I have been married for three years, I am the type of person that see's life with the glass half full, and my husband always see's it as half empty. I try to remain bubbly and positive but some days he just wears me down... and I start to wonder why do I even try to make him see the lighter and brighter side to life. HOW do you handle people like this in your life? Am I tyring to hard? Do I need to just let him be a grump butt all the time? I don't think it's fair for him to mistreat me when he is grumpy. Any advice or thoughts would be much apperciated.
2007-07-31 18:48:11 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Has he told you what was wrong or bothering him? You need to know that you don't have to be his cheerleader all the time. Sometimes people need their space to get over what ever it is keeping them down. Guys don't like to talk about their feelings all the time, and the most that we can do for them is give them a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and let them know that we're here for them when they need us. Let him know that you feel his rut is bringing you down. I think all of us at one point in our life, goes through a rut like this. No it isn't fair for him to mistreat you when he's grumpy, but in turn when we're grumpy we forget to think before we react, or speak. The ones that get hurt the most are the ones closest to us...like our spouse. Ask him if he feels like talking about whatever is bothering him, and just listen. Only listen. Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us without judgment and without critizism. You can start by saying, "I love you, and I would like you to know that I am here for you when you are ready to talk about what it is that's bothering you or keeping you in this rut". And leave it there. When he's ready, he'll come to you. And if he doesn't...don't let that bother you. It may be something he can't explain into words and it may be something he just needs to work out by himself. Best wishes for you both. :-)
2007-07-31 19:01:46 · answer #1 · answered by lady_bella 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. It will get better if you keep at it. My husband spent some time being pretty negative, now that he's turned things around it's really great. Keep throwing him a lifeline, he appreciates it. Look at the big picture. Try to figure out what he doesn't like about his life and then be the person that motivates him to change. Be his cheerleader! Help him see the things in life that you do. Show him. We are all here to teach each other something. Don't give up on him. Learn how to make him smile and get out of his grumpy mood. He wont respond all of the time, but more and more he will. Good luck :)
2007-08-01 03:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound like a "dump him" situation but you do need to make him aware of his behavior. I have a boyfriend I've been with for almost 3 years and although he isn't the "glass half empty" guy, he can be a grump and it makes me walk on egg shells around him. So what I did was make him aware of his behavior and that it's really shitty and it bothers me. Fortunately for me he is working on it. Your situation sounds a bit deeper than that. Do you think he could possibly be depressed? All you can do as I said is make him aware of it, talk about it, get it all out in the open. Don't let him kill your livelihood and rain on your parade, that's not cool on his part. Worse case scenario if you can't handle his down behavior, I guess you can leave. I know people who have done that. They have a miserable, pessimistic spouse and they've just grown tired of dancing around them.
Good luck to you.
2007-08-01 01:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate.
My fiance is a grump a lot of the time.
Especially when I'm not with him, and I'm only talking to him on the phone, or something along those lines.
He gets moody, and is always pessimistic anyhow.
But the thing about him... is that he loves his misery.
And worst of all? He loves spreading it to everyone else, so that they don't spoil his terrible time.
I find it rather amusing that he is happy with being so grumpy.
But I've found that if he says anything that makes me genuinely upset, he's there in a heartbeat apologizing, and feeling more worried than grumpy.
That's what breaks his bad moods.
I spoil his good time with sorrow if I'm upset.
haha.
Anyhow, just relating to you
It'll work out.
Just talk to him, and don't hold back. =)
2007-08-01 02:02:22 · answer #4 · answered by Maggie E. Bang 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl I'm in your same spot, married for three years and with a grump husband always complaining about the same thing, the way I've managed is by telling him, " that's why we don't have nothing cuz you always complaining" it only works for a little, so when you get a good answer let me know the solution. STAR 4 U
2007-08-01 01:58:20 · answer #5 · answered by dark star 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
now did he just become a grumpy person over nite? reason i ask i wonder what was so great about him to start with. True its not pleasant to be with someone that don't appreciate you but you also should look at that side of him that attracted you in the first place.
2007-08-01 02:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a terrible way for you to live. I agree that being negative brings everyone down. He needs to see a therapist, or you need to move on. See if you can get him to watch "the secret", it's a video on positive thinking and positive energy. He will likely think it's dumb, but he needs to be willing to work on himself. If he doesn't want to even try........show him the door.
2007-08-01 02:07:04 · answer #7 · answered by Nina 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Be happy for you not him. If your happiness rubs off on him good, if not don't let it spoil your day. Some people like having grumpy time.
2007-08-01 01:57:48 · answer #8 · answered by Strike2? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him don't give up. Ask him to talk to you or ask him to go to marriage counseling with you. I was the grumpy man and now we are very happy after counseling
2007-08-01 02:28:55 · answer #9 · answered by David G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find out let me know.Im having the same problem.
2007-08-01 01:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by rita f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋