Does anyone have any recommendations on how to stop my husband from running up our credit cards? We have a baby due anyday and I'm trying to cut back on expenses. What can I do?
2007-07-31 18:50:32 · 7 answers · asked by K_A_mom 1 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
My honest answer would be that you can't change that - he has to change it. What you can do is sit down and have a heart to heart with him at a quiet time when all is calm. See if you can appeal to his logic and the truth that it simply takes more to feed three than two. Explain that certain things have to take priority over other things--needs vs wants. Ask him nex time before he starts to spend, see if he will ask himself "Is this really a need, or just a want?" If he is smart and kind and logical, I think you can speak to those qualities in him to help him understand your concerns. If this doesn't work, you can negotiate with him for you to be the only card holder for awhile to see if you can save some money for the baby that way. The other option would be to set a limit of say $50.00 (only example) and that neither of you will spend over that without consulting the other (excluding gas and groceries maybe). Work out a deal with him--marriage is negotiating, setting limits, honoring agreements and compromise. If he is a man of his word and he honors his agreements, if you can get him to understand the importance of your concern and agree to do his part, you should make some good progress. List bullet points of benefits to him, you and the baby if he'll do this. Help him see the value in what you want. Habits change slowly. Find something in him to appeal to that motivates him--being a good father, husband, provider, etc. If you can at least diminish his purchases--say he spends as often but not as much money-or reduce how often on unnecessary things, you should make headway. Do the Loreal commerecial on him...your baby deserves only the best because he/she's worth it! I hope he'll work with you - it will sure lower your stress level and that's good for all of you!
2007-07-31 19:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Spring Romantic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's willing, read Christian author Mary Hunt's book "Debt-Proof Your Marriage" as a couple. There is also an accompanying workbook that you could purchase.
The author's website is http://www.debtproofliving.com/. You can probably find her book in your local library or at least at your local bookstore, so it isn't necessary to purchase it online if you prefer not to.
Also if he's willing, watch the secular cable show "Til Debt Do Us Part" together, and use it as a springboard for discussion.
http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Title_ID=93097
Here are some other sites you might find helpful:
http://www.bankrate.com/
http://www.crown.org/
http://www.daveramsey.com/
http://www.debtorsanonymous.org/
http://www.miserlymoms.com/
http://www.oprah.com/money/debtdiet/experts/qa/debtdiet_qa_budgets.jhtml
Congratulations on your new addition to the family!
2007-07-31 19:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by Rella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a great place to go with this. I was in a very similar situation.
This is getting help from real people without the use of banks or credit card companies. Good Luck!
http://www.prosper.com/join/Lzc5wh
2007-08-01 05:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough situation. Clearly it's his way of dealing with stress. Can you talk to him and try to set some limits? Like, give him an amount that's okay to spend, so he has some stress release? Or ask him to freeze the cards in the freezer and only pay with cash for awhile?
2007-07-31 18:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read here on credit card debt solutions
2007-07-31 19:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the credit cards from him
2007-07-31 18:59:48 · answer #6 · answered by B* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Closed the accounts.
2007-08-01 02:32:18 · answer #7 · answered by Gary 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋