all really mean things about me, why is this happening?????????????
2007-08-01 01:04:39 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he's sick. He's a control freak, and he's just trying to demean you in his own sick way. Trying to break your self esteem and your spirit. Has he tried to stop you from seeing your friends and family yet? If not, that will be just around the corner. Run, don't walk, far, far away from him NOW.
2007-08-01 01:10:12 · answer #1 · answered by ~RedBird~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like the ex husband that I had of 17 years. Yes I said of 17 years, why did I wait so long to leave him, cause I was afraid of him, that is why.
You didn't say if there were any children involved in this either. But either way, take my advise and get out of this marriage as soon as you can before it is too late. If you stay in it, it will only get worse I promise you that. And the scares that it will leave on you will not go away, they will be too deep, I know as I live that life every day of my life. What is happening is this man has got a control issue that is really bad. That is not a real marriage at all. Believe me it will only get worse as time goes by. I can not tell you how many times that I left my husband before I did get my divorce from him in high hopes that he would change. The only change in him was he kept on getting worse. Oh he would change and be so nice after I would leave him and say he would change, I would go back and he would be as good as gold for about a week or two and then right back to his old ways. Yes he would even threaten me. Now because I did wait so long to leave him for good, I am scared (emotionaly) for life now. Do your self a big favor and get out of it now and find some one that really does love you as this is not real love. You deserve better than this kind of life.
2007-08-01 01:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the people who say that this is a control issue and he's manipulating you. The reason why this is happening isn't nearly as important to ask as is the question of, why are you letting it happen?
It is very important that you get into counseling and go for yourself not him. You will not be able to change him or his behavior, only he can do that and only when he is good and ready. You on the other hand need to make yourself a priority, your happiness and well being depend on you. A qualified therapist will be able to help you with that goal.
A word of advice, don't let your husband tell you that you don't need to see or talk to someone, asking this question is a cry for help.
Hopefully at some point in the future he will be willing to go to counseling with you to work on your marriage. Then he might be open to changing his own behavior.
Good Luck.
2007-08-01 01:37:30 · answer #3 · answered by indigolady1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's abusive and manipulative, and he's showing all the signs abusive men have in the "cycle of abuse." This means that he'll abuse you and be horrible, but then immediately switch over to the nice side and apologize to you to stay on your good side so you don't leave him. He wants to "have his cake and eat it too" (as the saying goes) except in a really sick, controlling way. The only way you can stop this cycle of abuse is by leaving; otherwise it will simply get more severe and could seriously harm you mentally and physically. If the two of you have any children, then think about the harm it could do to them, and get out. I know that leaving is a really hard thing to do because you probably love him. However, if he truly loved you he wouldn't abuse you. This is wrong, and deep inside you know it. So conquer your emotions, and don't let him control you like that anymore. The ball's in your court now. You can get out of this bad relationship and fully recover IF you get out soon. Otherwise, as with so many domestic abuse victims, you could have permanent damage. Good luck; you can do this :D
2007-08-01 01:09:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's really not worth your time. Abuse of ANY kind is not acceptable, and you shouldn't stand for it. I suggest you seriously evaluate your relationship with your husband and figure out if you're both willing to live like this in the future.
2007-08-01 01:09:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure you want to stay in a marriage like that? Ask him whats up with that. And tell him you don't want him to be this way. if he doesnt stopp, I would consider a divorce. If you are to scared to talk to him, Also concider a divorce. There is a lot of nice, loving, respectful men out there!
2007-08-01 01:08:37 · answer #6 · answered by proud airforce wife 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the typical abuse cycle, it's nothing you are doing or not doing (although I'm sure he'd say it's all your fault) - you might want to consider getting out of the relationship before it escalates to physical abuse.
2007-08-01 01:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its mental and emotional abuse which is almost just as bad as the physical kind. You need to tell him to get help for that or its not going to work out.
2007-08-01 01:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its all about control, its emotional abuse. He is mean until he thinks you have had enough, then just when you are thinking of leaving, he turns nice again. All designed to make you think you are going crazy. This kind of abuse is just as bad as him beating you and it takes a massive toll on your self esteem.
2007-08-01 01:08:04 · answer #9 · answered by rachielewis1971 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is a typical pattern for abusers.
You need to get out of there.
2007-08-01 01:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by dynomoose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋