It seems like no matter what, they will never be happy. My Dad has always had a negative attitude in general. My Mom, or at least it seems, used to be happy, but now all she does is dwell on the past. There are solutions to most of their problems but I guess they would rather not make the effort. I understand that they are both depressed (I have dealt with it myself) but at a certain point, I think you need to take responsibility & try to do something about the things that are bothering you. For example, my Mom has been unhappy because we moved away 3 years ago. Now that they are moving to the same state, she keeps telling me that she's not going to be able to stand living so close to some of my Dad's other relatives. It's like, can't you ever be happy?! She's finally getting what she wanted so I don't understand! What do you make of it? And btw, they also make excuses not to go to therapy.
2007-08-01 09:15:50 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Sorry to hear about your Parents. For someone living in that kind of environment- you have a VERY good handle on the situation. Good for you! Keep it up... The Reality IS, your Parents need to help THEMSELVES... -They need to get their "acts" together & examine what it is to make their lives & marriage better. If they can't "be botherd" to help themselves, then nothing & no one is going to do it for them. YOUR "position"- is to keep THEIR problems at "arms length", & get on with your OWN life. -I KNOW that's not easy when you love two people... -But in a situation like this, you're "options" are limited. Hang in there- & good luck! :)
2007-08-01 09:34:13 · answer #1 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I had a similar thing happen...not the moving and all, but other issues that kept us apart. Children shouldn't ever feel responsible for making parents happy. It's the parents who have to decide that. They have to make a commitment to their marriage and decide it's worth it to them to change. With my husband and me it was also accepting eachother unconditionally and ourselves too unconditionally...it's a moment by moment change, but it made all the difference in our relationship.
You could try telling them how you feel, maybe ask to see someone who can help YOU sort through your own feelings, so you can move forward and let your parents worry about their own happiness. many hugs to you
2007-08-01 09:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jill S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Tell them to stop feeling sorry for themselves. All they're doing is letting themselves be sad b/c they're not determined enough to do something. Let them know how selfish they are being b/c you have to put up with their personal problems. Everything they do affects you. Tell them that. Besides, when you support each other everything should be ok. Just watch out for each other and be considerate. Good Luck!
2007-08-01 09:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by flor m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what to say.
If they're refusing the help, that's not going to do anything. It seems like they WANT to be miserable and they're too stubborn to admit it and get some help. Try your best to get them into therapy. If you can, help them solve their problems. Talk with them.
2007-08-01 09:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by nckmcgwn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i make of it is that she is just unsure of what she should do right now. My parents were in this same situation. There situation led to a divorce though
2007-08-01 09:20:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ann M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats too bad, don't be like them! they will never be happy because they are always thinking negative thoughts, and the law of attraction will keep bringing them more negativity.
change your thoughts change your world
2007-08-01 09:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its hard to realise we can't help our parents to chagne as we're all responsible for our own lives. just love and support them and get on with your own life. be there for them if they ever decide to face up to their problems.
2007-08-01 09:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah J 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋