I really want to be with her and go,but i've lived here my whole life and my family is down here. On the other hand she is the love of my life and i've raised her daughter since she was a baby! I can't not be with her either! But my family is giving me hell over not staying where i am. They really are just being selfish,I mean i'm 27 years old! Oh well,do I go with her, despite the "control" my family has holding me back?
2007-08-01 03:45:10 · 24 answers · asked by Mrazda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you really have to do what is in the best interest of your family, by that i mean your fiancee and daughter.
the family you move away from, will still be your family, with strong ties.
i am sure there will be great trips to visit each other, as i know there are in my family.
2007-08-01 03:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's testing your commitment to them, and you have to choose between her and your family. What will you choose? I think you already know the answer to that question. It lies in your hesitation. Did you get it yet? Well, according to your hesitation, confusion, and desperation to find an answer, I would think the answer to be: "no!, don't go."
You have your reasons for feeling this way. Stick by them, without being confused further by the argument of your family "controlling" you. To be close to your family is a good thing. That is the exact value she is asking you to live, isn't it? She wants you to be close to her, as your family.
Only prob is, she's asking you to go against that value on the one side, so you can live it on the other. Not good. No wonder you're confused.
Perhaps it is cold thing to say, but the TRUTH is that she is not your family, and you are not the father of her baby. She might become your family one day, and you might adopt her baby girl as your own one day, but now, right now, neither of them are legally bonded to you. She might also leave you homeless and stranded in another state. Anything is possible.
Would she marry you today? If she hesitates, or raise a whole story why it isn't possible right now, then stick with your family, for now. She is not as committed to you as you think. She wants your total commitment, but she can't give it herself. Bad deal, and you have a whole life ahead of you.
2007-08-01 04:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by justaguy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you questioning this because she is only your fiance and not your wife? What would your decision be if you were married? That should be your decision now. She and her daughter are your family you need to do what is best for them. Your family should be supporting you not creating conflict. It's always a bit unsettling when a family member moves but you're still family right? Distance doesn't change a thing. Go with your fiance and start your new life together.
2007-08-01 03:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't allow your family to control you at 27 - or at any age for that matter!!! You're old enough to know what's best for you, and if you really love her you shouldn't be hesitant: you would just pack your things and go with her. That's selfish of your family not to support you if this is what you think is going to make you happy. My family used to be like that, and sooner or later you have to let them know that it's YOUR life and only YOU can be in control of it..... they may not like your decisions, but they will have to live with it because they also made their own decisions whether others liked it or not. So you shouldn't be asking this...... just do what your heart and mind tell you. Good luck!
2007-08-01 03:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a man or a mommy's boy? She is your fiance for the name of God! If you are 27 start acting like it. Tell your family that you are leaving to be with the woman you love.
Sorry if that sounded harsh but you need a wake up call. If you love this woman, and you are going to marry her, then your family had better get with the program.
Move with her. Best of luck.
2007-08-01 03:59:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your plans are definate about marriage, then I would consider moving, as long as the move is in a better place than where you are living now and you can easily obtain employment. It would be foolish to move out of state without first securing employment because love doesn't pay the rent.
The fact that you say you're down and moving up concerns me. Normally, people want to move to warmer climates, not colder. My advice to you would be to travel for a week or two to check out the place and find employment.
2007-08-01 03:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't let either side make you do what they want. If this girl really loves you then she must compromise. Your family will understand if you move but YOU have to want this. Don't do it just to be with her, you must be happy where you live too. Is she asking this of you to get you away from your family? If the answer is yes then you will not make it. She has to understand that...
2007-08-01 03:53:16 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You intend to make her your wife and it's hard to be married to someone who lives in another state without any hope of coming back.
If she and her daughter are what you want from life then make the plans to go. She can go ahead of you if you need extra time to prepare for employment or anything along those lines. My question is does she want to marry you? Why is she moving? Does she want you to go?
You are 27 and need to make choices in your life that are going to fulfill what you want and need. Your family did their job and need to let you go. Don't worry about them, they are family, they will get over it. And should be happy if this is what is making you happy. You can always visit your familyand who knows what life has in store for you....you can always relocate back home if it is best for your family....meaning your wife and daughter.
Good Luck!
2007-08-01 03:53:02 · answer #8 · answered by Greenie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES you go, she is your fiance and soon will be your wife Your family is being selfish in asking you not to follow your heart. It sounds like they don't care for your future wife much at all or what your feelings about her are. One word of advice though, your family may hold it against her for you moving so be prepared for that. Hold onto your guns and do what you need to do for you. Good luck.
2007-08-01 04:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea if she is truly who you want to be with than you go to her. Family will always be there, but it seems like you want to start a family of your own. You look deep inside your heart and find what is really important at this point. Sometimes our love ones can hinder our blessings so it's up to you at this point. Good luck and God bless you in the decision you make!
2007-08-01 03:57:14 · answer #10 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋