What should i call this poem?? PLEASE HELP!!?

Question

If you think trouble is a cat in a tree
And the worst pain of all is the sting of a bee
If you think a problem is a broken nail
If an ordeal is a letter lost in the mail
If tradgedy is you missed the bus
If an unruly rooms causes out-of-hand fuss
If a rip-off is buying overpriced shoes
Then this is going to be way more than news.

Getting sick can be more than a cough
A switch can mean more than to turn on or off
Starving may not be quite what you think
A cold glass of water may not be a drink
Sometimes our messes get a bit out of hand
And grow into issues beyond our command
What a child calls a crush may rise above
And change from, "I like you" to a thing called, "love"
Not everything is what it may seem
Be prepared for surprises when you wake from your dream

P.S.
i'm 11 and this poem was inspired by my mom's close friend who has non-hopkins lymphoma

how about, "God's wake-up call"
or
"Life's wake-up call"?

Answer 1

I really liked your poem. You did a good job. I also liked either of those titles, as well.

Answer 2

I don't lie to people so believe me when I say that your poem is much better than some of the college level material that I have read. You should really nuture your gift and take some creative writing and poetry classes. Name it whatever you think feels right. One thing I would do though is add the word "that" to If tradgedy is you missed the buss. I think it should read, if tragedy is that you missed the bus. Also add "just" before news in the last sentance of the first stanza. I would also add "just" to the first line in the second stanza before a cough. Sorry i just feel it would be more effectual and i think it would help it flow better. You could entitle it things are not always what they seem.
Or just simply "Reality".

Answer 3

Your revision is far better than your original, well done. Still one typo though..."tragedy", not "tradgedy" :)

Since you're telling someone that what they think is "bad" or a "tragedy" is not as bad as they think, that their health is worth more than gold, you have a few options.

One would be to call it "perspective", giving it neither a lighthearted feel nor a too somber feel...another would be to spin it light and call it "It could be worse", but since the one who inspired it was such a serious illness...well, it might be a little "too light". Another option is to take the approach that we should be "thankful" for what we have instead of stressing over life's problems.

"Be Thankful"
"Thankful"
"Perspective"
"It Could Be Worse"
"Not What You Thought"

just some ideas. Again...nice job on the editing.

Answer 4

That's a good poem. I hope your mom's friend is doing okay--lots of people go into remission for a long time--I hope she's one of those people.

Your ideas are good. I might also suggest "Surprises" or "Not Everything Is What It May Seem" or "When You Wake From your Dream" because those are all things you wrote near the end of your poem.

Answer 5

I'm 11 too and you honestly have great talent. I wish half of my grade was deep enough to even THINK that, none the less put it into poetry. I suggest maybe, "The Unknown World, the Real World" I dunno, Because in the first paragraph its what people think the world is, and the second paragraph is the real world, that hardly anyone know about. Good luck.

Answer 6

Life at the End of Dreams

Answer 7

"Life's Dilemma". I recon....Because in your such a nice poem you have shown the life from many different but dark sides which people normally never think on or try to see untill they themselves experience it.

Answer 8

you're 11? this is one of the 2 best poems ive seen here. i am truly amazed. Perspective.

Answer 9

The Sting of a Bee

p.s. truly good poetry, keep at it! This is good enuf to publish.

Answer 10

Thats a real good piece of work!!
How about "reality's wake-up call"?
Your titles are pretty good too!