We are getting married soon and I have never orgasmed with him... I don't think it is his fault, I think it is my sex drive. I don't want it to be like this forever, how do I tell him. He is going to be crushed...
2007-08-01 04:05:55 · 9 answers · asked by Kristen 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I would definitely address this problem you're having, you might rephrase what you're going to say. It would be pretty difficult to stay married feeling you can't climax. You don't want to live with this secret, it wouldn't be fair to either one of you.
I would suggest seeing a counselor before you set a date.
2007-08-02 17:46:50 · answer #1 · answered by Fraulein 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him now, gently and directly. Have you ever come with any other man? If no, this is wonderful and a joy, because in this case, you really are a virgin and your fiance will now have the wonderful pleasure of watching you orgasm for the very first time in your life b/c of him!!!! Throw out penile penetration. He's going to need to go down on you and you're going to need to let him. Show him how you masturbate, show him, tell him what works for you, if you know. He might not be crushed, b/c most if not all women CANNOT and DO NOT come from penetration alone. It does NOTHING (well, maybe not nothing...lol) for us, no matter how big, or beautiful or well-used their penises are. What a wonderful problem to have, and to get to solve together!!! Go find that g spot, you two! You should try a bit of damiana cordial and a conversation with a really orgasmic girlfriend, as well.
2007-08-01 11:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by calyx156 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you shouldn't tell him, but instead start being honest about exploring what works for you. You can explore new things without coming out and saying, "that never really did it for me."
You mention you think your sex drive is low. Are you on the pill? For some women, the pill kills the libido. It doesn't happen right away (sometimes after 5 months or so), so it's easy not to make the connection. This has received recent publicity, but lots of women don't realize this could be affecting them.
2007-08-01 11:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by christnp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as I hate to advocate lying I think I would definitely lie about the time frame...I'd probably tell him that you have not been able to climax recently and didn't want him to feel like less of a man because he couldn't get you there but you didn't want to get married with this "secret" between you. Not knowing what your sex life is like, I can't really offer much advice..however if my wife told me she was unable to climax I take that as a challenge and will try everything and anything I can think of to make it happen...that way she will look forward to sex and in the end YAY for me! I'd be getting more of it. Good Luck
2007-08-01 11:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by John M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but you've been very stupid. All you've done by pandering to your paranoia and faking orgasm is give your fiance the wrong idea about what you like and what gets you going.
Can you honestly spend the rest of your life with this man knowing that you're lying to him, deceiving him about the quality of your sex life and denying yourself real pleasure? You've got to come clean with him. After five years I'd say he's going to take it pretty bloody hard but you've brought it on yourself.
2007-08-01 11:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by Spazzcat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him, really... just tell him "honey, lately somethings wrong with me... I haven't being orgasming like I used to... not because of you, but there's just a problem", and then talk about it... I'm telling you, this is the best approach...
2007-08-01 11:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Truth hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why tell him?
I don't see the purpose in hurting him. I would see my doctor, and definitely don't fake anymore. That is a bad way to start a marriage.
2007-08-01 11:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by mel s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you shouldn't tell him exactly, but try to "experiment" and when you find something that works for you just tell him how much more you enjoy that.
2007-08-01 11:11:38 · answer #8 · answered by miss_sass_e_cat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh well i dont know much but i can considre going to a thearipist
2007-08-01 11:10:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋