...is not still in the stage where they sigh and go all googley-eyed and shivery and giggly and twittery over the sight of him?
I am as comitted to my husband as the ocean to the shore, but after 14 years the love is more solid and less like the first blush of passion of high-schoolers. (we met in our late 30's.)
Am I normal, headed for a nasty divorce, or need shock treatments in a mental hosiptal?
2007-08-01 03:53:33 · 17 answers · asked by danashelchan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is normal and no u are not headed for a nasty split or divorceville. i love my husband of 10 yrs but i dont get the twittly butterfly wings when i see him but i know i still love him no matter what. when we see our spouses everyday and wake up with them and sleep next to them it becomes familiar. try and plan something with your hubby this weekend just the two of u and i bet u get all bubblyinside once again.. we are going away with my husbands brother and his wife for a weekend and i am so excited to get some alone time with my hubby i am beside my self. i havent felt this way in along time but i never stopped loving him i just got in a routine and i love the thought of breaking the routine.
2007-08-01 03:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by THE UK WILDCAT FAMILY 10 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are too comfortable in your relationship! Time to spark things up again. No matter how long you are together, you can have the googly eyes for each other and by the same token, relationships take work no matter how long you have been together. So remember the things that brought you together way back when, and rekindle the flame! Dont be so comfortable in your relationship that he always knows what to expect with you! Try new things, surprise him when he leasts expects it! Try greeting him at the door in nothing but an apron! Just dont make the mistake of doing that when the kids are home like I did! Kind of ruined the moment! HEE HEE The one thing after almost 30 years of being together for us is that after all this time, he is still excited to come home after work. Just rushes right home to an old and fat crabby women! Whos been alone at home with the kids for the week! We still had the googly eyes untill 2 years ago when we got our grandson to raise! HE is 2 and a drug baby with many challenges! It has put a tremendous amount of presure on the entire family to be sure! The baby has changed many things for us. Where we were looking forward to getting through the next 3 graduations and having our life to ourselves with no kids in the house, being able to go places together without kids and all those wonderful things, that is not any longer in the picture and it has changed both of us! If you arent having problems yet, just need to spice up things, now is the time to do it! It is work but it is fun! Why not have a blast keeping your marraige exciting? Why not always make him wonder what will happen next? If you do this for him, soon you wil have the googly eyes back because you havehelped make things more wonderful. Dont wait till you start having problems to start having fun again together. Dont let yourself be so comfortable.
2007-08-01 11:16:23 · answer #2 · answered by tpettee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are very normal...those giggles and 'first blush of high schoolers' that you are talking about are just novelties in early romantic relationships that simply do not last...the 'committed and more solid love' that you feel for your husband now is the key to long lasting relationships... Although you must also offer some surprises here and there and have some funny moments together so you dont bore each other away in the reationship...
2007-08-01 11:11:16 · answer #3 · answered by simplicity 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While it may be "normal", it is not "concrete".. if you don't want it to be.
You (and him) always have the option and ability to light the fires of love and passion. There are too many ways, books and dvd's to help you ignite the passion and flames of your first love. The question is.... "Will you allow life and mediocracy to swallow your marriage up?"
It's up to both of you. But know this, that you can do it! Be careful not to even think that someone else can stir up those emotions in you. It's human nature to be excited at first and then dwizzle after time. Become involved in the solution. They are feelings and emotions. If they were passionate and stirred up once, they can be again. And again, as often as you work for it.
http://www.splashdesignworks.com
http://www.housefellowship.org
http://www.promediatrax.com
2007-08-01 11:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*giggle* totally normal! Maybe it's time to spice things up a little? Doesnt have to be just bedroom wise either...
My partner works away, for 4 weeks and comes back for 1. We've been together for over 5 years, and we have child, so things definetly got a little mundane for a bit there.
But as he's away, and when he comes back, there's lot's of fireworks. We flirt, and tease eachother... and it's nice.
Spending time apart, even a few days, can do wonders, and you realise how much you need them in your life and how you appreciate them.
Good luck x
2007-08-01 11:15:11 · answer #5 · answered by *~Ally~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say its normal. I am getting married in 17 days, and I have been with my fiance for 4 years. We are madly in love, but I am not like a high-schooler over him anymore. I think its just solid love....
2007-08-01 11:18:39 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. 26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it funny that you honestly thought those feelings would last. It's normal and healthy to move on to a more solid kind of love. In many ways it is much more satisfying. If you want some of those jittery feelings back (btw they are more based on lust whereas what you have know is based on love and commitment) then find ways to make it more exciting again. If you speak with any marriage counselor, or read any books on marriage you will see that this is very common and nothing at all to worry about.
2007-08-01 10:58:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jessie 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
You are normal! So are those who are in this situation. After a long time with him sometimes it erks! Even the sight of him could annoy you but when he is not around miss him like crazy. Well this is the facts of love life.
2007-08-01 11:29:24 · answer #8 · answered by Scorpgal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normal.
2007-08-01 11:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by raininonsunday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are normal. Everything new wears old. Next time you see him think about the times he made you blush, you will appreciate your relationship. I feel the same way at times, but I think back about when we were dating and I am so very happy to be with him. I think most people share this as well.
2007-08-01 11:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Maria 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋