Do you like my poem?

Question

Sometimes,
I feel like all the paper in the world,
Could not express how I feel.

Others,
I feel like my dull emotions,
Could hardly fill a page.

Sometimes,
I feel as if I know exactly who I am,
And everything fits in place.

Others,
I feel as if I am somebody else,
And I can’t fit in my own skin.

Sometimes,
The world seems to be such a happy place,
Where I can achieve my dreams.

Others,
I wonder how people could be so horrible,
And where I stand on the issue of humanity.

Sometimes,
I know exactly what I want,
And feel as if I can get it.

Others,
Everything feels so out of reach,
I wonder why I bother trying.

Sometimes,
Joy is the only thing I can feel,
And smiling is the only thing I can do.

Others,
Sadness envelopes me for no reason,
And mysterious tears fall.

Sometimes,
I am grateful for who I am,
And what I feel.

Others,
I wish I was immune to the pain of life,
And that I was somebody else.

Sometimes,
I am glad that I think too much,
To realize that without the tears there is no laughter.

Others,
The words seem hollow,
And I wonder how I could be so happy in this hard world.

Sometimes,
The battles inside of me seem normal,
And I think I can conquer them.

Sometimes,
I am happy with who I am,
And what I hope to become.

Sometimes,
I wonder which is larger,
The sometimes in life or the others.

I hope it is the sometimes,
Because I know that happiness,
Lies in the sometimes of the world.

And the others,
Are just there to make up for when,
The next joys of sometimes are still on their way.

Sometimes,
I wonder if I’m crazy,
But then I smile.

Because sometimes I think craziness is just fine.

Answer 1

I think it's ridiculous... what the hell?

Answer 2

Not bad! I'd reformat though to keep it from looking like a grocery list. I like the play back and forth, and I understand that near the end you wanted to stress how you see more "sometimes" than "others", but it comes across incomplete. I think your ending provides the perspective without the "sometimes" stanzas stacked back to back.

I also think you need to look at this one again:

"I wonder how people could be so horrible,
And where I stand on the issue of humanity."

Why? Because the second line does not seem connected to the first...how is your inability to decide where you stand on "humanity" make you "so horrible"? It doesn't...and that's why it doesn't fit there.

Otherwise, well done!

Keep writing

Answer 3

7/10

Answer 4

Well it looks good but it would be great if you can combine some of the paragrphs together because you are kinda repeating some of the things in the poem. Otherwise for me 4/5 rating. Keep up the work.

Answer 5

I like the form. I would just like to have seem rhyme. I would like to see the last lines of the stanzas for an abab type rhyme pattern. I would also like to see you keep the alternate "sometimes ... others" form instead of altering it there at the end. I love the very last line; it's a real zinger.

Gold starred.

Answer 6

I like it! I think it expresses gow I feel as well, but I think u could have combined some of it into paragraphs.

Answer 7

It looks like a positive/negative type poem. Sounds like you put a lot of thought into it.

Answer 8

It's pretty straightforward. I think a poem should be more than just saying something.

Answer 9

It's too back and forth. Needs resolution

Answer 10

Very nice counterpoint, cool!

Answer 11

don't listen to that Jessica R girl, your poem is great! it expresses your feelings, and it has thousands of meanings to say for each and every word of your poem.