What you will do if you caught that you`re husband is having an affair with a girl in a chat room.It`s the second time, with different girls. Will you still forgive him? The first one was finished, forgotten and he was being forgiven. But lately, without my knowledge, he have again with a new girl. It is proven because I have read the off line messages of that ***** girl.. ANY ADVICES ????
2007-08-01 00:21:32 · 23 answers · asked by nemo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
keep the evidence, go see a lawyer and get a divorce, first time i understand forgiveness and all, but really he obviously doesn;t love you or care about you or your feelings at all, LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LEAVE GIRL, YOU ONLY GET TO LIVE THIS LIFE ONE TIME, AND YOU DON;T GET TO DO IT OVER, WE ARE HERE TO MAKE MISTAKES AND LEARN FROM THEM, MARRYING HIM WAS A MISTAKE, i am so sorry, and i know you obvioiusly love him, but second time, no way noway, you have to have more self respect, what part of yourself even needs to ask you to stay with him? i know you probaby just feel like dying, but really you need to love yourself enough to reallize there are men out there who commit their entire being to you? I know you don;t want to hear this but really hon, is this how you want to live out the rest of your life? this isn;t love......there isn;t a judge out there who wouldn;t award you with divorce after this, really, i know you don;t want to leave, but your life depends on it!!! go look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve better,. do you have children? if so you need to hightail it out of there for everyone's sake, emotionally this can only get worse, and you need to move on now., seriously try to get into some councelling, and go see a lawyer, i tell you something, that computer would be in a million peices all over the goddamn house, if he was going to do it it wouldn;t be in my home, or you could have his bags packled and the computer can go out the front door with the rest of his stuff, Just remember, go see a lawyer first, as you have LOTS AND LOTS OF RIGHTS HERE, HE CANNOT MAKE YOU LEAVE YOUR HOME, SERIOUSLY JUST TALK TO A LAWYER THEN WEIGH OUT YOUR PROS AND CONS AND I THINK YOU WILL SEE LIFE IS IN YOUR FAVOR, HE IS THE ONE WHOHAS BROKEN A LEGAL COMMITMENT!!!1111 I KNOW YOU DON;T WANT TO HEAR THIS BUT I AM SURE THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS YOU STAY IS YOUR WORRIE WHERE WILL I GO WHAT WILL I DO, BUT IF YOU STAY HOME, HE WILL HAVE TO PAY ANYWAY FOR HIS INFIDELITY, SO REALLY JUST TALK TO A LAWYER, BUT YOU CAN;T LET THIS CONTINUE, SOON YOU WILL BE STRIPPED OF ALL YOURSELF ESTEEM, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU DEALT WITH IT AND YOU FORGAVE HIM, YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A WONDERFUL PERSON, BUT HE HAS REALLY REALLY BETRAYED YOU THIS TIME, REALLY THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE, LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LEAVE, YOU HAVE TO YOU ONLY LIVE THIS LIFE ONE TIME, HE DOESN;T DESERVE YOU, TELL HIM MAYBE YOU TWO CAN HAVE AN AFFAIR ONLINE WHEN HE MOVES OUT.
TAKE CARE, BIG HUGS, YOU SHOULD LEAVE
BABY
2007-08-08 04:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by babymalai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some would say Internet affairs are harmless because there is no contact. This is a load of crap!! If you husband is seeking another woman for any kind of intimacies by Internet or in person it is safe to say he does not value your marriage. He does not care how you feel about it and is being disrespectful to you. In a day where the computer is a link to the outside world for so many other reasons...if your husband can't control himself then decide which is more important the computer or your husband, either way one should GO!!
2007-08-07 10:41:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What constitutes a chatroom affair?
An affair, you know the adultery type thing, requires swapping some bodily fluids.
How do you do that in chat?
Look, short of his saying "I can't wait to see you and have mad passionate sex" this is not something to cause a divorce over. Is it smart on his part, NO. Are you being a little controlling, YES.
Perhaps you should work on your own attitude towards him and lighten up. He might even spend more time with you and not less.
The concept that we never talk, email, chat or correspond with any other women after we get married is an unattainable goal. Using your own standard I could get in trouble for answering your question on Yahoo. You need to look very closely at what you wish your desired result to be.
The whole concept of fidelity revolves around
HIS VOLUNTARY CHOICE not to have physical contact with other women. If that commitment has not been established in his mind , darlin, you got other problems than chat.
2007-08-01 07:44:47 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it is crap that some people don't consider it cheating until something physical takes place. He can be having an emotional affair. HELLO! He is talking to a woman or women other than his wife about things he should be talking to his wife about. Whats the next step after meeting someone on line and conversing? Its meeting in person...Do you really want things to be taken that far? It should be nipped in the bud right now. How would your husband feel about you emailing men behind his back? Some people are so clueless!
2007-08-01 08:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
What is that line from the wedding vows? I know this one, don't tell me.... Oh yeah! "...to love, honor, and cherish, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS....". Cheating is cheating whether it's four legs in a bed, or typing dirty in a chatroom.
You have to ask and answer this one question truthfully. "Is he worth keeping?" If he is, then try counseling or working it out some other way. If not, kick him to the curb. Maybe his cyber-girlfriend will take him in.
2007-08-08 10:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Eric C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, confront him about it? find out has much details you can. then ask why? tell him you thought he had put this behind him. that if he wants this marriage to work you both need to go to and get help. I would have the Internet disconnect. if this still don't work, leave him. if he cant control this on the Internet, what does he do when he meets someone in person?
2007-08-01 07:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the second time that you catch him, you should not forgive him. He obviously looking for action somewhere else, so send him packing. Find someone who knows how to appreciate all your good qualities.
2007-08-06 02:10:04 · answer #7 · answered by Rafa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain it so that he understands. I think he needs some real help. If he is willing to risk his family for this internet dalliance. I suggest he go for counseling and to find out exactly how his addiction works. If he wants to save the marriage he will work it out. If he wants to lose the marriage he will continue his ways.
2007-08-01 07:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a physical affair then id say he don't love or respect you at all. if its only verbal then i wouldn't worry it just a fantasy and as long as it don't get real, your OK. remember you can forgive him. but dont forget, always keep your eyes and ears open. goodluck,
2007-08-06 03:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that you are more mad at the girl than your husband - she might not even know he's married. I'd get a divorce, I think it was right to forgive the first time but you'd be foolish to try again - I'd leave.
2007-08-01 08:59:05 · answer #10 · answered by Zabes 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋