My wife says she needs $2000 a month for groceries and gas and miscelanious expenses...I say $500. Any views?

Question

I pay all the bills, except for the groceries, gas and her "mad money." I don't eat at home, and the groceries are just for her and a 3 and 5 year old. I'm thinking she is WAY excessive, and she is thinking the sam about me. Financially, she's killing me...any one out there with some opinions would be appreciated.

Answer 1

Why don't you buy the groceries and gas and miscellaneous expenses for a couple of months and see how much you end up spending, and then give your wife that much. If you can spend xx on all that than so can she.

Answer 2

Depending on where you live it may or may not be excessive. Personally I have two teenage boys and spend up to $300 per week on JUST groceries. Then you must add fuel and eating out, clothing child indulgences and there is nothing left in my budget for "mad money".
Assuming you are either supporting a 2nd family or just don't live with them you MUST accept that a budget is the ONLY way to ensure things are fare and equitable.
To those who have said "is she working" ...... obviously they do not have children. Running a house and bringing up two small children IS A FULL TIME JOB. If she is having to do this alone you must remember there is no off switch with your own children. Do you use childcare occaisionally to give your wife some 'down-time'? If not you should include this in her budget. It's not as easy as a regular job, you can't go home at the end of the day and leave the problems at work.......

One answer suggested "Quicken" as a budget planner, this is great although there are other systems also. Personally I use Microsoft Money and this more than adequately budgets my life. I suggest to anyone "the tighter your budget, the more you need to use a good budget system".

Finally, don't dismiss her claims without due consideration. Sit down [together hopefully] and work out where the money is going. See if this can bring you to a better understanding of each other's point of view.

Answer 3

I am newly married, but the one thing I have learned is to keep right and wrong out of it. Keep things to compromise and budget. If you can agree that you need a budget, that is half the battle. Next comes the hard part, what # should be budgeted. To get this, go shopping with her, she may appreciate it and entertain the kids while she goes through her regular shopping routine. Then you have an idea of what it takes on a weekly basis for food. Whatever that # is budget and extra $50 or so ontop of it. That way you are bound to catch up and actually bank more money than spend. Say she spent $150 this week. If you Budget $200 a week in a months time you may have an extra $100. Either store that away for family vacation, or maybe a night out to eat. It sounds simple, but it takes patience and discipline. The biggest factor is not to point the finger throughout this process. That way you both are on the same page especially when she seems to be shooting high, and you seem to be shooting low.

Answer 4

Does your wife work? I'm assuming she does not, if so, that means you are the only one with an income in the house. You and your wife need to sit down and have a serious talk about the finances. Have her prove, in a sense, what exactly she buys every month and how it adds up to $2000. You both need to be sensible and create a family budget. There needs to be a compromise in the middle, somewhere between $500 and $2000, but it needs to be based on facts (what she is buying every month that is costing so much). Add up the receipts for groceries, gas, things for the kids, etc, and see how much they equate to each month. Find out exactly what she's using her "mad money" for, and set an EXACT amount for that each month - that way when she runs out, she must wait until next month to have more. There need to be boundaries; she shouldn't feel like she can spend whatever she wants, whenever she wants, without any kind of spending limit. The main thing here is for you and her to communicate. Sit down and talk about the finances, create a sensible and reasonable budget, and realize that there will have to be compromise on both yours and her ends.

Answer 5

Personally, I think your wife is nuts. $2k a month?

For a family of 3 (one being a teenage boy who eats constantly), I spend between $75 and $100 a week for groceries. We eat out 2 or 3 evenings a week, but even if we ate at home every night, I can't imagine I'd spend more than $125 or so a week for food.

As for "mad money", what is she buying? Clothes? Shoes? Going to movies? What? Personally, I take $80 a week for my own personal spending, and that includes lunches, movies, and little expenses that don't come out of the family budget.

There are people who don't have $2k a month, period, to pay all their bills, buy groceries, put gas in their car, etc., and somehow they make it. The fact that your wife thinks she needs that kind of money IN ADDITION to the regular bills, is ludicrous! I can't see how she'd need more than $6 or 700 a month for everything, including groceries!

Answer 6

2000.00 seems a little excessive but you need to sit down and add up all of her expenses. Does she work. Take the kids to school, play groups etc. Does she go to the beauty salon? The amount of snacks she buys when she goes grocery shopping? Just have her write it down for you . try going grocery shopping with her . Make the grocery list. According to were you live it just may be that expensive. I live in the south . I spend about 700.00 a month in groceries. Plan it out with her and just let her know that she needs to budget money wisely. Good Luck

Answer 7

I would say that it depends on where you live and the cost of living there.

For me $500 would definitely not be enough. I average $600 a month just for groceries for 2 adults and 5 pets.

My cost for gas is $160 per month to commute to work which is 26 miles round-trip and just driving locally to run errands.

Also depends on what those miscellaneous expenses are as well. For me: health and beauty aids, hair cuts, prescriptions, newspapers and magazines, etc.

If you think her request is too high, ask her to create an itemized list of her expenses so that she can prove to you that she needs $2000 per month.

Answer 8

500$ a month isnt much for gas, food and fun money. Now it depends on what you can afford. She can make it on $500 if you just cant afford more. I think between $500 and $1000 would be sufficient. But what is wrong with your family? Why dont you eat with them? Are you working away from home? The whole tone of your question is like you/them, and not a family idea. You sound pretty selfish.

Answer 9

are you separated/divorced. I live alone and spend about $50/wk for groceries and household supplies. For adults and 2 kids that should be about $100-130/week. If she's home with the kids and not commuting, $20/wk is plenty for gas, so that comes to $600 or so, plus $200 mad money includes entertainment for kids, haircuts, her salon - ocassional McDonalds lunch with kids - $800/mo is plenty if you pay everything else including car payments and oil changes, etc - have her justify with actual receipts what all her miscellaneous items are and see how much is frivolous female crap

Answer 10

If its killing you financially, you both need to sit down and work out a budget, and have her save receipts so you can see exactly where it is all going. Accountability and compromise will help you both work this out.

As for me, I cannot feed my 4 kids and husband and self for $200/wk, I tried and tried but kept having to go over at the end of the week. Little kids are expensive to feed if they're picky. Of course, there are 6 of us, but overall, I think $500 is low. Especially with the cost of gas right now!