It's just to simple to call it quits now these days.. So why bother? If a guy could have kids, home, love, intimacy, companionship, clean clothes, cooked meals, clean house and sex regularly(not like most marriages) without having to get married. If he does, then if it goes sour, all he owns goes to community property. so he ends up with 1/2.
2007-07-31 18:05:09 · 13 answers · asked by Bone Daddy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if you ladies are married, who's raising your kids when you both go to work? I make my own $? Generally, men do make more $, that's a reality.
2007-07-31 18:30:17 · update #1
It amounts to the same thing a relationship splitting up is a relationship splitting up. Should imagine that it is painful whether married or not.
Why do 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce? People change, we grow up, grow older. Want different things in life. Get scared of dying? Younger woman comes along?
Whatever, it takes two people to be equally committed. Equally to love each other. Equally prepared to work at it. That is a tough challenge. Maybe the question should be - how the hell do people stay together for so long?
2007-07-31 18:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the past, even when a husband and wife were unhappy, divorce was frowned upon. In the past, many men and women (probably mostly women) put up with staying in the marriage either for the kids, because they had nowhere else to go/didn't have financial independance, their church wouldn't allow divorce/they didn't believe in divorce etc...
and in the past I suspect many men just had the luxury of being able to go out and have extra-marital affairs while his wife did not if she was a house-wife and especially more if the husband was the only one who had a car.
it doesn't mean back then there were more couples working hard at having a good marriage. I think there were more couples just putting up with their marriage because it just wasn't accepted as much as now.
as for a guy having kids, home, love, intimacy, companionship, clean clothes/house, cooked meals, and sex regularly, in a lot of cases guys take advantage of the women when they are the one who expects this is a a woman's place. Just because it may be a traditional role for a woman to do these things, it does not mean a man should just come home from work to a clean home and say "so what exactly did you do all day?" and not lift a finger and order her around, or say things like "this isn't our money, its MY money, I am the one who is working!!"
in the times when being a housewife was the norm women were dependent on men and were made to feel they had no claim to the marital finances, the home, etc... if they would divorce. The husband who works owned it all.
this is happening still today in many cultures.
and today still, even with women out in the workforce being more of the norm, people are still not working hard at saving their marriages. There is still people couples who disrespect each other, have affairs (men and women because when the sexual revolution came, women get to "sin as men" do), etc... But now it just became accepted for people to divorce. Plus women have a lot more rights now so more women feel more empowered (but not in all cases) and don't have to put up with their unhappy marriages. it still happens though, how many times have you heard "I'm staying just because of the kids"
the only thing nowadays though, is we have a lot more support to be able to work through problems in a marriage. There is plenty of sexual and marital counselors available to go speak with but when people don't think they should have to work at their marriage, they don't take advantage of these counselors. many marriages that ended in divorce probably could have been saved had the couples attended counseling.
2007-08-01 05:00:45 · answer #2 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My educated guess is that folks are marrying for the wrong reasons.
My list of wrong reasons:
1.I like him/her.
Marrige is more a deep personality match than a sexual game. And, when you *like* someone, you are actually listening to your sexual brain other than anything else. More often than not, liking someone is tied to their looks and some hot vibe like confidence or charisma - none of which can single handedly hold a marrige together.
2.He/she makes me feel good.
That's a remark that is usually tied to the things he/she does to impress and pamper you, and more often than not are conciously staged. What we do conciously plays a bit less to the health of a long term relationship than what we do subconciously.
3.Sex is fabulous!
A very shallow reason will probably harbor a very shallow marrige.
4.I feel protected around him.
Protection is only one aspect one must seek from a potential spouse. Putting all your faith on this alone will most surely be recipe for failure.
6.He/She's rich.
Shallow...
6.He makes me laugh.
Like #2, don't count on this to deliver a strong relationship. It's more of a summer relationship thing than a long term thing.
Also, people don't seem to be able to spend the time to really get to know their partner. They meet today and after 10 dates, some good laughs and a multiple orgasm, they think they've got it all. But after the lust fades, they start to realise some things. Sometimes these *things* are little, but annoying. Other times they're so big issues you think "why in hell didn't I see this before". In the end, some of these turn out to be the "irreconciliable differences" so many divorce statements adress. And, BINGO! You've got yourself another divorce for the statistics.
2007-08-01 01:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by Marker 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't know why so many marriages end up in divorce but its probably because men like you have outdated images and expectations of what a marriage is and what a wife's role in marriage should be---Excuse me--clean clothes and cooked meals? Grow up. Plus "all he owns". I make way more money than my husband (not an issue in our marriage) and this is increasingly common. Sometimes the woman has more to lose than the man.
2007-08-01 01:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by gastonkitty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because we are not willing to work at the marriage the first sign of trouble we are ready to go. Sometime things can be worked out but we don't have enough patient to wait and see if we can fix the problem. We should remember the vows that we say on the wedding day for sick and health good and bad until death do us part. that should tell you that the trouble will come but we have to depend in the LORD that he will do what he say he will never leave you are forsake you. so if we marry in the eye sight of the LORD then we should trust in him to make everything all right in all situation.
2007-08-01 01:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by kool aid 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about this for a reason...the husband beats the crap out of the wife and the kids are watching it. There are dozens of reasons why marriages end in divorce. You obviously live in a fantasy world and have no clue as to what a REAL marriage is all about. Humans (even the men with their inflated egos) aren't perfect. So a "perfect marriage" will never exist. Grow up.
2007-08-01 02:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too much stress. Both couples are working, sometimes 10 hour shifts, kids don't have enough parental supervision, bills add up, intimacy dwindles....What is left is 2 lonely people living in a house with material things, lost from one another and children packing their clothes to stay at Dad's on the weekend.
2007-08-01 01:26:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
People get married too fast (just like they sleep with people too soon)
People are unrealistic about why they're getting married
People get married for the wrong reasons
It's too easy to get married.
I think getting married should be expensive and take a lawyer and a lot of paperwork and getting a divorce should be simple and cheap. Just the opposite of the way it currently is.
2007-08-01 01:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by MissWong 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People seem to forget that Relationships take alot of work. And if marrage doesnt happen, no one would experience that wonderful level of commitment, trust, love, sharing, complete acceptance. Cause you cant get those feelings (or actions from the other person) when you are just shacking up....
2007-08-01 01:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by T I 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Today people have expectations about personal happiness and will leave an unhappy situation. I believe in the past people stuck it out no matter how miserable they were.
2007-08-01 02:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Rosemary's Baby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋