My husband and i have been married 12 yrs but for the past yr he has been in iraq..A few weeks after he left i was feeling lonely so i called up his brother and we went out to a club..Well we went back to my place and 1 thing led to another and we had sex..Well i ended the affair about a month ago after 10 months and now 2 weeks ago i found out i am 2 months pregnant..His brother is also married but his wife was out of town that first night we had sex..I have no idea what to do..Should i abort the baby and never tell my husband about the affair?
2007-08-01 08:49:04 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband will be coming home by the end of summer.
2007-08-01 09:04:24 · update #1
Do whatever you want. You obviously didnt care about anyone's opinion before this happened to you. So why should you now?
You made your bed. Lie in it.
2007-08-01 08:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well ....... I'm not going to tell you how bad you fu**ed up everyone else already has. I understand you being lonely but that is no reason to cheat and with his brother no less. You should have went and got a dildo or something. I think you should tell him when he comes home and that you should keep the child your actions are not it's fault. The term sleeping in the bed that you make comes to mind for you and his brother. You both have made things very hard for yourselves. There is a long road ahead for you and it is going to b rough no matter what you decide to do. If you don't come out with it it will haunt you the rest of your life. You have already made one bad decision don't let the ones you make now turn out the same way. Good luck
2007-08-01 09:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a chance that the baby could be your husbands. Hopefully it will be. You should not tell your husband about the affair as the baby could be his. If the baby does turn out to be your brother-in-laws then you should never tell anyone. You could end up with alot of problems and then your husband could end the marriage. I have known woman who have had affairs and ended up pregnant and their husbands never did find out that the babies were not theirs.
2016-04-01 08:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! 12 years married and you got lonely after him being gone a mere 2 months? you're no babe-in-the-woods! unfortunately, you have involved at least 5 ppl (not to mention any kids on either side!) and one -the one you carry- has no voice, no vote! i'm not judging you as i've been judged enough myself and i know i don't like it. i would say, however, you ought to tell the truth... to everybody. the sooner the better and just let the chips fall where they may. over 10 months someone has seen the 2 of you together and did the math, this will come out soon enough. i only hope your husband doesn't kill himself -or his brother or you!- over this. this one seemingly innocent event will impact upon many lives... and you are it's author! good luck!
2007-08-01 09:19:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you'd better tell him and let him decide if he can stand to be with you anymore. don't even try to cover it up because the truth always comes out. About aborting the baby that is on your conscience. If it makes you feel better for yet another person to suffer because of your lack of self control then have at it. Seriously how can you even try to justify this. Oh poor you you were lonely. You don't think your husband was lonely in Iraq???????? What about his brother's wife? why was it ok to do this to her? let me guess it wasn't enough to ruin your own marriage you had to take down another one with it. I can't imagine being in your shoes but if I was I would be completely honest with everyone involved and beg for forgiveness. Then I would accept that they probably couldn't forgive me and I would move on with my life and take care of my child because I was not only dumb enough to have the affair but also to dumb to use birth control. your poor husband now gets to come home and find out that he has no one in his life that he can really trust
2007-08-01 09:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You asked...."Should I abort the baby and never tell my husband?"
Aborting the pregnancy is a decision you and your husband will have to make. I recommend being honest with your husband. Even if you did decide to have an abortion and not tell your husband...I'm almost sure he will find out some way! BE HONEST!! Even if that means he will not want to be with you anymore...
No need to tell you how horrible of a thing you did to your husband because I'm sure you already know.
2007-08-01 09:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by purplebee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless what you decide to do with the baby and whether or not you tell your husband your relationship will NEVER be the same. There is no easy answer to this question but I think that you are a very underhanded person. First to sleep with your brother in law but then to take a life simply to cover your tracks is despicable.
2007-08-01 09:18:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me see, your husband is overseas serving our nation and you show your support by banging his brother... You respect your marital vows and those of your husbands brother so much that you ask his brother to come knock the bottom out just until his brother gets home. You have killed your marriage, your bother in laws marriage, the relationship they have and now you want to know if you can kill the baby? Regardless if you abort the baby or not, you will get caught in this web of lies, deceit and destruction. I feel so sorry for your husband and his brothers wife...
2007-08-01 09:47:40 · answer #8 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a decision only you can make. If I was you, I'd 'fess up and take the consequences. A very understanding spouse might be forgiving. Then again - you should know how he'll react after having been his wife for twelve years. Let that be your guide.
2007-08-01 10:04:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what you want with the baby - but your husband has the RIGHT to decide if he wants to stay with an adulterer or not, and you will not be able to look him in the eyes the rest of your life knowing you have such a dark secret...the guilt will eat you alive.
Shame on you, by the way...for potentially destroying three people, your unborn child, your husband, his wife - and more people if they have children, thousands of military spouses stay faithful - the fact he is in Iraq was no excuse for you to be so selfish.
2007-08-01 08:56:29 · answer #10 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Please consider this thought...'Abortion is the deliberate murder of an unborn child'.....don't even consider it as it will give you guilt feelings the rest of your life. Two wrongs do not make it right...Have the baby and either keep it (with the permission of your husband).. OR.. give it up for adoption. Those are the only two moral options.
2007-08-01 09:21:28 · answer #11 · answered by The thought provoker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋