How soon is too soon to start dating after separation?

Question

I am separated from my husband 3 months and I have met some one who is everything that I want in a man, he's attentive, sensative, motivated, caring, fun, funny( makes me laugh all the time), we talk on the phone almost 3-4 times a day. So far he seems perfect ( I know, i know nobody is perfect) but he's pretty damn close. lol Sometimes I think we are clicking so fast but I'm loving every minute of it. He lives out of town so we don't see each other everyday but ...... i don't know i'm smitten. What should I do? No I have absolutely no intentions of reconciling with my husband....making plans as I speak to end it. Just seeking some opinions.....
And yes I know it's ultimately my decision.

Answer 1

Start dating as soon as you are ready and it sounds like you are ready! My advice though is take it easy, you are still on the rebound

Answer 2

Dating After Separation

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
How soon is too soon to start dating after separation?
I am separated from my husband 3 months and I have met some one who is everything that I want in a man, he's attentive, sensative, motivated, caring, fun, funny( makes me laugh all the time), we talk on the phone almost 3-4 times a day. So far he seems perfect ( I know, i know nobody is...

Answer 4

1-2 MONTHS FOR EVERY YEAR OF MARRIAGE in order for real healing to occur. You can date sooner and play the field some of course, and have little trouble... BUT, if the intent is to start a serious relationship (which this sounds like), you'll have very little real substance to offer someone as long as there is emotional baggage. This is why the 1st serious relationship following a divorce rarely works out-- the divorced person moved too quickly.

Most people have a lot of learning and healing to do prior to starting a relationship-- and then again, most people don't really know when they're ready, but are pushed into it by others (as noted in most answers here) or because they feel they should be out there in the action, before the lessons have been learned.

Remember, if the lessons aren't learned (i.e., what part did you play in the downfall of the marriage, what could you do differently next time, etc.), then you're doomed to repeat them in the next serious relationship.

Also remember, one reason for a higher divorce rate among 2nd and 3rd marriages is b/c the lessons weren't learned and the person's "picker (how you pick and who you pick)" is either broken of damaged.

Keep in mind that >90% of those who responded here have never been down this rode.

Hope this helps!

Answer 5

If you have any kids, I think it's wise that you sit down and talk to them first. See if they are comfortable with this change. Even if they say they're fine, pay attention to their non-verbal cues to see the truth of how they feel.

If you don't have any kids, then whenever you're comfortable with. Don't expect a serious relationship right away, and don't let your old habits of why you and your husband ended come through. It's important to take it slow. Dating is like riding a bicycle...I know you didn't forget how, but if it's been a while, it does take a few times to get the hang of it again. So, don't expect too much - but have fun. Enjoy your life again.

Answer 6

No- clean up this mess first. You don't need to add anymore to your life right now. You are not in a position to commit to a relationship. You are still married regardless of his nature. It's a great ego boost at this time for you but really you'll be best off spending this time getting out clean.

Answer 7

make sure you take the time for YOU... a separation and divorce is a BIG life change, and you need to take the time to readjust to life and even grieve.

it's hard to do that when The Rebound Guy comes along.

sure you like him! he's paying attention to you and making you feel loveable and wothwhile again...

i think dating is fine... anything more serious is dangerous... do you really have anything to GIVE EMOTIONALLY right now?

i wouldn't think so, considering the pending divorce.

perhaps you can do a search on RECOVERING FROM DIVORCE and also REBOUND RELATIONSHIPS.

take care of YOU FIRST.

all the best!

Answer 8

I would wonder if your soon to be ex-husband is dating, because if he is, I say definately start dating. I don't think it is necessary to wait until the divorce is final, though, unless you have some religious problem with something like that. Sounds to me like you are just getting to know this guy and that's okay.

Answer 9

Do you want your ex back, but they treat you as if you don't exist or don't matter? Has your ex told you that they will NEVER get back together with you, and have they said they don't love you anymore?

You see, if you want your ex back, but they are treating you indifferently, you need to do something outrageous! Yup, that may sound crazy, but trust me, it's the most powerful psychological trick which will make your ex regret breaking up with you!

Read on to find out how you can use this trick to your advantage...

Answer 10

Wait, are you divorced or separated? If you're legally no body's wife, then go ahead and start dating. If you're still legally married, then get divorced first. Mark Anthony was single only for 3 days (because 3 days after he divorced his wife who is also mother of his 3 children, he got married to J. Lo.). Good luck.

Answer 11

I would recommend not jumping into a relationship while you are separated or even newly divorced. You need some 'you' time, no men involved.