I'm a guy, and I have a friend who I like a lot. He is quite sanguine and I sometimes have trouble talking to him in public/social settings. He is very popular and I'm not, so I'm afraid of what ppl might think. I'm concerned that if ppl see we are friends they might dissuade him from being my friend. U know, sometimes guys behave affectionately but in a non-sexual way? I want to but I feel afraid that ppl might assume the wrong things. It is so frustrating, society expects guys not to have feelings or affection in public even among friends.
2007-07-31 20:09:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
hey i feel u there buddy. Society does expect weird things eh??even tho im a girl, it also bugs me how people expect guys not to have feelings or do certain things( i know, im weird). i mean we are all beings rite?? even tho i dun care much what people think of me, u know. people think different things. if one person thinks the clothes ur wearing look weird, & the other person thinks ur clothes are cool, what are u gona do if u care about what people think of u?? c what i mean. u cant always go with what people think of u. if they think ur weird, let them. it may bother u for a while but u will get used to it. or not. if U feel comfortable, then do it. in my school there are many guys who hug & everything. doestn matter. some girls think thats hot. which is besides my point. if u feel its rite, then do it. hey its ur life rite?? u get to live it once. good Luck!!
2007-08-08 14:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Angie: No end in sight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares what people think?
Will the thoughts of random strangers around town change the taste of your food or increase your checking account balance?
There's no reason to think about what people will think unless they affect your survival in some way.
I'm wondering why'd you focus on this though. I hug anyone, whenever I feel like it. Public, private, office. Doesn't matter.
My best friend and I meet once a week and have drinks in a casino. After talking for several hours, we head to the center of the place and say goodbye and hug then go opposite directions (since we park on opposite sides for some odd reason.)
I don't care what anyone in the place thinks. Maybe, tons of people have looked at us and assumed we were gay. I don't know. How would I know? How can their thoughts actually effect me? I've actually never thought about it before this moment.
That's why I wonder why this is a big issue to you. Generally, hugs come about at appropriate times. If you're thinking that you just want to hug this guy some day, then maybe you're slowly examining some other kind of feelings for him.
You can't really anticipate a hugging situation, can you?
It sounds to me like you want a physical level to your friendship and you're gay, but you don't want other people to know you're gay or to suspect that he is, so you're frustrated that you can't take things to another level, even if it's platonic.
Maybe I'm totally wrong here, but it's an odd question for a guy to have on his mind.
Not knowing enough of what exactly is the situation, I'd say don't do it if you don't feel comfortable about it. Or do it when it would be appropriate, like when one of you is leaving for an extended period of time. You can do that handshake thing where as you're shaking hands, you can pull the other person toward you. That'll give you the chance to see if he's willing to come closer, or resists. If he resists, you could act like you were just doing that to give a full two-handed shake.
But geez. What a lot of thought about hugging someone. Are you sure you're not gay?
If you are and he's not, just drop the whole idea of hugging him.
2007-08-01 03:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah the age old issue of why can't boys be affectinate. In our society it is not exceptable for two teenage guys to hug except in extreemly emotinal settings. If you wanna be his friend, be his friend. If he is concerned what other's think or say and won't talk to you in public, then he's not a good friend anyways and you shouldn't be worried about winning his approval. As far as wanting to hug him...I would limit it to moments of extreemity. It will appear wierd, or 'gay' to others and it may make him feel uncomfortable.
2007-08-08 12:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by foxxinaboxx 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I'm the same way, very affectionate, I mean, and I found that if you worry about what others think about you then you will never be yourself, and thats a demon you don't want to fight, so look go ahead and give the guy a hug, and if someone does say tell them to grow the hell up.
2007-08-07 23:16:46 · answer #4 · answered by Kenneth C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FACT: In Nigeria, men who are friends walk down the street holding hands.
You are a part of society and can show your emotions/feelings in any way you deem respectful to yourself and your friend. Don't waste time worrying about what other may think of you. You can't please everyone.
DISCLAIMER: What you think is appropriate may be a criminal act to others; or at the very least get you a punch to the face. Love wisely.
2007-08-07 23:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well guys don't usually hug other guys, even the best of friends.
2007-08-08 00:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i have seen that but in texas they don't. you see it alot down here you must be in the north well you can do it just hug and pat his back kinda roughly that should be goo denough.
2007-08-06 21:31:47 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't care about others if u wanna hug her go for it best of luck
2007-08-08 01:05:14 · answer #8 · answered by Barney101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think ur gay u just don't kno it yet hehe
2007-08-07 16:09:57 · answer #9 · answered by Pretty1988 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what does it really matter what people think of you? follow your heart
2007-08-06 10:18:29 · answer #10 · answered by zoom. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋