Does counseling really help someone get over years of being hurt?

Question

I am willing to go but my husband (we are going though a divorce) thinks that its not going to do anything for him.

The therapist/marriage counselor I am going to be working with says that she is going to put us both together for the first session and then treat us separately. She says she doesn't use emotions to work things out, she says that first she works on us taking care of our personal needs and then moves on from there.

My husband knows the counselor because it is the church staff who is going to be doing the counseling, and I don't know if that will make him uncomfortable considering he has been avoiding them since we have been separated, and now he is going to be going hopefully if the court grants the court ordered counseling.

He has admitted he has issues to deal with and that he is doing wrong by getting divorced btu he says that counseling isn't going to help.

Answer 1

getting things out in the open and out of your system really helps sometimes.

i find that when i write a letter or note saying what i think about the situation it helps.

i never give it to anybody, i mostly just throw it away, but letting stuff out is good, and im sure counseling will help if youre hurt over someone/something.

Answer 2

If you have a good counselor.

I will say this to you, the only thing that can truly make you better is you. How we feel about ourselves is all about the way that we think.
I recently read a book called prometheus rising by robert anton wilson. It was written in 1983 but all of what he says holds true to today.
He talks about our minds being split into two parts. A thinker and a prover. He says the thinker thinks, and the prover proves it to us. If we think we are depressed or stressed out the prover proves this to us by making us very tired or short of breath. He goes into great detail about how to change these things and there are excercises throughout the book. I highly suggest you give it a read through.

The biggest problem I had with counseling was that they put me on medication and that ended up being more of a problem for me than a solution. But if you can find a cognitive therapist that doesn't believe in medication I'm sure you would get a lot out of it.

Answer 3

You have to understand one thing: counseling CAN help but it is not a "magic wand".

Some issues can be resolved but others can't.
And it takes time and effort, too. Even the best therapist in the world will not be able to help you if you don't want to listen- and to be helped. So depending on the nature of your problems and on what is happening on your marriage, going to counseling may or may not help you.

Perhaps it will help you to get to know yourself better...even though your marriage cannot be saved.

I also think that God is the best therapist around...And he's available anytime, and you don't have to pay him any fees...!
Ask Him to guide you and bless you, and heal you and help you out. He wants to help you- but He is waiting for you to ask Him from the bottom of your heart....Good luck!

Answer 4

It really all depends on how you cope. But in the grand scheme of things, one should always have someone to go to. Counseling may seem really strange; talking to someone you dont know - but its no different than asking questions over yahoo. All i can tell you is that before you seek counseling, you have to sit down and realise that what comes out of the experience only depends on what you put into it. Dont be afraid of opening up to the counselor, sometimes people just need to "let it all out" to be able to deal with it.
-Angelica

Answer 5

Me and my husband are seeing a marriage counselor and its going really well. At first my husband did not believe on it and did not want to share our problems with nobody. But now he's the first one to talk when we get there and he's the always the one looking forward on the next appointment.

Answer 6

well, sometimes couseling helps, but not always. My husband dropped the bomb on me IN a counseling session...while I was pregnant! I cried, pleaded, begged what have you...we hung on 3 years before he finally left for good. So if someone really wants out, there probably is nothing you can do. it hurts like hell, but why counseling can help sort out one's feelings...it's truly time that heals all wounds, and wounds all heels lol. best of luck from someone who's been there...

Answer 7

Counseling helps somewhat, if it is some one you really trust, it is not going to take all the pain away, but it does give you a new prospective on things, and gives you someone to talk to and they can give you advise, to get over years of being hurt it is just going to have to take some time, and take it one day at a time!

Answer 8

Only if you have truly decided to give up whatever it is that you get out of being hurt. Nobody continues to endure emotional pain unless that pain fulfills some need.

Counseling will help find out what that need is thus allowing you to move on.

Answer 9

Yes it really can, if you find the right counselor. The first one you go to might be right for you, or might not. If you don't feel like you're making progress and you're really trying, you might want to try someone else. Go for it! It can change your life!

Answer 10

Yes, but you must find a good counselor. Try a few and see which one's you connect with. Good luck to you. You can get over it, but it will take time.