i suffer too much trying to prevent having an affiar with him..but im too afraid to be hurt even more and humiliated if the wife enters the scene...help..i need help...only sincere answers pls...
2007-08-01 03:56:18 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they've been married for two years...no kids...wife is away for more than a year now because of work...and no he doesnt go home to have sex with his wife every night.. thanks..i really appreciate your answers..
2007-08-01 04:41:34 · update #1
Darling, hes married. Its easy for me to say because im not all whirled up in the situation. But im sure the answer is obvious to you aswell. If you just sit down and sort through all your emotions, im sure you will come to the right answer. If he doesn't get a divorce, i suggest you be the one to leave. I wouldnt put my reputation or my honor on the line for someone who is married and i suggest you dont either. Remember your worth.
2007-08-01 04:12:57 · answer #1 · answered by Angelita Amante 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in your same situation girl. And yes, it does get ugly when the wife finds out. And yes, people do point their finger at you and call you homewrecker and stuff. But the only thing that matters is what you 2 feel, nobody can know that for sure so you're the only people who can make decisions on this drama.
However, you really have to be honest to yourself and confess what you mean by "he shows me that he loves me too"......... anyone can say "I love you", very few people can actually live up to it. What has he done, and what does he do everyday to SHOW you that he loves you for real?? Does he go back home to sleep with the wife every night?? Does he put you at the end of his priority list?? Does he give you only the little time he has left after he has "fulfilled" the rest of his responsibilities (wife, kids, work)? If such is the case, then he doesn't love you, I am sorry to tell you. When someone loves you you're the first thing in their life, as selfish as that may sound. If he says he loves you but does nothing to solve his current legal situation, then he's just lying and playing. You have to stand up for yourself and demand what you deserve: the first place in his life, if what he says about his feelings is true.. If not, believe me, it's really better to walk away. Pushing doesn't work -- they won't do anything they don't want to. If he wants to be with you, he'll do whatever it takes to achieve it. If he doesn't do a damn, don't waste your time anymore and move on..... good luck.
2007-08-01 04:14:39 · answer #2 · answered by Lprod 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking? You know what is right because your heart has already convicted you. Why do you fear the pain and humiliation of a scorned wife? You know that you yourself are agonizing mentally about this all the time. If he doesn't have children then whats stopping him from leaving his wife and if he does then you know you will rob those kids of a father they desperately need. What's the matter with you sweetie? Step away and let the heartache begin. It will only be momentary but not eternal and in the end will make you a stronger woman. If you walk away now you will be able to sleep at night knowing that you are guiltless. This man does not love you he needs you to boost his ego. He is a sinner and has dragged you on a slow ride to guilt hell. I will pray for you that you can have the stregnth to do the right thing and that you can find pure love. God Bless you and take care.
2007-08-01 04:16:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One needs to ask if you can truly love two people at the same time? Dose he love his wife also? Is he going to leave his wife for you? And if he dose can you really trust him cause he cheated on her why not you? When two people have an affair lots of things come into play because it isn't a normal relationship.
Being in love with someone sometimes means not being with that person. You right now live with a lot of guilt. Do you know the wife? Or just know her through what he says? I am sure she would be really hurt if she found out about what he was doing. You can e-mail me if you like. ladylady4470@yahoo.com
2007-08-01 04:00:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not going to leave his wife, then you might as well cut it off right now. Don't waste your time. And its also very seldom that a husband will leave his wife for his mistress. How long have they been married? Do they have kids? Have you thought about the impact that both of your's selfishness would have on them? Did you know he was married when you first started it up with him? If you did, then you brought this on yourself. If you didnt, and he hid it from you, then your whole relationship STARTED as a lie. Not to mention that if he takes his vows so UNseriously with his wife, why would he be faithful to you? Once a cheater always a cheater.
a good relationship should not be this stressful. It should be filled with laughter and love, and good times, not worrying about if his wife is gonna find out about you.......
2007-08-01 04:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by cat_hawley 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea, oh sweet pea, see it will never work that way let me explain. You are 3rd in this relationship and 3 is a crowd. Don't do this to you. You have to see that you are not his main interest at this point. You are opening doors that don't need to be open. You have to love yourself enough to not let someone use you because that is what is happening at this point. Even if he leaves his wife and be with you in a relationship you have to know that is is very possible he will cheat on you to. You have to love yourself enough and say I am better than this, there is someone out there that will make you just as happy and complete. You have to find the strenght to let it go, NOW!. It's not fair to the wife and it's not fair to you. Don't be used by someone it will make you bitter. Be the bigger and better person in this situation. I pray God will give you strenght to do what is right!
2007-08-01 04:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by b n real 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
in most cases the husband never leaves the wfe so either way u will be hurt. u should find someone that can give u all of them and not borrowed time. also remember the old saying "do on to others as you would have them do onto you". u might be that married women one day whos husband is off with another women. make the wise decision to end it or deal with the consequences that will most definitely arise. and just for a little thought. say u and him end up together and he gets a divorce why wouldnt he do the same thing he is doing to his wife,the women he vowed with in front of God and family, to you.
2007-08-01 04:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by TFB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes somebodies else man . ur giving him what just bout every man wants! his CAKE AND ICE CREAM!!! ov course he gonna say and do things like that. and so u really think if he was to leave her today that he would seriously be with u? y should he hav to be? u have let him sample all the cookies n the store with out buying anything!!! honey trust me karma is a ***** and the world is round. u are just giving him an excuse to do this . u know in ur heart that he is not leaving his wife and if he does he will not come to u because hell he knows i can feed her a bunch ov bull and tell her i love her and hav sex with her and she is under my wing! if his relationship was so bad at home why hadnt he left her befor he met u ? im sure he went on to say its cheaper to keep her and blah blah blah and iam leaving her soon huh? trust me ur only setting urself up for more hurt in the long run by him . dont u get lonely on holidays? valentines,Christmas.ur birthday? dont u get tired ov him dealing with family first and then coming to u? do u like being number 2 .these are thing that u know arent right and u know what ur doing isnt right. there is no excuse for u to ever b with a married man! if hes so unhappy at home u let him figure that out with out u. cuz he aint that unhappy.
2007-08-01 04:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by sean a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stay in this situation you will be hurt and humiliated,over and over again.Look I know that I have no right to judge you but you are doing something wrong.Take my advice leave him.Just think about whats going on.This man is married and he is having a very convenient affair with you.If this man was honorable non of this would have happened.Even if he divorces his wife you should think twice about being with this cheater.
2007-08-01 04:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by Julius C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's married. That means he is bound to another woman and can't possibly commit himself to you.
His wife will find out eventually. Even though she may not know who you are now, she will at some point. Are you OK with the hurt you are inflicting on her?
Tell this boy (not a man) that he needs to work on his marriage first. End this now on your terms, not his and hold your head up. Be strong. You deserve a man who can be committed to you and only you.
Good luck.
2007-08-01 04:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋