cant afford the lawyers fee,my ex has and makes great money and can pay top dollar?

Question

my mother started the mess in hopes of gaining my daughter. the courts placed my then 6yr old w/ex until i went through parenting class. (my mother never agreed with my parenting) thats what started the mess. my daughter loves her father and wants to visit him often, she wants me to be the custdial parent so she has options on visits. we live 8 min away from each other and hates that her dad controls visits and doesnt follow the court guidlines. she is going on 12.what can i do?

Answer 1

If you cannot find a lawyer, you have to represent yourself.

Let your child do the talking -- the child can get emotional about what she wants, and what your ex is doing, and that emotion will matter to the court.

You need to stay calm and focused and not get emotional -- because you getting emotional while representing yourself will hurt your case.

Answer 2

Children have a say in court about the time they are teenagers. You want to find out the guidelines for your state. Many states will switch custody if the custodial parent does not follow the court guidelines when it comes to visitation. Some states allow you to tape phone conversations without the other person's knowledge. It can be a crime in other states. So you want to ask a lawyer about this as well. You could also videotape the exchanges that do not occur. Make sure that you have a time and date stamp on your camera. You could send e-mails that you will be picking up your daughter and when she isn't released, you can send e-mails asking what happened and mentioning that this is the hundredth time this has occurred. If you think it would help him comply with the visitation schedule, you could let him know that you are going to file for custody if he doesn't and you are going to be documenting that it doesn't. You want evidence that he doesn't follow the court guidelines, so you need to at least keep a date book or journal detailing everything that hasn't happened.

You can call law lines that are sponsored by television stations. Or you can call the court system and ask when it offers pro bono family consultations. Sometimes you can get free assistance from a court district other than your own. We have all of this in my city. Ask the lawyers when your daughter can have a say in court. It may pay to wait the year or so until she does. You can represent yourself in court. In this case, you will want to read every book possible on the subject and also read custody case files from the court in which your case will be heard. Just ask the clerk for them.

You probably want to have the court assign a guardian ad litem for your child. This person will examine both households and make a recommendation to the court as to what is in your child's best interest. You will want to give the guardian ad litem a copy of your evidence that he doesn't comply with the court order.

There are things that you posted that go against you. Your husband can afford a good lifestyle for your daughter. You state that the court placed your daughter with your ex until you went through parenting classes. Parenting classes don't usually run six years, so there will be a question as to why you didn't get your daughter back during those intervening years.

Answer 3

Sounds like your mother is may be a control freak. Could she possibly have started the mess with your ex as well? It seems your mother lives with you. Do you realize how often this sort of thing happens. Now that your mom does not want to cooperate she may have exactly what she wants. Just you.

Answer 4

Unfortunately there is no way around this, you must have a attorney who is experienced in family law assist you. There are times in everyone's life when you must turn to a professional, like for surgery or dentistry, this is one of those times.

You may be able to qualify for some type of legal aid, you should call a local bar association to get the phone number of a legal aid organization in your area. If you cannot qualify for legal aid because of your salary, you may be able to find a lawyer who will take payments. Some law schools offer low cost clinics that may be able to help you. This is just not a do-it-yourself issue.

Answer 5

if the court guidelines and/or orders are being violated, then you need to go back to court. ask your attorney to request that the judge speak to the 12 year (and attorney) in chambers. he can speak to her to see what her wishes are...she is old enough to make that call now.

good luck :)

Answer 6

wow, another example of why i dont live in the USSA. Unfortunately you have to go by the rules. My best advice is to reconcile with spouse about this and get the GOVERMENT out.