".... and who I felt absolutely nothing for.
And then there are those oddballs who are missing something and have, say, a and b but are missing c. And I feel an unexpected pull towards them.
That's why I lean towards the undefinable.
2007-08-01 20:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice to love someone is prompted by "recognition" at the level of 'being.'
2007-08-01 17:26:10 · answer #7 · answered by MysticMaze 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hormones. Every one needs sweeet sex.
2007-08-01 16:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋