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I am an American Pastor by the way who lives in the Philippines-I am not Filipino. I just read a question asking if Filipino men who stay at home (house husband) are weaklings.
*For the Most Part* 1. I have noticed when a family cannot send "all" children to school, the Filipina is given the advantage to go. 2. If one child must work to send seblings to school/help feed the family, it is the male child who chooses or is picked to go to work at the very young age. 3. When I ask a male child how he feels about working to send his sisters/brothers to school/feed his family. He smiles, looks at me with grate pride and announces he is a MAN-that's what men do. 4. When I ask a female child the same question, she bends her head in shame and cannot/willnot answer or begins to cry. (I am talking about the pain she feels, not that she cries).

But yet I see the filipina Look Down and belittle the un-educated filipino. Why does this seem to be the norm?

Do you think HE feels pain also?

2007-07-31 17:06:46 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel Asia Pacific Philippines

"allan y" the point I am trying to make is that the "boys" sacrafice an education for their sisters or family. And then as "Men" who become ashamed of their situation turn to drink, gambling, adultry, Trying to be the type of "man" everyone says they are for being uneducated. Just as your remark about being lazy and whimper away. But that's the way everyone sees it. They see no pain, no shame, no disgrace for or in the man, only (OH HE'S FILIPINO SO THAT'S THE WAY HE IS).

If you beat a child down long enough, tell him he is nothing, and that he is expected to be lazy and is worthless, then that is what you get, and his child will be taught the same way, and so on down the line.

I have worked in the Asian culture for 34 years and the last 13 strictly with Filipinos add that with the remarks and ideas that appear here, and it is plan as the nose on your face that for the most part the Filipino is trying to be what they have been told they are.

2007-07-31 17:40:00 · update #1

9 answers

The spaniards in their colonization of the Philippines introduced some very destructive belief systems into the people. This included a very pronounced class system which subdivided Filipinos into two main categories: mestizos and indios.

If you were commonly categorized as mestizo, Filipino society dictated then (and now?) that you must be of mixed breed (white/chinese bred with the natives) and therefore the must be more intelligent genteel and wealthy and must be entitiled to certain privileges not afforded the "others".

The others referred to indios or the islands' indigenous populations of generally darker skinned, short statured, broad nosed peoples whom the spanish colonizers deemed as 2nd class citizens and presumably ill bred and uneducated.

Most in Filipino society today would claim that this mentiality has been eradicated with the advent of the 21st century. Perhaps but all one has to do is hear and experience numerous stories to the contrary such as the story you just told us in your question, Magwawali.

You would know first hand what the present reality is.

2007-07-31 17:19:49 · answer #1 · answered by Well 5 · 2 5

Traditionally the Philippines has always been matriarchal; i.e., it's the wife who holds the money even if the husband is the sole breadwinner. In our culture of old, it has been implied that males are expected to bring home the bacon while the females are expected to run the household. But nowadays maybe because of outside influences and/or needs of the times, it's not unusual for both spouses to be working and in some rare instances too, it's the wife who brings home the bacon while the husband runs the household. Personally, I applaud men (regardless of nationality) who have opted to be househusbands. It takes a big man to accept that this role-reversal is not a slap to his manhood but rather the outcome of circumstances far beyond anyone's control (or by choice). For this role-reversal to really work, both parties MUST be in agreement that this arrangement is what is best for the marriage and for the family.

In the Philippine setting, role-reversal does have its drawback. Regardless of what the agreement is between the spouses, others will talk and talk and talk. It is in this sense that the man feels pain - and I feel his pain. Sad to admit but SOME of us Filipinos have a tendency to put our nose where it doesn't belong.

So if we remove stereotyping/labelling (and the stigma?), the term "househusband" is nothing more than the spouse who choose to stay at home only in this case, it is the husband.

No pain but lots of gain!

2007-08-01 01:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Inday 7 · 4 0

The Filipino society, like most societies, has ascribed particular roles for men and women such that it is seen that men should be the breadwinners and women should be the ones who should take care of the home and the children. Everyone (men and women) has been taught to believe this to be the norm. Thus, when one person does not conform to society's rules about what a man or woman should be doing, he/she is "punished" for it.

Men who stay at home, do household chores, take care of the children...are frowned upon and considered to be not a "real" man, a weakling, etc. They are even called names such as Andres de Saya (a hen-pecked husband) or Takusa (Takot sa Asawa=Afraid of his Wife).

Similarly, women are expected to stay at home, take care of the children, do the household chores, etc. And, if they happen to choose having careers rather than doing what they are expected to do, they are seen by society as not good wives or good mothers.

This is not fair for both men and women but despite the many changes that our culture has undergone in the past century, many Filipinos still hold on to these traditional norms and beliefs.

I say, we should start changing our mindsets and make sure that our children and other descendants will no longer live in a society that stereotypes men and women.

2007-08-01 01:09:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anathema Device 4 · 5 0

He would feel pain if he doesn't know his worth. If he is asked to sacrifice so much and is praised for his efforts, then he will feel proud of himself. A poor man can work all day, pour his heart into something.. and be paid a few dollars. A rich man can sit at his computer and watch the cash roll in as his stock ticker slowly scrolls across the screen. Who should be proud? Who can take pride in their work? If not for the efforts of the poor, the rich man would have no stock and would still be nothing. In all cases.. the work is more important than the reward. True pride isn't in having, it's in doing. There is no shame in living a life of labor. If anything, it allows the laborer to learn the truest meaning of life... the knowledge of service. Teach these children why serving others is the most important thing in this eternity... and that the rewards are given according to the condition of their heart, not in the amount of dollars accumulated.

2007-08-01 00:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by JB 2 · 3 1

The role reversal referred to by Inday had its roots in the 1970s when women took to the streets to burn their bras as a sign of liberation and demanded for their rightful place as equal partners in society. This was an upheaval that gradually percolated worldwide, continuing to this day perhaps in different form, but nonetheless of similar substance. Even now as we witness the rising tide of women's empowerment in the global community, we see the traditional expectations being cast aside. Today's women have emerged to take active and expanded roles in the work establishment when once they were relegated in the background doing house chores.

This phenomenon cannot be attributed to one single factor but rather to a confluence of many forces, when families consider that to flourish, or just survive in today's unforgiving world they need to examine their available resources then weigh their options carefully. Thus as more and more wives get out of the house to join the workforce we might see their spouses retreat and assume the difficult role of homemaker, not because the husbands – or housebands as they are apparently called nowadays – are uneducated, but perhaps out of necessity.

Is the house husband’s sacrifice unappreciated? I certainly hope not. And it should not diminish his manhood, inflict him pain, nor suppress his erectoin, nor should we belittle the abilities, accomplishments, and tribulations of the stay-at-home husband. I think that what the wife might be able to achieve successfully depends somewhat on what the husband is able to contribute to that achievement, by performing his tasks at home. That contribution must be acknowledged.

2007-08-01 17:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by sweetwater 7 · 1 0

1. Because in the filipino setting it is expected of male siblings to do those kind of things.

2. Because there are just so many males who would rather not study and would rather work because they do not want to go to school.

3. Because there are more educated females than males, or there are a considerable number of wives who have higher paying jobs than their husbands.

4. And because the country has hundreds of years experience as being a matriarchal society.

2007-08-01 02:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by 4x4 4 · 3 1

women of today wanted to contribute to the financial needs of the family, unlike before where a woman find content to just stay at home.
with this shift, you will find that there are more girls in school than boys. sometime boys are alway boys. they tend to choose wife who are already regularly earning and them to be content at home doing household chores. but if there are options, filipino male really have another choice. to find work.

2007-08-01 02:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by junior 6 · 2 1

a man could brag to be the head of the family but, in truth and in fact, it is the woman who holds the real power in the house. i have seen a lot of women fight and men whimper and scamper away in so many responsiblities in life. honestly, i could not really tell what the question is all about.**

2007-08-01 00:22:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3 3

I got same explanation with Inday.


wink-wink

2007-08-01 08:45:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

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