There's a married guy at my job who keeps asking me out for a drink, is this inappropriate?

Question

Another girl hangs out with him, but his wife is always there. I don't want to hang out with him, but him asking me is starting to make me feel uncomfortable. The other girl says he's just being friendly, but I think he just waiting for the right opportunity at the right time to make a move. My co-worker is kind of naive to me, and I've never heard of a married guy asking single women out for a drink, especially while their wife is pregnant. Now that his wife has had the baby I definitely see no reason for us to hang out. What do you guys think, is he just a friendly guy who wants to hang out, or is he up to no good?

I'm not touching him with a 10-foot pole and I'm going to tell my co-worker to stop hanging out with him. Bad thing is the guy also just got a promotion so now he's kind of our boss.

Thanks noble8fold,

I think this is becoming a harassment issue. He asked me out once while his wife was pregnant, but I just didn't put any stock into it, I even mentioned to other people we might hang out for a drink, thinking nothing of it. We never did, but then he asked again and I thought, you're married, why would I hang out with you? He just asked again last weekend and even wanted me to drive across town to meet him and I told him flatly, NO.

Next time I'll be even more firm and let him know I don't think what he's doing is appropriate.

Answer 1

Thats not cool. This is work related and you feel uncomfortable about his asking you out . You need to tell him no and be clear about it. After that its harrassment in the work place. If he hangs with another girl from work that his wife knows I bet he will tell his wife hes with her when hes out with you. Hes not just a friendly guy who wants to hang out or he would have other people to hang with instead of asking someone out who always says no. He wants more and you know it .This is a bad situation that can only get worse if you dont stop it now.

Answer 2

Sounds like you have pretty good instincts and in my opinion you should trust them. It does sound rather fishy that this married man would be asking out a single co-worker for a drink. I have no idea if he and his wife are into swinging or if he is just trying to hit on you himself, either way it doesn't make for a good work environment. If you are confident enough then I would also recommend that if this fella asks you again that you tell him just how uncomfortable his advances are making you feel and ask him to cease and desist them immediately. Best of luck.

Answer 3

Agree with Mr.R. You're playing with fire and you're liking it. If you love your husband, you need to stop this right now. You have no idea how much pain this can bring him and to your kids if you have any. My ex wife, like you, joined the work force latter in life. She did this exact same thing but it went into a full blown affair. After my divorce I went and talked to his wife and exposed the entire affair. He went back to his wife and left my ex high and dry. My ex wife gave up everything for a d-bag that claimed he loved her. She really regrets it now and would do anything to have our great little family back together. So many people were hurt through all of this it would make your head spin. Are you willing to risk all of this, your reputation, your soul for this? The fallout is unimaginable. We all have had crushes in our married life, but these work flings 9 times out of 10 are fairy tales. You and he are on your best behaviour at work. None of the stress of real life. It's not real, its a Sunday night Lifetime movie. It rarely works out how you see it in your mind. If you are considering stepping out on your husband, do him a HUGE favor and leave him before you bring a third party into this. You are going to crush him if you do not. Believe me!

Answer 4

After working with guys like that I'd say he's up to no good. Don't go out with him. A married guy should not be trying to hang out with single women.

I feel bad for his wife.

Answer 5

Is it inappropriate for a married guy with a pregnant wife at home to invite a female coworker for a drink?

This is a trick question, right?

Friendly married guys (I should know, I'm one myself) DO NOT hang out with unmarried females.

Nice guys with pregnant wives go straight home to help and support their wives.

Nice guys with newborn babies can't wait to get home from work to be with the baby. The baby, not the babe.

Last but not least, it is common for wives to lose interest in sex (for a while at least) after childbirth.

If you want to be a cutie-pie-on-the-sly, go ahead and meet him for a drink. Otherwise, have some respect for yourself, and for decency, and decline his offer of a drink. Decline in a way that will motivate him not to make the offer again.

Answer 6

Are there any men at your job? and if so does he ask them out as much as he ask the women . If he doesn't, then he just likes the company of woman and that is not appropriate for a married man. If he is trying to sleep with you or he just wants your company; it is wrong all the way around. Maybe you could suggest him having a date with his wife, instead of his coworkers

Answer 7

Sounds to me like he is an alcoholic and just wants to have someone to drink with. His wife is pregnant, so she can't. Do you have any males in the office? I would just tell him you would rather not and leave it at that.

Answer 8

Hmm. its hard to say. but now that his wife has the baby he needs to be with his wife and baby. no more haging out with single women.

Answer 9

He is looking for an opportunity to get u buzzed and make his move on ya!

Answer 10

this used to happen to a friend of mine a lot who was asked out but still had to work with the fellow who often was in a position of authority over her and she had a smile and a reply that sorta went something like " i would love to, but i have too much respect for you and your postion in our workplace" that is all she said and strangely it usually worked.