Why do so many men seem to think a woman's utimate goal in life is to be attractive to men?

Question

I've seen 2 questions today regarding this, one asking about men's "pink flag" reaction to a woman indicating she is a feminist, the other dictating how men are so fervently unattracted to powerful and successful women.

In my eyes this is the patriarchy at work, "Honey don't hold those beliefs, or your stock goes down"

As if our stock should be determined by men who should dictate what IS and what IS NOT attractive.

Why do you get to decide what is or is not?

Either way...Why on earth should we give a rats a$$ what attracts you?

Should men adhere their lives and beliefs simply because that's what attracts women?

Serious answers please

Seriously what is it you are hoping to hear? "Oh yessir, i'ma so sorry my identity is unattractive to you sir, allow me to sell out to what YOU want, because after all that is what's most important, you big strong man you"

LMAO!

Riiight jackal, the ego-maniacal essence at work, yessir my beauty regiment is of course for your need to look at something beautiful, uh huh, yeah LOL this is too funny

In the spirit of equality, yes steve you are probably right, I focused on men however because of the questions i referenced that were posted today, thanks for the reminder,

((talks to self))
"remember objectivity, girly, remember objectivity"

Vah> more than likely? you have posted trolling questions before and were added to my blocked list along with all the other trolls

Kendrick, very cute, the debate at hand is women's attractivness not attraction, but you boys just can't wait to get those lesbian digs in can you? care to contribute to the actual question, or are your *cough* comical *cough cough* quips all you are able supply?

Kendrick your attempt is pathetic at best to avoid your original statement...i thought you would have left it out, in case you go back to edit it i have taken the liberty of copying it "If you aren't sexually attracted to men"

What indication is there of this? the statement implies alternative sexual attraction, thereby homosexuality, the offense was not taken by this term, LOL funny you would assume that, the offense was taken that you seem to think that it is who I am attracted to that is in question, while it is inherently not, it is who I intend to attract, or better the lack thereof. Nice try though, again, care to address the actual question?

Wow jonmc lol you gave me a good laugh, thank you LOL

heres your "evidence" sweetie

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AsIhG0P2G3v46mcKA9SuUR3sy6IX?qid=20070801132831AAJAmHR&show=7#profile-info-AA12161166

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak8SlfH2IeRSZ.LjPz74Tsfty6IX?qid=20070801094544AAMA2rm&show=7#profile-info-H5rWIMfQaa

And lastly, please do not embarass yourself by attempting yet another act of posession. I'm am not now, nor have I ever been anyone's girly mcfemale.

jonmc ((Whispers)) psst! your superiority complex is showing

Answer 1

It's really funny this should be posted. I've talked to more guys in the past few weeks that seem to think that all women dress themselves in the morning for the pleasure of men. They think that we consider them when making every choice, and assume that everything we do is for them, and all about them. You would think that most would have realized by now how unattractive this mindset is to any female who's not a bimbo.

Answer 2

I'm guilty, I've said that on here, lol. I've said that about the men in Northern California, where I live now. It's because they are not very physically appealing to me, but then I'm comparing them to men in Southern California who live along the coast and love going down to the beach & spend their free time at the gym or partying, so it's not a fair comparison I guess. I'm trying to admire the positive qualities in them/him, but it's not what I am used to. I guess men who are driven to success are a good thing and with me getting older (I'm 24) that should be my goal, BUT I'd be lying if I said that physically I'm not still into the guy with the tan skin, white teeth, muscles and dresses well. It's funny though, because I used to date those kinds of guys and they were usually bad in relationships. Earlier this year after the guy I dated until January turned out to have a fiancee, I decided to date nerdy men, and since then, every guy I've dated so far has bored me in a way, but then maybe I'm just being rude. I have a dream man in my mind, which is NEVER good because fantasies for the opposite sex never come true. People are real, fantasies are not.

Answer 3

This is a very good question. I'm interested in seeing the answers you'll get, especially the answers from the men in this forum.

It amazes me how many men get offended and upset that there are women who could care less what a man finds appealing about them.

A few months ago I was surfing the net and came across a website about stockings & pantyhose. The website had a forum where people would post about all things stocking related. There were several posts from men and some women who were complaining about the declining numbers of women (specifically young women) wearing nylons and/or stockings today. For the men who complained, it was mostly about the sex appeal of seeing a woman in stockings and how they missed that. Some of them even had the nerve to say it wasn't right that women are wearing pants! Can you believe such nonsense? Some ladies jobs require them to wear pants and not a dress. I work in an office, but they don't require you to wear stockings with a dress. Sometimes I wear stockings if the outfit requires it, other times I don't. Where I'm at, it's very hot in the summer. I would be sweltering if I had to wear stockings every day.

Answer 4

Yes, I find successful intelligent women to be very attractive. It depends on what the guy is looking for, if it is just an attractive thing to show off, those guys like dumb and pretty. If a relationship is intended, then someone intelligent and successful is a much better target. I also like women who have independent opinions and are willing to be different, those women make better partners. It depends on what you are looking for in a guy, most pretty boys with abusive mentalities, are always treating women like dirt, but those decent nerds can't get a date cause you women don't find us attractive. Respectfully, I think this attractive problem works both ways.

Edit: your question is an excellent one, and needs to be said. The most important thing is to love each other and treat each other with respect, and it really helps me to hear a woman's perspective on issues. Some of the answers below show how far we have to go to attain that needed level of respect, and lets hope your question is a step in a good direction.

Answer 5

If a woman wants liquid power, her looks are the fastest way to it. That doesn't mean she should or that it's the way it should be, it's just the way it is. As Yoda said about the dark side of the force, it's "faster, ....more seductive."
Whether you're a woman or a man, if you don't pay attention to what the other gender wants looks-wise, you'll lose out on the opportunity to attract from a larger, more attractive pool. If you don't care, so be it.
Most men do adhere at least part of their lives and beliefs to attract and keep women, it's just not nearly as important for them to pay attention to physical attractiveness. I'm not happy that women tend to like a man with an "edge" and I will not develop that edge. But, I do diet, exercise, dress well, develop confidence, and financial security to degrees that I wouldn't if it weren't for my desire to attract women.
You're seemingly unable to recognize certain realities, and that's not attractive, but you don't care I guess.

Answer 6

Because girls always ask if she's attractive enough, if she's look good, etc. If you were a guy and have a girl friend or wife, then you will find those questions very familiar.

On the other hand, if you were a woman, how often were you asked by your boy friend or spouse with those questions? How often were you asked by your female friends instead?

The answer is already there... It's the society we grow up with that give females those behaviors and give males those ideas.

Answer 7

whoa... overwhelmed by edits. um, what was the question?

ah. well, sadly, some women are most concerned about altering their appearance as to be most attrative to males. some women. (assigned F at birth, spent a lot of time observing this tendency) endless questions of - do i look cute, is this slutty enough (not kidding...), if there won't be guys there then whats the point, etc. a high priority is put on striving to be whatever is currently "hot, attractive". maybe to compete with other women for male attention, to try and emulate the kind of appearance women assume men are drawn to...

and yes it is the patriarchy. through and through. can't think of a single guy who is completely devoted to making himself as attractive as possible so that he feels validated by getting "enough" attention by females. this burden seems to have been placed on the shoulders of gay men as well, so that men now, too, will go to any length to improve their skin, hair, clothes, shoes, overall look or style, and spend endless hours working out to acheive a body they feel will attract men. studies have shown that men are more visual than women - but that isn't enough to explain the obcession with measuring up and being pretty enough to get guys to want you. there are many other forces at work --- sexist, misogynisitic, patriarchal forces.

feminist ftm
((peace))

Answer 8

If you aren't sexually attracted to men Girly McFemale... everyone is okay with that. You have that choice.

Why do women get to decide what makes men attractive? Ah, maybe because they're the ones that are attracted to them. ah

Again, if you don't want to attract men, then that's your choice.

Edit: This answer is as real as it gets. Nothing is comical except your question. I've never thrown any lesbian stuff around. I don't have a problem with lesbians, so it's not an insult. The fact that you took it as an insult, means that you have problems with lesbians. It's the actual answer... if you don't want to attract men, then DON'T. If I complained about why women decide which men are attractive would be silly. IT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONES ATTRACTED TO YOU(THE OPPOSITE SEX).

Edit(2): I didn't assume anything. It's in your words. You're lucky I answered twice, so I'm not answering a 3rd time. Why don't you just tell people what answer you want, because you don't want an actual answer.

To compromise with you: I guess technically, you could say that it's possible that you're attracted to men, but don't want men to be attracted to you. Either way, I don't care what your sexual orientation is... if you don't want to attract men, then DON'T.
You may want to take a step back and re-read your question, and statements... I haven't insulted you. I could replicate your attitude by saying... "You should try again in your pathetic attempt to ask a reasonable question. Why would I give a rats *** if you want to be attractive" and so on. You're being very abrasive.
I think you're letting the angry men get to you. Don't.

Answer 9

Where is this ''evidence''? I looked at the first link, which sends me to a question. I have read the question and answers and cannot find one man who implies or says women's ultimate goal in life is to be seen as attractive to men. He did not even imply physical looks but personality. As for the the second link, it was a question asked by Mike T on women's success - again, nothing to do with physical attraction.

As a man, I do not think a woman's ultimate goal in life is to be seen as attractive to men. Although, biologically, men are attracted to beautiful women as they are usually the most fertile. Big hips, etc. symbolizes fertility. So in a way, our ''ultimate goal'' in life - whether male or female - is to reproduce.

I haven't decided this - biology has.

Why should you care? Because you wish to attract a possible mate. If you don't wish to, then you don't have to care.

Answer 10

Hey, I had trouble viewing this question under my other account. Said I couldn't view this question at this time. Why is this?

But, I will answer and say that you are in denial if you think women aren't at all concerned about what men find to be attractive. Men like to feel attractive to women, women like to feel attractive to men. The difference is that women hate admitting that they like to feel attractive to men.

girlymcfemale: my questions aren't trolling (lycraspandex). i am a feminist, because i support equality between men and women. my questions are against misandry, female supremacy, and male-bashing. sorry if the truth is too much for you to bear. have a good one.