what advice can i give my sister?

Question

ok my sister was had a baby with a guy who she was with for 6 years. the guy became verbally abusive and eventually i talked her into leaving him. she moved with me to california from indiana. about 5 months into the move she starts a long distance/phone relationship with a guy she knew from indiana.well they fell in love and he is a great guy and would be a great step father for her son. so he came to visit a few times and on the last visit she had told him she wasnt on any birth control and offered a condom and he said no and they joked about getting pregnant. well, they did. now my sister is moving back to IN to be with the guy, and they've talked marriage. but she was just out visiting him and she's nit picking on why she doesnt want to be with him anymore. supposidly he only showers every other day. which that would bug me too. he's too afectionate, wanting to hold her and kiss and cuddle all night. that kind of stuff. she doesnt want to move now, what can i tell her?

i want her to be happy but i know how hard it will be for her and how unhappy she will be if she tries to be a single mom to a new born and a 4 year old. she's almost 30, but i just think she didnt think her actions out before making choices. i told her to just talk this out with him, but she's just irritated and grossed out by him now and not so sure that she really loves him.

Answer 1

Infuriated if she has seconds thought about this guy and doesn't like his behaviors and his personal hygiene.
Then she will probably just need to move on. Marring this guy would only end in disaster.

She will just have to be a single mom to two children.
I am sure the dad of the baby she is carrying, will want some sort of visitation, custody. It could get ugly.

She needs to be sure of the next guy she hooks up with and not think about having a baby with someone until they have established a long relationship, and perhaps get married first.
I know you already know that, as does she.

She needs to find a place she can live on her own with the kids. There are places she can go for assistance. She needs to contact family Services or HUD housing and see what her options are.

~faith