To controlling and and to many mind games?

Question

here is how i see it from a friends point of view :She has two kids ,her husband controlling ,she is so afraid of him she won't leave cause he has threatin to kill himself and or take one of the boys ,WHAT can i do to help her get out of this realtionship SAFELY ,and also make her see how this actually is affecting her oldest son.PLEASE HELP AND GIVE ADVICE.

Answer 1

Provide your home as a safe place. When a woman is in physical danger she most often is removed for that situation until he can get help. So offer to be that safe place. Past that though - the rest if up to her. You can't offer advice where it isn't wanted.

Answer 2

First know this: Until your friend wants to help herself it doesn't't matter what you do or say to her, it won't work.

When she is ready you will know, if she comes to you. Make sure you have done your research to provide some helpful information for her. She will need a safe place too go to for a while and I wouldn't suggest your home. It would be to easy for him to find her there if you two are close friends. The only thing you can do at this point is to continue to be there for her and listen. Keep telling her that can get away and she doesn' t have to live that way. I speak from experience and it does get better for some of us.

Make sure to document all incidents that happen no matter what. Dates and times included.

Be smart and be safe!

Answer 3

Im sortof in a situation like that. Just tell her to act happy for a day or 2 then take the kids with her to the "grocery store" and dont go back. Go to a relatives house and then get a lawyer. Tell her to get some of her stuff the not so much noticable stuff and put it in her trunk then have the police go with her to get her other belongings and tell her to file custody with her lawyer until the court date and see whats determined then.

Answer 4

Look for abused womens shelters. They have people trained in helping people like this. Also, if that azzhole is threatening to kill himslef, all the more reason for her to leave him, what a looser. It is all about control, and he has the power as long as she lets him.

Answer 5

Yes, she has to do it -- make the final decision. But, you can help. Make sure she takes both kids & goes to a battered womans' shelter or similar respite. They can help tremendously. And if he he kills himself...well, problem solved! (He won't; it's just more control thru emotional manipulation).

Answer 6

theres only one thing for her to do and she has to make this decision by taking the kids and go. no mother should allow her son to be around a man like that.becuase if he sees what his dad does he going to do the same to a women. so leave and be done with him.
Good Luck

Answer 7

the confusion comes with the search you are right, no body fully understands this thing called life, only from their own perspective we need to be more accepting, and live a life that we are content with too much information, too little understood

Answer 8

tough situation. i have a friend who was in a similar situation. we talked and talked. i even yelled at her. all to no avail. she had to do it on her own which,thankfully, she finally did.i think she secretly thought that he would actually change. she figured out that he won't. all you can do is listen when your friend needs to vent and offer to help if she needs it but that's about it. she has to wake up on her own.

Answer 9

talk to her about it, and let her know her options first, you better have a good game plan ready, if he is dangerous you need to have everything planned out, also, tell her about it, unless you call the cops on him for her, but he will probably just come out and kick her butt again. sorry.

Answer 10

she really needs to call the abuse shelter in the book and go there with her kids...he wont be able to find her...she should take all important documents with her..