What Should You Say When Your ex Calls?

Question

I was just wondering what should you say to your ex-spouse after a really bad break up, if they decide to call ask how you were doing after awhile? In my situation, sometimes I can't resist to not picking up the phone. Other time, I know that he called, but let the voicemail does the work. When he called though he usually talk business like what I need to do and whatnot...when picking up the phone, I usually don't want to hear those things. I rather hear something goods from him like he ever cared at all, if you know what I mean.

No, we're not divorced yet, but he said he will file for a divorce after he gets back from his deployment which another 5 months. I got the feelign that he will call during those times. Maybe once a month I would if he gets to phone or anytype of communication devices

Answer 1

He is your ex for a reason-stop picking up the phone, see how easy that was to fix :)

Answer 2

It sounds like he is in the same spot you are in this marriage - all the issues haven't been resolved and, like you, he isn't ready to put it all behind him. You say you want to hear good things - I'm sure he does, too.

It's up to you whether or not you want to talk about the relationship and how you helped contribute to the break down of it - but, you will have to keep in mind that he may not be able to admit that he contributed to the problems as well. Some people can't admit they are wrong.

I would suggest, since you do talk to him sometimes, that you be completely honest with him at this point about your feelings and thoughts - what do you have to lose? You are separated and talking divorce, right? Take care of what you need to say to him so that you can move on - it's for your own benefit.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Apparently you aren't ready to deal with him on a different level, that being people who have broken up but still care about the well being of the other. If that's true, then just don't pick up the phone. If you're in the mood to talk to him, and he's all business, just let him know you can take care of your own business and thanks for asking. You can't move on if you're still wishing he'd say things about caring, etc. You know he must have cared at one time. It may temporarily make you feel good to hear it again, but it only holds you back while you dwell on what might have been.

Answer 4

If your divorce was friendly, then I would say, go ahead, have a friendly conversation. But, you had a nasty break up. Chances are, your husband was just as nasty and mean. And, the fact that he's calling you up and barking orders at you sounds like he has some control issues. It's in your best interest to avoid him and don't answer the phone at all. If you accidently answer the phone, ask him not to call you again and if he continues, get a restraining order.

Answer 5

If the only reason he calls is to discuss things that need to be done, then you have to accept that is why he is calling. You don't say who ended it, how long it's been or if there are any children.
He is an ex for a reason and most of the time, I know there are exceptions, there's too much bad blood, hurt feelings, or awkwardness to be friends after a divorce. If you have kids, be as civil as you can, but don't expect him to be your friend. Maybe with enough time it will get better.

Answer 6

Sounds like you still care for him? Does he still care for you? then answer the phone. Let him say what he wants and listen to what he says. Most people only hear what they want to hear then the anger for the things said and done to each other during your relationship comes to mind usually causing hurt ,then turns on the ego of ourselves own feelings without communication.
You can always block your phone or change your # if you don't want his calls.
Marriage ???

Answer 7

You don't say if you have children or other ties that would keep you talking to him.

Is there a reason you need to keep talking to him?

When my ex and I divorced, he called me a lot for mundane reasons. I think part of it was that he missed me, hoping I would come back. You have to just be firm with him. Tell him you're not up to talking or you're busy or you just think he calls too much. Stand firm and stop taking his calls if you need to. You two are divorced now, you have no obligation to continue chit chatting with him.

Him telling you he never cared will not make things any better. You both need to move forward.

Good luck.

Answer 8

What Should You Say When Your Ex Calls?

How about "Where the hell is the Check?"
"What are you, lonely?" or my favorite...

"Hi, sorry I can't come to the phone, I am having communal, oral,anal and vaginal sex, I'm about to faint from the sheer bliss of it all. So leave a message after the beep and when I come I will call you back....if I can walk.....beeeeeep".
Peace

Answer 9

Have you ever watched a star shoot accross the sky? That is how life seems at times. It gfoes by really fast. If you want to be with this person then work it out, but you do need to ask yourself why he is your X in the first place. Tred softly!

Answer 10

wel if he is givin you instructions even wen u pik up the fone then i wud tel him to *** off lol y is he even clin up ur fone - suggest to him that he moves on with his life and if he still wants to call you then he should start speaking more nicely to you so you can hear them 'good things' u was talkin about. If you dont like the phone calls the blok his number or change urs.

Answer 11

Question arises of why is he calling at all? If... he is your "ex".

Is he your ex, or a stand-by? Be committed to one person, and that will automatically eliminate confusion. It is when a choice has not been fully committed to, that straddling the fence, or the "pull" of someone else makes things hard.

If you are committed to your new person, for real, then it should have been already stated to the ex, "Please don't call me anymore". That simple. Really.

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