How do you stop being a people pleaser?

Question

To my dismay I have realized that I am a people pleaser. It is wearing me down, and people feel that they can use me any time they feel like it. I want a little respect in life...I'm just afraid to say no and make people unhappy. I think its time for a change. But how do I do it? Any suggestions at all?

Answer 1

a few words to learn
no
h*ll no
no
p*ss off
no
f*ck you
no
do it yourself
no











































































































































(p.s. i am not meant to be taken seriously)

Answer 2

It's very nice to help people. You shouldn't change that. But if you think you're being used...and you still want to maintain a relationship with those people..just come up with a slick excuse why you can't do something they ask.

It's not the "no" that offends people it's how you phrase it:) So be nice and smart abt it. Politicians are;)))) There's nothing better than a drop of honey here and there!

***it's wearing you down..if you understand that and don't care abt yourself..why do you expect a different treatment from others?

Answer 3

It is not bad to be a people pleaser! Its a good thing! You just need to learn to be a self pleaser as well, and balance the two. You likely will never stop wanting to do things for other people, and you shouldnt want to. Making other people happy makes some of us happier. Its part of who we are, and not a bad part. You just need to realize that you are as important as anyone else, and part of your time needs to be spent pleasing yourself too.

Answer 4

This rings a strong bell for me!! I was born in 1929 when all children were to be seen and not heard!! I learned my lesson well, by being locked in the bathroom when I threw a tantrum or was crying! I didn't get out until I was not only quiet, but put a smile on! Needless to say, you can imagine what was behind the smile!!! I accepted that I was to only do and say what people wanted me to do and be!! That built me into a wall that nearly killed me--by suicide!---Usually, your kind of fear comes from being built in early in life and therefore, most people need professional help in finding out the "cause" and to remedy the pain. I use the word "pain" from experience! Through years of good therapy, I was able to develop the person I naturally was and am!! It saved my life! Your situation may not be as severe as mine was, but exploring our lives with a registered therapist--a good Psychiatric Social Worker is really the best, in my opinion, to explore our inner world and how we adjusted to the outer demands of our Family of Origin.

Answer 5

prepare saying no i replaced right into a human beings pleaser too - yet i found out it replaced into by using fact i replaced into afraid if i did no longer say sure all of the time, human beings does unlike me. little by ability of little i began out to do superb issues for myself, and not make myself so attainable for others. I nevertheless opt for to do issues for others, yet no longer at my fee. earlier I comply with do something for somebody else, I ask myself - are you doing this to be enjoyed, or by using fact you somewhat opt for to. If i do no longer somewhat opt for to, then i do no longer do it. P.S. in specific situations saying no ability basically no longer answering the telephone.

Answer 6

Try to go by the Golden Rule....it has worked for me ( I like the previous answer, very well put )