Help preg with 4th child, husband had vesectomy!?

Question

Just found out iam preg with 4th child. i am only 24 and my husband had a vesectomy 2 yrs ago. i havent been on BC since his vesctomy. I am afraid to tell him because i think he will think i was cheating on him.( by the way i have been with him 7 yrs and never cheated) I dont know how to tell him!! I dont want another child that is why he had surgery but I made my bed I got to lay in it. Dont think hes gonna feel the same way. has anyone else got preg with a man who had a vesectomy?

Thanks for all ur help u guys. I was freaking out. Last night i was in walgreens and i seen a male fertility kit. Didn't even know they make them, well i told him everthing and them i handed him the kit and u guessed it he is still fertile!! Well at least know there is no acusations of anything. I still cant believer it. Iam gonna call Urology today!! Hes very upsat that he went through all that for nothing. Mabe this time ill just get tied!! THANK YOU

Answer 1

You're going to have to tell him, "Honey... might want your money back on that vesectomy..."

I mean, you can't hide this.

Is there any reason he might have to think you've cheated? If he trusts you, I don't think you'll have a big problem here.

All he has to do is go back to the urologist, get his sperm count checked, maybe an ultrasound, and see what happened. These things DO re-attach sometimes (rare, but it happens).

As for what to do... can you try to feel happy? I know you didn't want more kids, but really... is there a lot of difference between 3 and 4? Big families can be great-- a lot of love. And you're still young... not like this is horrible timing (like if you were 45 or something and all your kids were grown).

I'd try to get excited about it. Your other kids can help out. You'll have hand-me-downs. Try to think of this as a gift from God that maybe you don't understand quite yet. :)

Answer 2

First relax, try not 2 b stressed, take deep breaths..... now no really knows how he's going 2 react, but I do believe you maybe correct on his reactions. Yes the bed has been made, but it doesn't have 2 b lumpy when you lay in it.(smile) You must talk 2 him as soon as u can, don't wait: If you've been with him 7 years he knows you( trust, and honesty) also play a big part her. I say he knows your well enough 2 know u didn't cheat. He had a vasectomy 2yrs ago, nothing is 100% things happen 4 a reason as you can see. Relax, be calm, you must tell him,. Good luck

Answer 3

I have heard of this happening. Sometimes vasectomies fail... it happens - you're not the first to go through this. In some cases, men who are considered to have had a successful vasectomy still have a sperm count - low but there and as we all know it only takes one. Also, sometimes the vas spontaneously reconnect, meaning the vasectomy was a failure. It's rare but it DOES happen.

I can understand why you're afraid to tell your husband, so ask your doctor beforehand if he'll talk to your husband and then tell him right there in the doctor's office you're pregnant. If you have an understanding doctor he won't mind... plus the doc will be able to give your husband all the medical facts on why these things happen.

Or you can tell your husband yourself, but before he starts bombard him with medical facts yourself. Do a search on google for "vasectomy failure". I found these sites for you and it's very informative:

http://www.alanguttmacher.org/pubs/journals/3004604.html
http://www.fhi.org/en/RH/Pubs/Briefs/VasTech.htm
http://www.uhmc.sunysb.edu/urology/male_infertility/NSV.html

Print the articles out and go through them, highlighting the parts where they talk about vasectomies failing.

I hope this helps a bit and good luck!

PS. In the UK there are a number of cases where ppl who had failed vasectomies successfully sued the doctors who performed the operations for thousands!!

Answer 4

I haven't, but I know it can happen. Vasectomies are about the best form of birth control, but even they aren't perfect.

My friend is a doctor and she had a patient whose husband had a V, and she had her tubes tied. They wanted to be very sure it didn't happen again. But it did! So those procedures definitely aren't foolproof.

Maybe you can get some information from your doctor on the failure rate and the reasons why the procedure might fail. If you can give that to your husband, maybe it will lessen the blow and make him understand how it could have happened.

Answer 5

if you didn't cheat, it has to be his ! and having a vesectomy doesn't mean anything, because there's still LIVE sperm there, they just can't leave but there may have been a way ! congrats, and just sit down and tell him what was just said. Congrats !! :]

Some guys have that done and then get divorced and wantsto have a kid withere there new girl so theres a procedure where they go in and get live sperm and then put it in her so there's live sperm, it's his if you haven't cheated!

Answer 6

It is possible. Just tell him you have nothing to be afraid of since you didn't cheat on him. He should go his doctor because the procedure obviously didn't take. Not all procedures are 100% some women get pregnant after tubals so its possible for men to see get women pregnant after a V. Good luck

Answer 7

Well either way you have to tell him and I would go back to this doctor that performed the surgery and have it out with him! Did they give you the statistics of possibly getting preg after??? I would have had my tubes tied ontop of it just to make sure. You can never be too careful!!

Answer 8

I have heard of it happening many times. You are not the first for this to happen to. Your husband must realize this too. Have him go to the doctor and have them redue it, and them make sure he's tested before not using birth control again. If you didn't want a 4th, you'll for sure not want a 5th. Good luck with everything, and I'm sure you'll love your 4th as well as the rest!

Answer 9

DId he go back for his follow up from the vasectomy alot of men make that mistake and don't go to the follow up appt and it didnt work so they have the chance of getting someone pregnant. Just tell your husband if he thinks you cheated on him send him the the doctor to test his sperm. hope this helps.

Answer 10

If you are telling the truth here then you have nothing to worry about. Tell him you're pregnant and that his vasectomy didn't take. Tell him you are more than happy to get a DNA test if he is a jerk about it. Send him to the doctor to get tested and have the doctor explain to him how this can happen.