I have a friend in a long term relationship (7 years) and he is miserable because the spark is gone. I thought that when you pass some years together, being in love becomes real love, you can get to eachothers nerves, but since you love eachother you are content and happy. BUT, if one stopped loving the other, that is when a person gets miserable, both of them of course, but mostly the one that still loves but doesn't get the love back. So, if I am correct, if my friend is miserable after 7 years, she must've stopped loving him. Or???
2007-08-01 04:55:50 · 9 answers · asked by stargazer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO!!!
People are usually miserable because they think they deserve more out of like and nothing is ever enough.
People choose to be miserable, by letting their "wants" rule their life.
A millionaire that wants something that cost a million and one dollars is poor, but a man with a single dollar and wants nothing is rich. This also goes for happiness. If you choose to focus on what you don't have you will naturally feel like crap.
2007-08-01 05:41:50 · answer #1 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All relationships married or living together have a true test at about 7 years. People act differently toward each other and basically fall in a routine with no more spark. That's why there is that expression 7 year etch. Best thing fir them is to try and make the relationship more exiting and change many of there habits. Separating and going there one whey is easier they are not married hopefully no kids involved.
2007-08-01 12:06:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is alot of work! You simply get tired of being with the same person day in and day out...That's why when you get into a relationship for looks alone, chances are it won't last! And way too many people, especially men do this! People confuse lust for love and once that lust is gone, so is the so called love...When your with someone for so long, looks mean nothing really, you get sick of looking at the same person everyday. Therefore things fall apart. It's very important to look past looks when your looking to spend your life with someone. Of course you should find someone your attracted to, but personality is sooo much more meaningful. When your personality clicks with the person you love, then deeper love will follow! And when you pick someone with a great personality over looks...It's bound to be a more fulfilling relationship! Looks will get boring over time but someone who can keep things interesting with a great personality will surely keep your attention!
2007-08-01 12:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by ♫☆ Y!A Princessღ ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a LOT of things that could be going on here. Her not being in love anymore could be one of them. Or maybe she is having depression problems. Or maybe he is not doing his duties as a husband. Or maybe they have both just changed. Or maybe one of them is cheating. Or, likely, some combination of the above mixed with the fact that they both have not put in the effort to keep that spark alive. It doesn't happen by itself. It takes work, from both parties involved. If she is interesting in continuing this relationship, then they both should seek professional marriage counseling. If not, then it is probably time to part ways. It happens.
2007-08-01 12:01:18 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it is that simple, i was in a relationship where we were different, and after a while the whole opposites attract thing got old and we just got on each others nerves, stick with similar people (interest, personalities)
2007-08-01 12:00:22 · answer #5 · answered by chris h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he musta have changed something, the way he treats her, the things they used to do, something caused her to stop loving him. It's very hard to fall out of love. Most of the time even years after the relationship has ended, but the thing u miss the most is the way things USED TO BE. something has changed
2007-08-01 12:01:50 · answer #6 · answered by T Jae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have stopped putting effort into showing the love she has. This is a common problem in marriage. We settle into ruts and slow down the efforts to show love to our spouses. Every marriage has phases and ruts, but we need to remind ourselves of the place that our spouses hold in our lives. Is my spouse more important than my hobbies, my job, my personal habits, etc.?
2007-08-01 12:03:27 · answer #7 · answered by Bob T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is work!! You make a decision to love the other.
It don't matter how long you've been married, you can rekindle that spark, but it takes work..maybe even counseling .
2007-08-01 11:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change.
Sometime what you once thought was what you waited a lifetime to find, you realize after several years how you can't wait to get away from what you wished for to begin with.
2007-08-01 12:03:56 · answer #9 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋