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I am a British man, I got in touch with an Indian girl over the Internet, and I ended up marrying her and bringing her over here. She did rush me into the marriage but it was still my choice. I am really the only person she has in this country. After we were living together for a while I realised that I had made a mistake in marrying her and she wasn't for me. She was needy, insecure, melodramatic and there was no mental connection between us. I told her in April we should finish it and have kept on providing for her and living with her since. She is a Masters student and I paid her fees as well. What should I do now? It would be very difficult for her to return to India as a divorcee because of the stigma, and she would not have much of a future there. If we stay married but separated for about another year we could lie and say that we intend to remain married in order to get her permanent residency over in the UK. Should we do that? What should I do about her future?

2007-08-01 01:04:17 · 21 answers · asked by asylumseeker 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

21 answers

You cant live your life for others, that said you also have to take care the messes you make. So if she wants to stay, id say help her. If she isnt interested then DAS BOOT and back to stigma india, and dont worry they are americaizing like a freaking plague there so shell do ok.

2007-08-01 01:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

You are a very sweet man to care so much about her future. She probably rushed you into marriage because of her religion. But you have to think of yourself first. I would sit her down and really explain your feelings to her. There is no reason you should live with someone you don't love life is too short. People get divorced every day. I would be separated for the year so she can be a resident of the UK, but explain to her that you can go your own ways during this separation. Then once she is legal she can make her own choices. But you have to do whats right for you first. You also paid for her schooling which was very gracious of you. She will have that degree to make it on her own. You really need to just carry on. Good luck

2007-08-01 01:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by Maria 5 · 0 0

Yeah you should have lived together first.......especially coming from different countries and backgrounds.....I think you arent the only person she has,she has FRIENDS from school right,isnt there anybody who could sponsor her,might be the school itself???Why doe she wanna return to India,I quess she wants to make a living later on in UK right so dont worry about it.Im DUTCH ,living in JAPAN so I dont know about british law but doesnt your wife be entitled to some kinda visa straight after divorce..... longterm residency or something so you dont have to lie ,there must be some good legal arrangement between india and England from historic kinda point,why dont you got some advice of a lawyer.....I mean you have done YOUR SHARE already...marrying her,provinding a roof,food and school-fees and because of YOU she can stay in your country.....its about time you think about what you wanna do now and in future,ok

2007-08-01 01:17:31 · answer #3 · answered by ajal 6 · 1 0

While I think it is very noble of you to consider her future, you both entered into this as adults making your own choices. I have a feeling she knew exactly what she was getting into when she married you, and I don't believe you are obligated any further to her future. She may love you, but if she truly rushed you into marriage like you said, my guess is she was looking for a way to get her ticket out of India, her education paid for, as well as room and board.

If you choose to stay together for another year so she can get her permanent residency, you may miss out on a chance for real love with a woman who does not expect you to pay her way, and one who does her own worrying over her future and doesn't expect a man to do it for her.

2007-08-01 01:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by hrh.sassypants 2 · 0 0

You are a very good man to worry about her future. I wish more men out there had the balls to think about the women they want to divorce or leave. Alot of them just leave and don't think or care where they end up. I think yea help her get her residency and then divorce. A year goes by quick and its not like your going to rush out there and get married again in a year. Well I hope not. People need to wait before getting remarried to make sure they don't rush and make the same mistake.

2007-08-01 01:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by youcandoit 4 · 0 0

You seem to be a thorough g/man. You have provided her with all that she needed. In my opinion for the sake of humanity if she needs to settle down in uk just keep on pretending to be married until she acquires permanent residency rights etc etc. after all you both probabably loved each other. since you still care for her let her finish off her studies. As a last resort try to make her understand and who knows she might also respond positively. Good Luck mate.

2007-08-01 01:56:17 · answer #6 · answered by pj 1 · 0 0

you're ideal, marital counselling and having elders check together with her isn't gonna verify the area. in actuality, the subject is previous restoration and that i've got self belief divorce is the main suitable way out. hire a criminal expert and look at out to record a case on grounds of- a million. Cruelty 2. forget 3. Sexual forget I additionally think of she might desire to be having affairs exterior and that perspective might want to be investigated. If shown so, adultery may be the fourth fee. i did not comprehend 2 issues - a million. Did she depart you and the babies on the time of your surgical operation or did she take the babies together with her? and a couple of. What have been the surgical procedures in regard with? you do not ought to go through such forget, harassment and torture. attempt to touch the adult men's rights activist. Google the internet web site and deliver them an digital mail and get some help. And talk sternly to her in regards to the telephone calls and affairs and get straighten issues out. Be a guy!!!

2016-10-01 04:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by lepeska 4 · 0 0

Maybe you should think about what you want. If you dont wantt to be with this woman then quite simply dont be with her. I dont mean it rudely but it sounds like from day one she has depended on you for everything and to be honest in this day and age women should be able to stand on there own two feet without depending on a man...no offence. But for you to be paying all her bills and so on when you've told her it's more or less over and then you worrying about what would happen if she went back to india...well do you really need the stress of all that while your trying to decide weather or not to get a divorce. Dont stop your life to be a stepping stone for sombody else to trample on. I know shes your wife and is probablt a nice woman but if she wants to go to school shouldnt she be funding it and so on...

I might sound a bit harsh but i know if i wasnt with a partner i wouldnt expect them to pay for everything and worry about me....married or not...it's good to wish them well and so on....but how many other men do you see in your situation being walked over.

I just cant stand people being used and to me thats what your situation sounds like...and seems to have been form day one...

.......no more internet meetups leading to marriage for you!!!!

Have a nice day

2007-08-01 01:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by jinglebells 2 · 0 0

You sound like a decent guy. Let her know that you want her to obtain residency, so you'll separate, but remain married until that happens. She probably married just to escape that country anyway and you probably were using your other head when you made that decision.

2007-08-01 02:03:19 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0 0

Only you know the answer to that. You are the one that decided to marry someone you really didn't know. She didn't rush you into marriage...Did she hold a gun to your head? You made the choice to marry her. You can stay married and live a pathetic miserable life or you can lie as you say so she can become a citizen in the UK. I say you made your bed so now lay in it.

2007-08-01 01:12:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

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