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If my son told me he was gay I would beat the crap out of anyone who put him down. I don't get how any father could do that. I know a guy who did this very thing, but he had a dog that bit a kid, and he defended that stupid dog to the death. Explain it to me sensibly? like not 'cos its wrong and disgusting' cos ive known sons that go to prison for murder and when they come out of jail their dads still love them.

2007-08-01 05:28:00 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

27 answers

I find it a shame and a disgrace, that someone can let their own prejudices cloud their judgement so much that they push away the person that they should keep closest. Don't get me wrong sexuality is a difficult thing from a generational, social and cultural point of view for everyone to be of 'one mind' on. However to cut your own flesh and blood out of your life permanently for it - is nothing short of criminal!

2007-08-01 09:48:57 · answer #1 · answered by waggy 6 · 1 0

It’s interesting how I just answered a question about male chauvinism and here we are; another attitude question. We live in a society of hyper masculinity where the image of the Marlboro man, the All-Star Athlete belonging to whichever team you are cheering for are considered to be the ideal. Anything outside of that image is deemed unacceptable and feminine. And certainly being gay is outside of that image and mentality as the stereotype men do not display affection toward one other.

Your acquaintance may be protecting his own image of masculinity and unfortunately his son is the sacrifice that he is willing to make to justify his masculinity. To me, defending his dog who bit a kid may show his conviction but it does not necessarily show his masculinity. And certainly, it does not make any sense that he would rather defend his dog rather his son which is another discussion all together.

Many are quick to label this homophobic. Yes, I do agree that this gesture is very homophobic but isn’t homophobia just another symptom of a dysfunctional society? I don’t agree with the action but unfortunately unless we are there, we do not realize the depth and scope of the situation this poor gay kid and his father went through.

There is no easy answer. There is no way that we can have a quick explanation of why people behave the way they do. We are a product of our experience and conviction. The best thing is to live and let live. I hope the kid who was thrown out has some resources available to him. The local Gay/Lesbian Centers should have some resources available to him. Perhaps suggest a P-FLAG meeting for the father if and when he is ready. Good luck!

2007-08-01 05:51:29 · answer #2 · answered by Tom W 4 · 3 1

There are fathers and there are sperm donors.

It's usually all in how the father himself was raised. There was a great episode on that TV series couple years ago about people dying and then getting second chances to make good (I forget the name of the program), where a boy learned that the reason his dad was such a tyrant was that his own dad was a big fat jerk. Men raised without love usually never learn to show it toward anyone else. Very sad.

2007-08-01 05:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2 1

Any "man" that would worry more about appearances than his own son is not a "man" at all. He's a worthless, weak-minded piece of trash. A real man is someone that protects and supports those he loves, and stands up for those that are under attack, not someone that worries about what his bar buddies think and tries to impress other weak-minded idiots by degrading and humiliating others. It's very encouraging to hear others that believe similarly.

2007-08-01 06:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by kena2mi 4 · 5 0

I think fathers that disown their sons for being gay are afraid that it is a reflection on themselves. They may think, Where did I go wrong? I didn't raise my son to be a sissy. I raised him to be a man.
Some fathers might also be ridiculously religious and think that their son is sinning by being gay.

There are probably a lot excuses why a dad disowns his own son for being gay. I personally don't think that any excuse is justified. Your kids are your kids and they must be loved unconditionally.

2007-08-01 05:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by sydney77 6 · 2 1

am not sure to be hones I know that when I was expecting my kids their dad VERY clearly told me that IF they turned out to be gay then it would have HAD to have come from my side of the family, as they don't have gays from their culture.

I said to him that he had to be joking and that after loving a child for years and years he would turn his back on them and he said YES with ease he would.

I think for some men it is a reflection on their own sense of manhood etc etc........and this causes the biter reaction they do find out about their own child..........

My brother is some what like this and I think this might get interesting as his son gets older as I am pretty sure the boy is going to be a lala when he is older...........what ever happens he will always be my nephew I am just not so sure about how my brother will take it.

and you are right if you truly love your child you might NOT like what they do or their crimes or whatever, they are still your babies and you love them always
regards

2007-08-01 05:35:51 · answer #6 · answered by candy g 7 · 1 1

That shows the difference between a father that loves his son and a father that loves himself.

♂♂

... and yes, the George Straight song is 100% correct.

2007-08-01 05:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 3 2

What's just as sad is when wimpy moms stand back and don't say anything. My stepdaughter's friend came out when he was 16, and his stepdad through him out and sniveling mom let him. Then their younger son tried to boink my stepdaughter in her bedroom after prom just to show that HE wasn't gay!

2007-08-01 05:55:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

It's a pride thing that he somehow failed as a father that I think makes him disown his son. It's stupid and ridiculous... my best friend's parents took him to counseling when they found out he was gay. You know what the counselor told him? "You are fine, I do believe I need to make an appointment with your parents though." I laughed so hard when he told me that. My dad didn't exactly disown me when I came out to him, but we aren't close at all, and honestly I think me coming out to him is part of that wedge. Granted he lives out of state and travels for work, but rarely keeps contact with me. I bet though he talks to my sister... *shrugs* in the end if someone severs ties with you because of your sexuality, it's their loss, not yours, that's what I realized. :)

2007-08-01 05:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jyse 6 · 6 3

Because they are ashamed of them for some reason...But that is very good of you to protect your son if anyone put him down...

2007-08-01 05:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by Mama Bear 3 · 2 1

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